Hinoldap si Lumen. Pero dahil wais siya nilagay niya P500 sa panty kaya di nakuha.
Pero ng ibili nya sa SM, ayaw tanggapin… FAKE daw kasi nakalabas dila ni Ninoy.
* * * *
TRIVIA:
Bakit karamihan ng fastfood restos kulay pula at dilaw ang pintura?
McDo, Jollibee, Max’s, Chow King, Mr. Donut, Burger King…
Because the colors red and yellow are good stimuli for the apetite…
Ah, kaya pala ganun ang kulay ng SOGO…
* * * *
Kung ang Xavier School nagpo produce ng bsktbol players like, joseph yeo,t.y tang,chris tiu, magpapahuli ba ang Grace Christian? sympre hndi, carlo maceda, boldstar, hayden kho pornstar.
* * * *
A Chinese caught his wife and driver in 69 position.
The Chinese poked a gun at driver and said, “Kaya pala wala ako anak, ako lagay tamod, ikaw pala kain!”
* * * *
At the Buzz:
Boy-Hayden, hawak ko ngayon 5 panties from your collections. Can you identify ang owner sa bawat isa? Hayden-#1 kay Katrina, #2 kay Vicky, #3 kay Juday, #4 kay kim.
Boy-Paano mo na i-dentify ang owner?
Hayden-Kay katrina amoy yosi, kay Vicky, alcohol, kay Juday, ph care at ang kay Kim amoy whisper!
Boy-May logic ka diyan, pero how about #5? Di mo ba alam?
Hayden-Puede off the-air isabi ko? Hayden-kay Aling Dionesia!
* * * *
Q: Why are breasts located in the upper half of a woman’s body?
A: Because milk should be kept away from the pussy.
* * * *
A rough day for Pete. He woke up and wore his shirt, the button fell off.
He picked up his briefcase, the handle came off.
He pulls the door, the knob comes off.
Now he’s afraid to pee!
* * * *
PRIEST:All sinners wil b thrown n2 hell & der wil b gritting &gnashing of teeth.
JUAN:Wat abt dos ho hav no teeth?
PRIEST: GOD wil provide!
* ** *
SHOPOWNER: ma’am, this panty & bra will look nice on u.
LADY: how can u be sure?
SHOPOWNER: i’ve a diploma in interior designing.
* * * *
If the penis is hard & erect..
he needs a GOOD FUCK;
if it is erect but not hard..
he needs a GOOD SUCK;
if it is none of these..
he needs GOOD LUCK!
* * * *
Point of View:
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom while getting a raise.
* * * *
SINNER: 4give me Father 4 I have sinned. I viewed & sent d sexual videos of Hayden Kho thru my cellphone.
PRIEST: My child, pls 4ward ur sins to me. . .
* * * *
Hayden nd Belo aftr sex -
Belo: Whew! Dat was a gud fuck baby.
Hayden: I thnk u nid vaginal surgry mommy.
Belo: Why? Is it loose or tight?
Hayden: I think i left digicam inside!
* * * *
A newly wed told her Mom her husband was a virgin.
When her Mom asks how she knew, she replies, “Last night when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover.”
* * * ** * * *
Talagang pahirap nang pahirap ang buhay.
Presyo ng bilihin pataas nang pataas..
Panty at Brief na lang ang laging binababa..!
* * * *
Wana lose weight? Try the Italian pasta diet.
Walk pasta the cakeshop, walk pasta the ice cream parlor, walk pasta the buffet table. And make sure you walk pasta and pasta!
** * *
A robot than can catch thieves was tested in London. In 5 minutes, the robot nabbed 3 thieves.
In N.Y., the police tested it, and in 5 minutes, 20 thieves were caught.
They tested it in Manila, and in 2 minutes, the robot vanished!!!
* * * *
Alam ba ninyo na natatakot bumaba sa jeep ang mga babae sa kanto ng Gen. Tinio Street sa Caloocan City?
Kasi ang sigaw ng mga drayber ay, “O, yung mga bababa… Kanto Tinio Na!”
* * **
Man: Read that women are “insecure” about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.
Woman: Oh, yeah? Well, we can diet, have lipo, exercise, and even gets implants for all that. What can a man do about the one area that we all KNOW he feels insecure about?
* * * *
Babae: Father, nag-away kami ng asawa ko.
PARI: Lahat naman ng mag-asawa nag-aaway.
BABAE: Pero san ko po kaya pwede itago ang bangkay?!
* * * *
Chatting about sexiness aids.
Matron1: I’m getting my boobs lifted.
Matron2: I’m getting my asshole bleached!
Matron1: I can’t imagine your husband as a blonde!
* ** *
ANG MANI:
Pag puti ang laman, di luto yan.
Pag itim ang loob, bulok yan.
Pag may tubig sa loob yan, nilaga yan.
Pag basa sa labas,
NAKU!
PEK(X2) YAN! PEK(X2)!
* * * *
LOVE FACT:
“LIMERENCE” is a word coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, denoting an emotional and involuntary state, in which a person feels an intense passionate desire for another person of the opposite gender!
In Pilipino…
‘LIBOG!’:-D
* * * **
“PANDIWA”
Ang pandiwa ay isang hiwa na nasa pagitan ng dalawang hita na pinapasukan ng dimonyong batuta, nilalabasan ng puting gata na ang resulta ay pesteng bata….
* * * *
Nakakapagtaka lang bakit bago lahat ng gawain ay may dasal. Halimbawa, bago kumain, magbiyahe, magtrabaho, matulog at iba pa, pero bago mag-sex, bakit wala?
* * * *
A woman’s like a bucket of KFC…
because once you’re past the tender breasts and the juicy thighs…
all that’s left is a greasy wet box to put your bone in…
* * * * *
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ‘Guess’ on it.
So I said, “Implants?”
* ***
Nature gave men two heads…
one for multiplying and one for thinking…
Ever since then, man’s success or failure has been dependent on the one he uses the most!
* * * *
A boy go to bathroom in the middle of the night. As he passes his parents’ bedroom, he peeks through the keyhole and says, “Boy, and she gets mad at me for sucking my thumb!”
* * * *
Confucius says…
“If you think all men are created equal, you should see them naked and in full erection.” 
* * * *
What’s fashion designing?
Too many brains, with too many ideas working on too little pieces of cloth…
just to cover two little tits of a woman.
* * * * *
MR: alam mo, ako ang pinakamatapang sa kulungan!
MRS: Bakit naman?
MR: Nagpatatu ako sa bird.
MRS: Sus, yang pinatatu mo, kung pinatuli mo yan bibilib pa ako!
* * * *
Nagpahula si PGMA. Sabi ng manghuhula, “Maghanda ka na maging biyuda! Mapapatay ang iyong asawa.”
Tanong ni PGMA, “Maabsuwelto ba ako?”
* * * *
TRUTH ABOUT KISSING:
Do you know that the scientific name of kissing is Philematology. The scientific way to describe it is the anatomical juxtaposition of two orbicularis oris muscle in a state of contraction. You burn 26 calories in one-minute kiss. It’s a great cardiovascular workout because you release adrenaline into the bloodstream and your heart pumps more blood into the body. See? Di naman puro sex lang noh!!!
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