MARUISM

Mister: kapag namtay ka, ipa2sulat ko sa nitso mo “MALAMIG NUNG BUHAY,MAS MALAMIG NUNG NAMATAY”
Misis: Gan0n? Kapag kaw ang namatay, sa nitso mo ipapalagay ko “SA WAKAS TUMIGAS DIN”..

SMS courtesy of wow kalabaw

* * * *

Kahit wala pang nanalo sa jackpot na 150 million ng Super Lotto 6/49, marami sa mga tumaya ang nagsabi na parang nanalo na rin sila sa jackpot nuong panuodin nila ang sex video ni Hayden at Katrina..!

* * * *

Balita ko active sex life mo now!
Nakakadalawa ka raw at your age…
isa sa TAG-ULAN, isa sa TAG-ARAW!
Pumunta ka sa U.S.A., apat ang seasons doon, makaka-apat ka!

* * * *

Hindi lahat ng videos nilabas na ni Hayden Kho. Yung samin ayaw pa nya ipakita.

–Aling Dionisia

~omg!

* * * *

Sa isang sosyaling salon:
GRETCHEN: “I want my hair dyed jet black, cut it short and then treat it with lots of keratin extracts.”
ALING DIONISIA: ” I want my hair dyed gold, curl it to the fullest level then implant 1 diamond at the tip of every strand.”
Taob!!!

* * * *

“Hindi ako salbahe, hindi ko lang ginagawa ang mga bagay na ginagawa ng mga mabait na tao.”:-)

* * * *

This guy goes to sperm bank to give a sample. So the girl at the front desk says to him, “Thank you for coming.”

* * * *

Ida the office blonde said that with all the new transplants they’re doing, she’d like to see about being a virgin again.
But sexy Sophie just laughed and said, “And where in hell do you think they’d find a donor?”

* * * *

A couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words, ’sex’ and ‘love.’
The woman wrote, ‘When two people love each other very much, like Bob and I, it is morally acceptable for them to engage in sex.’
And Bob wrote, ‘I love sex.’

* * * *

What is the new definition of Multi-Tasking?
Working at your computer typing emails while watching Victoria’s Secret Webcast “for research purposes, of course.”

* * * *

The minister was haranguing the congregation and carrying on and on about sin. “The wages of sin are high.” he bellowed.
A young man sitting in the back yelled, “Not if you can find someone who’ll do it for free.”

* * * *

In case you didn’t know..
Vaseline is often used for sex. In Norway, the parents put it on..
the doorknobs to keep the kids from opening the door…

* * * *

The average man’s life consists of 20 years having his mom ask him where is he going; 50 years of having his wife ask the same question; and at the end, the mourners wonder too.

* * * *

Boy: I realize this is just a formality but I want to ask for your daughter’s hand.
Girl’s Dad: Just where did you get the idea that this is just a formality?
Boy: From her OB-Gyne.

* * * *

MARKETING 101:
… If a man sees a girl and tells her that “I’m rich & I wanna marry you.” That’s DIRECT MARKETING.
… If a man approaches her friends & tells them he’s rich & he’ll marry her, that’s ADVERTISING.
… If he gets her cel & calls her, saying he’s rich & he’ll marry her, that’s TELEMARKETING.
… If she learns that he’s rich, & will marry him, that’s BRAND RECOGNITION.
… Finally, if a man talks to the gorgeous girl & tells her that he’s rich & will marry her & she slaps him, that’s CUSTOMER’S FEEDBACK.

* * * *

A romantic love is not a one-night-stand, nor a series of cumshots, it’s a long-term engagement between two private organs”the hearts…”

….kasama na rin yung iniisip mo! ü

 

* * ALL ABOVE SMS courtesy of MIKE

To receive this blogs articles for FREE on your email inbox, just enter your email address below and click 'Go': Delivered by FeedBurner