"Oh she takes care of herself. She can wait if she wants. She's ahead of her time. Oh and she never gives out. And she never gives in. She just changes her mind..."
-- Billy Joel's "She's Always A Woman To me" 
WOMAN CARRYING SICK BABY BOY to DOC:
DR: Is he bottlefed?
W0MAN: Breastfeed Doc
(Doc squeezes woman’s breast)
DR: Thats why he’s sick, u don’t have milk.
WOMAN: Yaya ako Doc!
APPENDIX
MR: Doc ipapatanggal ko appendix ng Mrs ko.
DR: di ba inalis ko na yun last year? Walang taong 2 ang appendix.
MR: Lam ko po, pero meron pong ta0ng dalawa ang Mrs!
IN A FASTFOOD RESTO:
CREW: Ano po order nyo?
MAN: 1 Large burger & Large softdrink.
CREW: Dito nyo po b kakainin?
MAN: Pwede sa table na lang? Nakakahiya kasi may nakapila pa sa likuran.
CREW: Ayaw nyo po sa plato para di baboy tingnan?
-usapan ng dalawang pilosopo.
ANNOUNCEMENT:
No classes/work t0m0rr0w until friday,
2 typhoons are expected to hit the country tomorrow.
Please pass.
-A message from PAG-ASA
PAG-ASA ng mga tinatamad pumasok..
What’s Happening - August?