SMS Jokes 10.22.08 (Wednesday)

May naka dinner date ako
may kulang0t near his lips, 
sinabi ko na Lang na…
“May kanin kA near lips”
dinilaan ba naman! 
at sabi..

Kaw talaga! Di naman kanin eh, KARNE..”

* * *

Pulubi sa bakery
Pulubi: “Pwede po makahingi ng cake?”
Tindera: “Ambisyoso! Cake pa ang hnihingi! O eto pandesal!”
Pulubi: “Haaaaleeeer!!! Birthday ko kAya!”

SMS courtesy of Jinky

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“Ang tagal na nating nagsama! Hindi naghiwalay! Natuto ka lang mag-mouthwash pinalayas mo na ako. Yabang mo!”Bad Breath (galit)

SMS courtesy of Pryss

* * *

Man and wife out on African safari when suddenly a lion came out and dragged wife with its jaw.

WIFE: “Shoot! Shoot!”
HUSBAND: “I cant! Wala na akong film!”

SMS courtesy of Pryss

* * *

ANAK: “Mommy, ang ganda ng bracelet mo. Bigay ba ni Daddy yan?”
MOM: ”Ay naku anak, kung sa Daddy mo lang ako aasa, baka pati ikaw e wala sa mundong to.”

SMS courtesy of Pryss

* * *

Magkaibigan kumakain..
PEDRO: “Ano palaman ng tinapay mo?”
JUAN: ”Kiso!”
Pedro: “Kiso? Ano ka b! Nakakahiya ka! Hindi yan kiso..
CHESS yan, CHESS!”

SMS courtesy of Pryss

* * *

Son to dying father:

Anak: “Itay, ano po ba ang gusto nyo, magpalibing ba o magpacremate?”
Ama: “Ikaw na ang bahala anak, i-surprise mo na lang ako!”

SMS courtesy of Pryss

* * *

B1: “Kaw raw ang nagsabi na itsura ko parang unggoy?”
B2: “Ha? Sabi ko, ang itsura ng unggoy, parang ikaw!”
B1: “Ganun ba? Ayusin mo kasi para walang gulo!”

SMS courtesy of Pryss

* * *

Boy: “Mahal m ba ko?”
Girl: ”Syempre naman, bf kta eh.”
Boy: “Wow loving!”
“Pa-jerjer ka naman!
Jer jer! Jer jer!”

SMS courtesy of Pryss

* * *

Panget na babae, hinoholdap.
Holdaper: ”Holdap to! Akina gamit mo!”
Babae: “RAPE! RAPE!”
Holdaper: “Anong rape? Holdap nga to e!”
Babae: “Nagsa-suggest lang.”

SMS courtesy of Pryss

* * *

If your ears itch,
someone is thinking of u.
If your eyes itch,
someone wants to see you.
If your lips itch,
sumone likes to kiss u.
If your body itches,
you better take a BATH!

SMS courtesy of Smythballs

* * *

The Philippines is over-populated because:
-ayaw ng birth control

-walang death penalty
-dami jobless kaya babad sa kama
-lagi lasing kaya akala
maganda misis!

SMS courtesy of Smythballs

* * *

Breaking News!

World Health Organizati0n Warning:

All men are advised not to suck Chinese girls’ breasts… As the milk may contain melamine !

SMS courtesy of Berns

* * *

Ano tawag
sa bagay
na my ulo
may buhok
may itlog
nilalaro
humhaba
pinapasok
at pag nagalit
naglalabas ng
laway?

E di titi!

Kala mo joke? Di na uso yun!

SMS courtesy of Wow_Kalabaw

* * *

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