M A R U I S M

SMS Jokes For Today:

• Mag-asawa nag aaway:
  MRS: “Punyeta ka!”
  MR: “Punyeta ka rin!”
  Mrs: “Tarantado!”
  Mr: “Tarantado ka rin!”
  Mrs: “Supot!”
  Mr: “Sorry na…”

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• MOMMY: “Anak, sabihin mo sa daddy mo hilutin ako.”
  ANAK: (bulol) “Daddy, iyutin mo daw ti mommy.”
  DADDY: “Sabihin mo wala ako sa mood.”
  ANAK: (bulol) “Mommy wala daw ti ‘ya tamod.”

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• BATA: “Tay, kapatid ko po ba si ninong?”
  AMA: “Hindi, anak. Kumpare ko yun. Aba’y bakit mo naitanong?”
  BATA: “Kasi po ‘tay, nakita ko si ninong dumedede kaya nanay.”

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• Escaped convict ties couple to bed, hugs the wife, kisses her ear and goes to the toilet.
  Hubby tells wife: “Satisfy him or he will kill us. I saw the way he kissed you. Be strong… I love you.”
  Wife: “He didn’t kiss me. He whispered that he’s gay and asked for petroleum jelly. I told him it’s in the toilet. You be strong… I love you too.”

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• BATA: “Wala akong kwentang anak sa ‘yo! Lahat ng gawin ko mali. Di nyo ko mahal!”
  AMA: “Nagkakamali ka anak!”
  ANAK: “Shit! mali na naman ako!…”

~~~~~

• Ron the rooster was the biggest, meanest rooster in the world. He spent all his time beating up the other animals on the farm. One day he picked on the farmyard cat. Unfortunately for the rooster, the cat beat the crap out of him, which proves .. no matter how big the cock is, the pussy can take it.

Quote For Today

Happiness is not found at the end of the road. It is experienced everytime you make a sudden turn… – Sogo Hotel (Recto Branch)