Binasura ng fiscal complaint ni Katrina Halili. She lied sa affidavit nya when she accused Hayden na binaboy sya coz when the video was reviewed, hindi naman sya binaboy. .. kinabayo sya!
* * * *
Bakit tinapunan si HAYDEN KHO ng tubig sa senado?
cause he’s SIZZLING HAWT!!!
* * * *
Mrs. Irene Kho appeared on TV Patrol, Monday night, to defend her son. She said, “Ang anak ko ang pinaglaruan. Ang anak ko ang tinatapakan.”
Apparently, she has not seen Hayden’s lewd videos. Otherwise, she would have said, “Ang anak ko ang dinadaganan. Ang anak ko kinakain. Ang anak ko inuupuan. Ang anak ko pinapatungan.”
* * * *
Judge: Ikaw na naman! Sampung taon ka nang humaharap sa korte ko ah!
Swindler: Your Honor, kasalanan ko ba kung hanggang ngayon ay di kayo napo-promote.
* * * *
Cherish things while you still have them, not when they’re gone.
One of the hardest things to deal with is REGRET.
So enjoy life habang may libog ka pa!
* * * *
Girl: Doc, meron po kong insomnia, di po ako makatulog.
Doc: try mong makipag sex gabi-gabi.
Girl: Makakatulong po ba un makatulog ako?
Doc: hindi, pero mag-e-enjoy mo ang insomnia mo!
* * * *
ARAB: tell me what u want, i give, but u marry me!
GIRL: u give house & lot?!
ARAB: Ok!
GIRL: bmw?
ARAB: i give!
GIRL: do u have 12 inch penis?
ARAB: (thinking) ok, for u i cut!
* * * *
Frank: Honey,bkt lumaki ang butas ng ilong mo?
Misis:D2 mo kc ipinasok ang TT mo kagabi!
Frank:Ha? Ba’t dka kumibo?
Msis:Kc nman nasa bunganga ko ang bayag mo no!
* * * *
PGMA and FG were at a baseball game. Suddenly FG grab PGMA by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field.
The stunned umpire shouted, “No, Sir! I said, ‘Throw the first PITCH!’”
* * * *
If Adam & Eve were Pinoys, they would not have committed the original sin.
Kakanin nila ang ahas at ibebenta na lang ang mansanas.ü
* * * *
Man: God, how long is a million years to you?
God: A second.
Man: How much is $1 billion to you?
God: A cent.
Man: Can I have a cent?
God: Just a second…
* * * *
Lola: paraahhh!!
Driver: bakit po?
Lola: iihi ako! (umutot)
Driver: sabi nyo iihi kayo, ba’t kayo umutot?
Lola: Totoy, wen der is rain, der is thunder!
* * * *
2010 Teams to beat:
Lacson-Biazon or Ping-Pong
De Castro-Mel Tiangco or Kabayan-Kapuso
Sotto-Sonny Osmena or Tito-Tita
* * * *
Judge: Ang hatol ko sa iyong pananampal ay multa ng P500.
Offender: Opo, may panukli po ba kayo sa P1000?
Judge: Wala! Sampalin mo na lang uli yang complainant!
* * * *
The secret of contentment is knowing how to enjoy what you have and to be able to lose all desires for things beyond your reach…
Don’t ask for more…
Tama na ang isang PUTOK!
* * * *
Sa panahon ngayon kailang maging maalaga ka sa katawan. Maingat sa mga pagkain. Nagiging cause ito ng sakit. Iwasan dn ang maging mainitin ang ulo. Bakamagkasakit sa puso o high blood ka.Minsan d mo napapansin na me diperensiya ka na dn. Hirap kang magbasa at masalita at nangingiwi bibig mo se pegbese ngmge text dehel me seket ke ne pele de me nepepensen ngewe ne bebeg me se pegbebese ng text. Engeten me serele me. Dehel beke mengewe den bebeg me.
* * * *
Titicons
(_) (_) tiny tits
(o) (o) regular tits
(O) (O) big tits
(@) (@) big harry tits
(‘) (‘) perky tits
{_} {_} shriveled tits
(,) (,) drippy tits
[_] [_] android tits
(#) (#) Tyson tits
* * * *
Mister: Kung hindi sa pera ko hindi ka makakatira sa ganitong kalaking bahay!
Misis: Hoy, kung di rin dahil sa pera mo wala rin ako rito!
* * * *
Q: Why are women so bad at math?
A: Because men keep telling them that this
|<———->|
is 12 inches.
* * * *
ALL ABOVE SMS courtesy of MIKE
