"Oh she takes care of herself. She can wait if she wants. She's ahead of her time. Oh and she never gives out. And she never gives in. She just changes her mind..."
-- Billy Joel's "She's Always A Woman To me" 
- APO: “Lolo, naka lipstick ka?”
LOLO: “Ha? bakit apo?”
APO: “Eh kasi po lolo, lagpas lagpas.”
LOLO: “Walanghiya yang lola mo, hindi nya sinabi may regla pala sya! Syet! Syet!”
- What fruits best describe a woman’s flower?
Answer: Durian. Why? Smells like hell but taste like heaven!
How about for men?
Answer: Santol. Why? Sarap sipsipin pero di kayang lunukin!
- Tanong: Ano ang tawag sa private part ng bakla pagkatapos ng sexual reassignment surgery or sex transplant para sya maging babae?
Sagot: FAKE-FEK!
- A man sadly complained that his wife had lost all interest in sex. Doctor gave him a bottle of powerful pills to give to wife. he secretly drops one in wife’s coffee, and takes a pill himself.
After 10 mins:
Wife: “I need a man…!”
Man: “ME TOO!”
- “Bloody hell!!! What the fuck did just land on my cutie top? I mean i’ve spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think i’ll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!” —- reaction ni Inday nung natalsikan sya ng mantika habang nagpi-prito ng tilapia.
- Ma’am/Sir:
I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee,effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company…”
Truly Yours,
Inday
-
Fun facts from Infection Control
During an hour’s swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine.
In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.)
An average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!
Annually you will shake hands with 11 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
Annually you will shake hands with 6 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples’ anal gases.
HAVE A GREAT DAY…
…and wash your damn hands!
Tags: interesting facts, lafftrip, SMS Jokes
September 6th, 2007 at 6:23 am
…after reading this..iba na tingin ko bawat makaka-shake hands ko!! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!
MARU: oist, parekoy! tagal mong di dumadalaw dito a. hehehe. musta na?
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September 6th, 2007 at 7:03 am
ehem ehem ehem… parang amoy ko kung kanino galing ang mga text jokes na ito… di ako sigurado pero malakas ang kutob ko… gusto kong makita yung mga text messages sa pagitan ng mga jokes na ito… sampol naman jan langga
MARU: (deadma one more time)
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September 6th, 2007 at 8:23 am
hhahhaa ayos si lolo!!!
MARU: hello zoul! howdy my friend?
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September 6th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Ayos ng lipstick ano!
Kaya nga di ko na hinahawak ang door knob ng CR namin. Madami kasing hindi naghuhugas. Ewwy not-bloody thingie! After doing my business in the CR, I wash my hands, open the door (by pulling on the side), and rub alcohol onto my hands. Hahaha!
MARU: langya, aktwali di ko naiisip yun na madaming ewwy sa mga doorknobs lalo na sa public CRs. kelangan mahanapan ko yun ng diskarte para di ko mahawakan ang mga doorknobs.
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September 6th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
hihihi. idol ko si inday!
napadaan lang ms maru. got here thru joncabron. hope im welcome to drop by anytime. hehehe.
MARU: hi kaith! idol ko na rin si Inday! hahaha! thank u for dropping by o sa pagbisita…hope ul make it a habit. God bless, kaith.
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September 6th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
gagamit ako ng tissue while opening the door knob from now lol
MARU: parang ganun na nga rin yata gagawin ko. pagkatapos ko gamitin ang tissue sa pagpahid ng (censored) ko…gagamitin ko yun sa pag hawak ng door knob:D para tipid di ba?
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September 6th, 2007 at 9:23 pm
whoa! LMAOROFLOL
MARU: hello undextrois! haba nyan a! ano ba ibig sabihin nyan?:D baka minumura mo na ako nyan ha? nyahaha!
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September 7th, 2007 at 12:19 am
uii ang ganda…ayy nde pla!..langya ang bangis nun tattoo hehe..parang gus2 kona rin magpa tattoo nakatalikod sakin un babae hehe…nakita ko rin face mo maru 1st time un sa airport ata un hehe kaka :X tsaka =p~…
MARU: nyahaha ruma! uu nga, nagladlad na ako.
misyu, bro!
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September 7th, 2007 at 7:55 am
haha. kaaliw naman dito. lafftrip tong post mong tong!
MARU: pazing hello! are u just passing by? hahaha! salamat at naaliw ka. salamat din at nag pazing ka dito.
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September 7th, 2007 at 11:31 am
^maru, mga ganitong blogs kasi ang tipo kong basahin, hindi pormal, mga kakenkoyan, pero malaman! hihi! add kita sa blogroll ko para dun na lang ako lagi pipitik, nahihirapan akong hanapin sa bookmarks eh.
MARU: hi pazing! thank u for linking me up. ill visit u soon in ur blog. have a nice day, sweetie
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