"Oh she takes care of herself. She can wait if she wants. She's ahead of her time. Oh and she never gives out. And she never gives in. She just changes her mind..."
-- Billy Joel's "She's Always A Woman To me" 
- We got off the Titanic first.
- We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
- We never ejaculate prematurely.
- When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it’s pathetic.
- Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours.
- We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
- We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
- Taxis stop for us.
- Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
- We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
- Free moving (you get the point).
- We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we’re gay.
- We can hug our friends without wondering if WE’RE gay.
- We know The Truth about whether size matters.
- If we have sex with someone and don’t call them the next day, we’re not the devil.
- Condoms make no significant difference in our enjoyment of sex.
- If we’re not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.
- Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
- It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
- No fashion faux pas we make could rival The Speedo.
- We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
- If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it’s because we’re being emotionally neglected.
- We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
- If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
- We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
- If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
- We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
- We don’t have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
- We have the ability to dress ourselves.
- We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
- Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.
- We know that there are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
- Gay waiters don’t make us uncomfortable.
- We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
- We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
Tags: sexuality
July 7th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Excellent!
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July 7th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
wow naman maru porenjer yang isang yan ah..
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July 8th, 2007 at 6:30 am
Sexist! LOL
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July 8th, 2007 at 6:37 am
Hala, aleng maruism, hindi ko inakalang magkakaroon ka ng ganoong klaseng atensyon mula sa “empress maruja”
Kasalanan yata ang maging kapareho mo siya ng pangalan sa blog world! Actually, hindi pareho, kahawig lang pala.
Anyway, sana hindi na lang patulan.
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July 8th, 2007 at 10:51 am
haaaaaaaaaay… woman….. *sabay kambyo
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July 11th, 2007 at 9:52 am
“ANTITHESIS”
Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.
Your orgasms are real. Always.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don’t care if someone doesn’t notice your new haircut.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
Same work… more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
You don’t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.
You can be president
People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with “So, notice anything different?”
One mood, ALL the time
Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You know stuff about tanks
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don’t rob you blind.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking “He must be mad at me.”
No maxi-pads.
You don’t mooch off other’s desserts.
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
The world is your urinal.
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July 11th, 2007 at 10:21 am
nyahahaha! i just love men. ayaw patalo ha.
angelo, salamat sa pagdalaw ulit.
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