“Mommy, guwapo ba ako?”
“Itanong mo sa girlfriend mo.”
“Wala akong girlfriend.”
An old Fellow fell in Love with a Lady. He got down on his knees.. & told her there were 2 things he would like to ask her.
She replied: “0K”…
He said: “Will you Marry Me?”
She replied: ” YES “…
Then asked what his 2nd Question was?…
He replied: “Will you help me stand up?”
Though he loved the design of his new tie. Juan had no choice but to take it back to the store. When the salesman asked what was wrong with it, Juan replied, “Too tight.”
“Ano kayang puwedeng kainin mamaya?”
Most Pinoys asked after almost every meal.
Girl announced her engagement to her father.
FATHER: “Does this fellow have any money?”
GIRL: “Oh! Dad, you men are all alike. That’s exactly what he asked me about you!”
QUESTION: Why do only 15% of women go to heaven?
ANSWER: Because if they all went, it would be hell.
In U. S. politics, Donald Trump’s supporters are now being called “Trumpeters”. In Pinas, some supporters of Digong Duterte are being called “Dutertenatics”, while Binay supporters are denying that they are called “Binayarans”.
An elderly man just finished his annual physical when the doctor saw him grinning from ear to ear. The doctor said, “Fred, we did the works – heart, lungs, credit scores, investments and guess what? You can afford to live another 20 years!”
A man bought some dragon scales from China for his wife.
SHE: “Ooh, they’re beautiful! What are they?”
HE: “Dragon scales. They’re very rare!”
SHE: “What are they for?”
HE: “Weighing dragons!”
A boss yelled at an employee, “This is the fifth time you’ve been late to work this month! Do you know what that means?”
The employee replied, “Probably that it’s Friday.”
The Sandiganbayan has junked Jinggoy Estrada’s petition for bail.
Bong Revilla is asking Lani Mercado, his children, and their supporters to pray harder!
INTERVIEWER: “Why did you leave your previous job?”
APPLICANT: “Because once they fire you, they won’t let you stay!”
**Thank you MIKE for the above SMS jokes.
“Mas okay pa ang mahulog sa manhole kesa sa maling tao.”