SMS Jokes 121

Filed Under (Humor) by MARU on 02-09-2010

Tagged Under : , , ,

Nag-text si Dolfo kay Berto, “Matagal ko ng itinatago ang nararamdaman ko para sayo. Mahal na mahal kita. Lahat gagawin ko, mapasaya ka lang!”
Tuwang-tuwa si Berto na nag-text back, “Akala mo ba ikaw lang ang nagtatago ng nararamdaman? Ako rin, mahal din kita!”
Nag-text uli si Dolfo, “Pareng Berto, wrong send lang ako. Para kay Bebang yun! Ikaw, ha!”

oOo

STEWARDESS: “Sir, chewing gum po pra di sumakit ang tenga nyo during the flight.”
PASAHERO: “Tenkyu!”
Pagkatapos mag-landing ng eroplano…
PASAHERO: “Miss, pano ba tanggalin tong chewing gum sa tenga ko? ”

oOo

Kailan kaya ako magkakamisis? – Mr. Chips
Ako nga din eh. – Mr. Clean
Bakit kayo lang ba? -Mr. Muscle
Pati din kaya ako! - Mr. Donut

oOo

TEACHER: “Anong similarity nina Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio, Ninoy Aquino at Apolinario Mabini?”
STUDENT: “Ma’am, pagkaka-alam ko po, silang lahat ay pinanganak ng holiday!?”

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Horoscope Mo Ngayon

Filed Under (Humor) by MARU on 02-09-2010

Tagged Under :

Alamin ang kahihinatnan ng kapalaran mo ngayon!

CAPRICORN – Maging alerto. May magtatangkang man-tsansing sa ‘yo. At pangit sya. Pero kung tigang ka, pwede na din pag-tyagaan.

SAGITTARIUS – Ngayon ay prostate cancer awareness month. Salatin ang itlog ng bawat lalaking makakasalubong. Be a concerned citizen, tumulong. Makikapa and save a life.

SCORPIO – Malas sayo ang ngumiti ngayong araw. Kaya kahit anong mangyari, bawal ngumiti.

LIBRA – Mapapasa-iyo ang matagal mo ng inaasam-asam. Pero ilang sandali lang ay mawawala din ito agad dahil sa katangahan mo.

VIRGO – May pupuri sa’yo. Pero wag ka matuwa, pinaplastik ka lang nya dahil may kailangan sya sayo.

LEO – Magtatapat ang isang kaibigan na may “HD” sya sayo. Wag kang kiligin! “HD” as in “Hidden Diri” daw. Kaya sapatusin mo na lang sya.

CANCER – Magiging busy ka sa isang project. Pero wag maging sobrang busy to the point na maha-haggard ka. Tandaan, haggardness is next to ugliness.

GEMINI - Sa Facebook, may magta-tag sayo sa isang group picture kung saan mukha kang kabayo. Napagtawanan ka na ng mga friends mo bago mo pa man sya ma-untag.

TAURUS – Huwag basta-basta magpapagamit sa isang kaibigan. Unless katawan mo ang gusto nyang gamitin at hot naman si friend.

ARIES – Mapipikon ka sa isang biro ng kaibigan. Pero mas mainam na tanggapin mo na lang, the truth hurts naman talaga. Dalas-dalasan mo na lang ang pagligo para di ka ulit matukso na may putok.

PISCES – Unti-unting mararating, kalangitan at bituin. Unti-unting kinabukasan mo’y magniningning. Sige, kanta ka lang.

AQUARIUS – Magiging malamig ang pasko mo. Pity ka naman. Gumawa ka ng paraan para mag-hiwalay ang mga kaibigang may syota, para may kadamay ka sa pasko.
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Chance

Filed Under (Photography, Quotes & Poetry) by MARU on 01-09-2010

oOo

Don’t be bitter and full of hatred
when the one you love decided to leave you…
ask…
listen…
and let go!
don’t force yourself to understand when you can’t,
to fight hard when obviously its over!
to play deal to the nagging truth that…
what you’ve had doesn’t work
and won’t work anymore…
instead say…

“I had loved more than you’d think I would but I feel sorry that you’ve lost your chance to be loved more than you would ever feel  in your life after this.”

oOo

Quote of the day:
“Don’t take people for granted. No matter how much they love you, people get tired.”

music note While writing this, I was listening to “Breakaway” by Kelly Clarkson

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SMS Jokes 120

Filed Under (Humor) by MARU on 31-08-2010

Tagged Under : , , ,

BUNSO: “Tay, may multo daw sa kusina natin?”
TATAY: “Anak, sino naman nagsabi sayo nyan?”
BUNSO: “Si Ate po!”
TATAY: “Hay naku! Wag ka nga magpapaniwala dun! Wala namang multo! Ang mabuti pa samahan mo na lang ako sa kusina at iinom lang ako ng tubig.”

oOo

Isang panget na babae, hinoholdap…

HOLDAPER: “Holdap ito! Akin na gamit mo!”
BABAE: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!”
HOLDAPER: “Anong rape? Holdap nga to eh!”
BABAE: “Nagsu-suggest lang…”

oOo

D best pa rin ang SWAT ng mga bading: Sa Wetpu Ang Tira. SWAT na SWAT yan!

oOo

Sign outside a London second-hand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC.
WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?:D

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Did You Know

Filed Under (General) by MARU on 27-08-2010

3

Did you know that those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most susceptible?
Did you know that those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need someone to protect them?
Did you know that the three most difficult things to say are:
I love you, Sorry and Help me .

Did you know that those who dress in red are more confident in themselves?
Did you know that those who dress in yellow are   those that enjoy their beauty?
Did you know that those who dress in black, are those who want to be unnoticed and need your help and understanding?
Did you know that when you help someone, the help is returned in two folds?

Did you know that it’s easier to say what you feel in writing than saying it to someone in the face? But did you know that it has more value when you say it to their face?
Did you know that if you ask for something in faith, your wishes are granted?
Did you know that you can make your dreams come true, like falling in love, becoming rich, staying healthy, if you ask for it by faith, and if you really knew, you’d be surprised by what you could do.  

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Umagang Kay Ganda

Filed Under (Photography) by MARU on 27-08-2010

Huwag nyo na lang pansinin ang umagang kalandian ko kanina dahil bago ang post na yun, sadyang ang ganda talaga ng madaling araw ko – ng gising ko.

Paano ko naman hindi maa-appreciate ang umaga ko, paghawi ko kanina ng kurtina sa may dining area namin,  eto ang tumambad sa akin:

DSC00956_2

Bihirang mangyari sa akin na maabutan @ 5:30am… na andiyan pa ang buwan.

DSC00957_2

Hindi na ako umalis sa kinatatayuan ko. Tinitigan ko na lang ang pag-aagawan ng liwanag at dilim.

DSC00958_2

Ang bilis. Mga segundo lang, nagsimula na agad takpan ng maninipis na ulap ang buwan.

DSC00959_2

Hindi sa nagpapaka-emo o senti ako, gusto ko lang i-appreciate lalo ang Diyos, sa ganda ng mga gawa nya.

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Ops! Ambilis talaga. Nawala na agad si buwan at umeeksena na ang sikat ni haring araw…

DSC00962Para sa umagang kayganda-ganda!

oOo

Quote of the day:

“Life is for having fun. Don’t give that person the rest of your tears or a month or a year of your life when he/she treats you badly.”

music note While writing this, I was listening to "Hell On The Throat (Acoustic)" by Dashboard Confessional

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Umagang Kalandian

Filed Under (Nothingness) by MARU on 27-08-2010

Tagged Under : ,

6:49 Kapisbuk ko

inday
pose ka photo shoot kita

6:49am Me

amo? isdatchu?
anong pose?

6:49am Kapisbuk ko

puro ka naman isdatchu
hehehe
photoshoot kita

6:50am Me

hahaha! ang sungit mo naman, amo? gusto mo bigwasan kita?

6:50am Kapisbuk ko

buti na lang malayo

6:50am Me

sus mariano garapon! baka ano ang i-shoot mo!

6:51am Kapisbuk ko

hehehehh pwede

6:51am Me

tse! at isa pang tse!

6:51am Kapisbuk ko

kailan uwi mo, photoshoot kita

6:52am Me

nakow! wala pang balak. walang salapi.

6:53am Kapisbuk ko

sakay ka tourist bus

6:53am Me

pinaaayos pa sa crame! matatagalan pa yun.
maganda ba pic ko? bwahaha! at talagang nagtanong ha

6:54am Kapisbuk ko

yap nakaaaliw
nakakaantig ng natutulog na damdamin ng pagnanasa

6:55am Me

pucha! wala naman nakahubad dun

6:55am Kapisbuk ko

parang nadiskubre mo ung fountain of youth
mukhang bumata ka nag reduce ka no

6:56am Me

(nagkakabolahan na ulit, mga kaibigan)

6:56am Kapisbuk ko

totoo un kahit di ka maniwala

6:57amMe

eh siempre…sekreto dun at ang panatilihin ang virginity siempre.

ay*

6:57am Kapisbuk ko

intact pa ba
baka magsara yan

6:57am Me

di lang intact! napagsarhan na

6:58am Kapisbuk ko

nakupo disgrasya yan
meron akong kilala na nagbubukas nyan

6:59am Me

ano gamit?
at magkano sya? hahaha!

Kapisbuk ko went offline, at natatae daw sya. Pak!

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Wag Magtipid Sa Pag-Ibig

Filed Under (Inner-self, Inner-thoughts, Twitter) by MARU on 26-08-2010

Tagged Under : ,

Like ko ‘to, galing sa Twitter ko:

8-26-2010 12-39-06 PM  8-26-2010 12-36-59 PM  8-26-2010 12-35-23 PM

Palaisipan di ba? Punong-puno ng aral. Choos!

Wag talaga magtipid kasehodang tumambling ka sa sakit pag pumalpak o nagkamali ka sa pagmamahal mo. Ibabangon ka naman tiyak ng panahon para maging MAS kaibig-ibig pa ang pagkatao mo.

Kebs naman kung sumemplang ka dahil sa pag-ibig. Ang importante ay umibig ka ng bonggang-bongga at hindi mo tinipid ang sarili mo sa pagmamahal, sa isip, sa salita at sa gawa.

Di nga, wag matakot na masaktan ng dahil sa lecheng pag-ibig. Kung nagmahal ka at hindi ka nasaktan, isa lang ang ibig sabihin nyan – hindi ka talaga tunay na nagmahal.

Amen?

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Men In UK

Filed Under (Gadgets) by MARU on 26-08-2010

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I was reading articles about tv reviews, it was in Reader’s Digest old issue when I came across with an interesting survey. It says that according to survey by electrical retailer in UK, nearly half of the men surveyed are willing to forgo sex for six months in exchange for a 50-inch plasma television!

Whom are they kidding? I said. Give up sex for six months? Lol!

The device, a plasma tv, is one of the latest must-have gadgets in Britain during the 2008, so it’s no wonder that some men would make the biggest sacrifices just for – tv’s. Well, talk about a powerful motivation. Cannot help but laugh when I read it, really.

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Kodakan Mo Ko

Filed Under (Inner-self, Inner-thoughts) by MARU on 26-08-2010

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Naumay na ako sa mga laman ng balita sa radio, TV at kahit sa online news. Nagtuturuan at nagsisihan na ngayon  dahil sa hostage-taking na nangyari nung Lunes.  Kagabi lang eh may opisyal na ng pulis  – gumulong ang ulo at nasibak sa pwesto. Naglabasan na rin yung mga nagmamarunong na mga congressmen at senators! Pwe! Nakakaumay na!

Kaya welga muna ako ngayon, hindi na muna ako nakinig at nanood ng balita. Pagka-gising ko kasi sa umaga, binubuksan ko na agad ang TV at pag nasa harap na ng ‘pyuter, nakikinig din ako sa online radio.

Kanina, deretso  alila mode na agad ako. Inasikaso ko muna ang pagiging dakilang lungkatots ko. Luto ng almusal, ligpit, linis, punas, walis at salang ng damit sa washing machine as usual. Nang magising ang amo kung babae, eh nag-Kitkat muna ako. Take a break bagah.

Sabi ko sa unica hija kong bagets,  “kodakan mo nga ako at nasa mood ako ngayon mag pose. Gusto ko yung tipong stolen shots ha?”. Well, natupad at successful naman ang mga request kong stolen shots. Obyus ba na nakatingin ako sa camera? Haha!

Kever naman kung walang suklay at hilamos si Mamaru.  Ang importante nakapag-pakodak ako kahit ang aga-aga. Simple joys ‘ika nga. Walang basagan ng trip! Ini-execute ko lang naman ang kababawan ng kaligayahan ko. (Nag-explain ba!)  Howel, at least nag-pose ako at hindi yung bus sa Quirino grandstand ang background ko.

Sayang at nakalimutan ko isuot ang uniform kong apron.

Good Thursday everyone!

music note While writing this, I was listening to “Water And Bridges” by Dashboard Confessional.

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Because Life Is Short

Filed Under (Life & Leisure, NoWordBook) by MARU on 26-08-2010

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Nothing can stop me from having the time of my life when I am with my two children. Especially now that the two really find time for us to be together, that we go out once a week to have fun, and seize the moment.

Life is too short for me to be wasted. The more that I avoid getting sick now. See, I am a single mom with no health insurance (wish to have a short term health insurance NC) to count on. Thus, I really have to take care of my physical condition.

When I take better care of myself, I know I would be spending more years with people I truly love the most.

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Untitled

Filed Under (Inner-self, Inner-thoughts, Photography, Quotes & Poetry) by MARU on 25-08-2010

Tagged Under :

image-preview(17)

it was fun chasing an illusion…

it gave me a reason to be happy even if it wasn’t real…

but any chase surely has to end…

I’m just disappointed cause when it did end,

I was left with nothing…

but a memory of something that never existed.

http://maruism.tumblr.com/

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Mga Manhid!

Filed Under (People) by MARU on 25-08-2010

Tagged Under : , , ,

Habang nagluluksa ang buong Hongkong at Pilipinas dahil sa nakakalungkot na pangyayari noong isang gabi, eto naman ang ginawa ng ibang kapulisan at kababayan natin. Napaka-manhid ng mga taong ‘to!

@#$%^&&*!!!

Paano nyo nagawang ngumiti habang nagpapa-piktyur sa isang lugar na namatayan ng 9 katao! Hindi man lang ba kayo kinilabutan? Walang masama ang kumuha ng litrato, pero yung mag-pose pa kayo dun sa crime scene (at naka NGITI pa ha) – kawalan naman yun ng puso,  at respeto sa mga namatayan! At ipo-post pa sa Facebook account nyo?! Napaka-insensitibo nyo naman!

Hindi ko tuloy masisisi ang mga Chinese/HK nationals na kamuhian tayo, dahil na rin sa ibang kababayan natin na hindi man lang marunong mag isip!

Syet! Nahahayblad ako! Indayyyyy, penge nga ng tubigggggg!

5  2 31 4

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Bonggang-Bongga Na Tawa

Filed Under (Humor) by MARU on 25-08-2010

Tagged Under : , , ,

Bonggang-bongga talaga ang tawa ko dito sa video na ‘to. Kagigising ko lang kanina nang mapanood ko at di ko mapigilan tawagin mga junakis kong si Kevin at Ziah para ipanood. It made my day!

Watch nyo…di kayo magsisisi!

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Life Is Unpredictable

Filed Under (General) by MARU on 25-08-2010

Tagged Under : ,

In spite of our best-laid plans and expectations, all through the journey of life we meet obstacles and challenges along the way. There are things we cannot see coming, unforeseen event like car accidents (thus you need car insurance) etc. Well, if things go perfectly always, how would we learn the lessons that each one of us need in getting through life in the future? Life is definitely an unpredictable roller coaster ride and I decided just to be thankful that I am given the chance to ride it.

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Ano Ang Pagkakaiba?

Filed Under (Humor) by MARU on 24-08-2010

Tagged Under : ,

Ng Mendoza hostage-drama pictures na ‘to kagabi…

8-24-2010 2-46-37 PM

8-24-2010 2-45-22 PM

Dito…

soldier-behind-car-funny-hide-funny-blog-550x335

Kalurkey!

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SMS Jokes 119

Filed Under (Humor) by MARU on 24-08-2010

Tagged Under : , , ,

Mga SWAT at PNP wala kulang talaga sa training.. Ganito tuloy ang labas:

S-ugod
W-ait
A-tras
T-akbo

P-uro
N-a lang
P-apogi

oOo

HONEYMOON:
WIFE: “First time mo ba talaga, honey? Bakit ang galing mo?”
HUSBAND: “Hayop ka! kung first ka rin, bakit alam mo na magaling ako?

oOo

(Sa isang waiting shed sa tondo, 11:30pm)
TAMBAY: “Miss wag kang kikilos ng masama!”
MISS: “Ba, ba, baket po..?”
TAMBAY: “Kasi bad yun, ok?ingat…”

oOo

BABY JAMES: “Dad, what’s between Mom’s legs?”
JAMES: “PARADISE”
BABY JAMES: “What’s between your legs?”
JAMES: “Key to Paradise”
BABY JAMES: “Dad, change LOCK, neighbour has DUPLICATE Key”

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