SMS Jokes 06.29.08

Dear Pedro,

Pinagsisisihan ko pagbasted sa ‘yo. Tinetesting ko lang pasencia mo nung sabihin ko sobrang pangit mo, wala ka kwenta at ng sinumpa kita.Bawat segundo ikaw nasa isip ko, kahit sa panaginip.Tanggap ka na ng magulang ko, mahilig lang silang magbiro nung hinabol ka ng itak ni tatay at sinabuyan ka ng ihi ni nanay.
Di ako mabubuhay ng wala ka.

Nagmamahal,

Aida

P.S. Congrats nga pala sa pagkapanalo mo ng lotto, lab u…

BaKIT mahiyain ang kambing?
Kasi ang nanay niya, may sungay na, may balbas pa.
Bakit mas mahiyain ang sisiw?
Kasi nanay n’ya may itlog, tatay n’ya wla.

“U’ll neverknow whatu have til it’s gone..
& once you lose it,
you can never getit back.”

-Snatchersa Quiapo.

JR: “Nay, naglokoba si lolo noong buhay pa sya?”
MOM: “Pag namatay ako, tatanunginko sya sa langit.”
JR: “Eh kung nasahell si lolo?”
MOM: “Tatay moang mgtatanong!”

Soldier in a war received a picture from his GF.
She was naked, legs spread with a note, “4 UR EYES ONLY! Mis u!”
Soldier: “HAYUP KA! Eh sino nagpicture sa yo?!”

Teacher: “Juan give me colors that start with letter M except maroon!”
Juan: “hmm… Maitim!Mapute!Maputla!Madilaw!Mukang berde!Mej0 asul!”
Teacher: “Gago!”

In a job interview…
Boss: “We need someone na responsible.”
Applicant: “Ako ang hinahanap nyo. Kapag nagkakaroon ng problema, lagi nilang sinasabi, ‘You’re the one responsible.”

Mr: “Honey, anong difference between a kiss, a car & a monkey?”
Mrs: “Ako pa tinanong mo… a kiss is so dear, the car is too dear & the monkey is u dear!”

What is the difference between a nurse & a girl of the night?
Nurse gives you First Aid, while the Girl of the night gives you AIDS first.

Biology:
Q: what do u call d stage when a woman’s monthly period stops?
A: Menopause.
Q: what do u call d time when a man starts using “viagra”?
A: Kinapause.

INTERVIEWER: “ano ang gagawin ninyo kung gumising kayo na may katabi na $1M?”
KANO: “go on a world tour”
HAPON: “put up a hotel.”
PINOY: “tulog uli para maging $2M!!!”

Mrs: “Hon, wag kang masyadong magbabad sa dagat, maalat ang tubig..”
Mr: “Eh, ano nmn kung maalat.”
Mrs: “Aba, eh kulubot na nga aalat pa, magiging TSAMPOY Yan!”

Prof: “If you’ll be given a chance to have a 3rd eye,san yun ilalagay? At bakit?”
(dami sumagot pero isa ang nag-stand 0ut)
B0y: “sa pus0 ko p0 para di na ko mabuLag sa pag-ibig”

  • Baby
  • Babe
  • Bhe
  • Tart
  • Boo
  • Honey
  • Sweety
  • Angel
  • Darling
  • Love
  • Dear
  • Choi
  • Momy
  • Dady
  • Mine
  • Sweetiepie
  • Pangga
  • panget
  • Mahal
  • Kahit ano pang tawagan yan. Maghihiwalay din yan. :D

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