The Court of Appeals has acquitted Daniel Smith of raping ‘Nicole’ In reversing his conviction, the court ruled, ‘What we see was the unfolding of a spontaneous, unplanned romantic episode with both parties carried away by their passions..’
In short, in ‘kanto boys” parlance, ‘Libog lang yan.’
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PAALALA:
Hangga’t maraming babae at lalaki sa mundo…
huwag mong isipin na nag-iisa ka lang sa buhay ng dyowa mo.
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‘Mahal kita at lahat gagawin ko para sayo!’
Asus, luma na yan,eto ang bago…
‘If you love somebody, give your body!’
Sabi nga nila, ‘Do you like me? Eat me, baby!’
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Girl went to a ‘dude ranch’ on a vacation. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wants a Western or English saddle. Girl asked what the difference was.
‘Well, one has a horn and the other doesn’t.!
‘Just get the one without the horn. I don’t think we’ll run into too much traffic here.’
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JUDGE: “Before we begin the trial, I have an announcement to make. The defense lawyer has paid me P150,000 to swing the case in his favor, and plaintiff’s lawyer has paid me P100,000 to rule in his favor. So in order to be fair, I am going t0 return the P50,000 to the defense. Ok, let’s proceed!”
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Two Polish guys are discussing one’s upcoming wedding..
“I’m not sure if my bride-to-be, is a virgin or not.”
His buddy replies, “Oh, there’s an easy test for that.
All you need is some red paint, some blue paint & a shovel.
You paint ur balls 1 red & 1 ball blue.
On ur honeymoon, if she laughs & says, “Those are d funniest balls I’ve ever seen!”, you hit her w/ d shovel & bury her!
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A man comes home and hears hard female noises, walks inside to find his wife on living room floor naked. Wife yells, ‘Help, help, I am having a heart attack!’ Man runs to the other room to call the doc when one of his kids run up to him and says, ‘Dad, Dad, there’s a naked man in the closet!’ Man opens the closet to find his friend Bob. He yells, ‘Bob, god damn it, my wife is having a heart attack and here you are scaring the kids!!!’
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BELLA: I know what you are…
EDWARD: Say it, say it aloud…
BELLA: Bading! Bading! Puro foundation ka sa mukha, tapos ngayon, may glitters ka pa sa katawan?!
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All above SMS Jokes courtesy of MIKE.
