SMS Jokes 09.30.08

STAGES OF GROWTH and DEVELOPMENT

3 to 8 years old: paramihan ng toys.
9 to 18: pataasan ng grades
19 to 25: padamihan ng syota.
26 to 35: pagandahan ng asawa.
36 to 45: palakihan ng income.
46 to 55: padamihan ng kabit.
56 to 70: padamihan ng sakit.
70 and above: pabonggahan ng LIBING.

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KRIMINAL 1:”Kinakabahan akong pumunta sa korte. Minamarkahan daw ng exhibit number ang crime weapon tapos iniiwan sa Judge.”
KRIMINAL 2: “Ha? Bakit? Ano ba kaso mo?”
KRIMINAL 1:”RAPE”

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Talunan

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Matagal-tagal na rin (mga taon na rin ang lumipas) nung huling nasabihan ako ng, “wag ka makialam, buhay ko ‘to”.

Paano ko nga ba makakalimutan yung nakaraan, eh na depress lang naman ng nasabihan ako noon. I truly endured the sting of the rejection for days, weeks and months.

Kahit nasaan man ako, pag naaalala ko yung mga salita na yun ng ex-bf ko noon, otomatik na nagpa-pang abot na agad ang luha at uhog ko.

Nakasakay man ako ng dyip, naghuhugas man ng pinggan, nagbubuklat man ng magazine as in walang pinipiling lugar – crying lady na agad ako.

It took me quite some time before I was able to shake it off, i mean the feeling of being rejected. Then, akala ko talaga I have trained my hard-wired fear of rejection out of my system. Hindi pa pala.

Lately, sa kamalas-malasan nasabihan na naman ako ng kinatatakutan kong mga salita. Nakakatulala. Pakiramdam ko nasampal ako. Namanhid ako.

Howel, maybe hindi lang sinasadya na nasabihan ako ulit. Maybe I am just too sensitive. Maybe I have crossed the line. Maybe sumobra ako. Maybe I deserve it.

Pero wala akong sinisisi kung nasabihan man ako ulit ng ganun. Kasalanan ko, nanghimasok nga lang talaga siguro ako. So, sorry na lang ako.

Kaso, I admit I don’t have skin thick enough to completely ward off the effects. It hurts me big time. Hanggang wish lang ako na sana yung mga salita na yun will simply bounce off me like bullets of Superman’s chest. But I am no superhero. I am only human.

Nakaka-trauma, pero yan ang rejection lines na pilit kong iniiwasan na sabihin ulit sa akin kaya dumidistansya talaga ako makipag-close sa ibang tao kasi ayoko umabot sa puntong maging pakialamera ako sa buhay ng may buhay.

LOSER. This is the word I don’t allow myself to be called such as one. Pero NOON yun. Ngayon, ako na mismo ang tatawag sa sarili ko na ako ay isang malaking – TALUNAN! Para kasing hindi na ako natuto.

Even if it hurts,well, life marches on. Again, I have to view rejection as a learning experience. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako ulit magsisimula. Pero naiisip ko, the best way na lang siguro is to be silent, keep mum and move on.

Mga Namesung Ko

May TAG sa akin ang everdearest friendlalu kong si Christian aka Chico aka Bhe aka Isagani (nauna ko syang nakilala sa handle name na Doc Isagani).

Ang TAG: i-chuva ko raw lahat ang mganamesungchenes ko. Sabi ko, Ok sige, eto na, eto na, eto na!

  • BABY

Eto talaga ang orig na petname na binigay sa akin ng magulang ko sa akin. Baby, kasi ako ang bunso sa anak na babae tsaka kala talaga nila ako na ang last kaso medyo gigil pa tatay ko sa nanay ko noon at hindi pa sila nakuntento at nasundan pa ako ng isang menopausal baby boy.

Dalawang tao na lang ang nariringgan kong tumatawag sa akin ng BABY ngayon. Yung bayaw ko (tatay ng ka-berks kong si Tweet) at yung high school bespren kong si Faith. Nami-miss ko rin minsan ang pet name kong ‘to.

  • PEACAT (Peax, Pcat)

Screen name ko to sa showbisnis. Joke!

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Watch It

The coming of the holidays signals the start of endless Christmas shopping. Moreover, what could be worse that finding out at the end of the year that your bank account is down to three digits, and your credit cards are all maxed out? So as early as month of June, save! save! save! should be your mantra especially if you are planning to give your executive man a precious gift.

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Balance Budget With Quality

People usually associate home makeovers with huge amounts of money, time, and effort. But there are ways to get the home of your dreams without emptying your wallet. Like balancing budget with quality. Just remember that there are certain items that you will be using for long term. So, dont compromise quality with cost, especially when it comes to things like tiles, carpets, outdoor lighting, or big pieces of furniture like cabinets, tables and chairs.

Uso Pa Ba Si Robin Padilla?

Minsan, naitatanong ko, ilan pa kayang Robin Padilla ang meron sa mundong ‘to?

Naalala ko, nasa college pa ako noong kasikatan ni Binoe. Susme! daming chiquititas, artista man o hindi ang talagang nahumaling kay Robin. Siempre isa na ako dun sa mga arista. (Oo, artista ako, kasi ang arte-arte ko di ba?)

Pag katrabaho nga daw ‘tong si Robin sa paggawa ng pelikula, bihira sa mga leading lady nya ang nakakaiwas na hindi ma-inlab sa kanya. Daming nagtaka kung bakit at kung ano ang sekreto meron si Padilla eh hindi naman sya kagwapuhan (pero nag uumapaw naman sa mala-hayup na sex appeal, dai!).

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CDL Training

Whenever I watch TV news, accidents involving vehicles seem never fail to make it in the news report -everyday.

When road mishaps happen which involve big trucks, the result is commonly fatal to both passengers and drivers. This is due to the vehicle’s weight and size that when a truck collide against another vehicle the impact can be so strong. That is why, I think truck drivers should really undergo CDL training.

Get Rich Slowly

It is easy to fall prey to get-rich-quick schemes nowadays. Of course we do want to earn good money, however if you are investing into business that promise incredibly high returns that it seem like its too good to be true, then they are surely scams.

Well, there are many legitimate investment options available. Look for a franchise opportunity instead but dont expect to get rich overnight it just doesn’t happen that way.

SMS Jokes 09.24.08

Kasabihan…

  • “Ang Buhay ay parang bato…it’s Hard.”
  • “Aanhin ko ang napakalaking bahay, mamahaling sasakyan, milyun-milyong kayamanan, at masasarap na pagkain kung ang kapit-bahay ko ang may-ari ng mga iyun?!”

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Boy: “Di na tuloy ang kasal natin”
Girl: “Bakit?!”
Boy: “Kuya mo kasi eh!”
Girl: “Hindi no! Gusto ka ng Kuya ko!”
Boy: “Yun nga eh…gusto ko rin ang kuya mo!”

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American guy named Paul challenged a Filipino:
American: “Use my name 4 times in a sentence!”
Pedro: “Paul, be carePaul, you might Paul in the swimmingPaul.”

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Juan: ”Birthday ng asawa ko…”
Pedro: “Ano regalo mo?”
Juan: ”Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.”
Pedro: “Ano naman sinabi?”
Juan: ”Kahit anobasta may DIAMOND.”
Pedro: “Ano binigay mo?”
Juan: ”Baraha.”

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Misis : “Darling,ano angtawag sa isang asawa na sexy, maganda, hindi selosa, mapagmahal, masipag, mapagkalinga, masarap magluto?”
Mister: “Guni-guni!”

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