Boy: ganito po buhay samen, wlang makain, wlang pambili ng gamot..
Mar Roxas: anak, itabi mo..
AKO PAPADYAK, PUNTA TAYO SA MAKATi,
DOON..
LAHAT LiBRE!!
* * * *
TANONG: Anong kasinungalingan ang pinakamalapit sa katotohanan?
SAGOT: Ang babies sa puwet lumalabas! Di ba ang lapit, half inch lang e ‘KATOTOHANAN’ na! Agree!
* * * *
Three engineering students discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, “It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints.”
Another said, “No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system many thousands of electrical connections.”
The last said, “Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreation area.”
* * * *
Booba: Doc, palagay ko puno ng tubig ang boobs ko!
Doc: Bakit mo naman nasabi yon?
Booba: Kasi, tuwing pinipisil ng boyfriend ko, nag-babasa ang panty ko!
* * * *
A man asked a rabbi if sex is work or play.
“It must be play.” the rabbi replied. “If it were work, my wife would have ask our maid to do it.”
* * * *
What’s common between the sun and a woman’s underwear?
1. Both are hot.
2. Both look better while going down.
3. Both disappear by night!
* * * *
A 90 year old guy whips back the bed covers one morning with a big hard on.
“What do you think about this, honey?” he asks his wife.
“Now,” she says, “that you have the wrinkles out of it, why don’t you wash it?”
* * * *
In a jungle, d lion banned d use of condom by all the animals because the jungle needs to increase its population.
One day, the fox saw the donkey wearing a condom,& reported it to the lion.
When confronted by d lion, d donkey explained, “That’s not a condom. It’s
a snake giving me a blow job!”
* * * *
At a sperm bank…
Men were lined up to donate sperm cells. A woman entered and followed the line.
A man asked, “Lady, do you know where you are?”
The woman replied, “Umumum” pointing at her mouth.
* * * *
Alam mo sa panahong ito bihira na ung may matalik na kaibigan..
..mas madalas ay “katalik na kaibigan.”
hahaha! Pambihirang pagkakaibiganan yan..!
* * * *
Do you know why Mom-in-law and daughter-in-law never get along?
Well, Mom spent 5 years training her son how to wear underwear. But wife strips it down in 5 seconds!
* * * *
Nanay: Musta na date mo anak, epektib ba payo ko, siling labuyo sa nipples mo para di ka galawin ng bf mo?
Dalaga: Hay naku, nay, palpak! bicolano pa la bf ko, lalong ginanahan!
* * * *
Ano ang pinakamainit na bahagi ng katawan ng babae?
¤
¤
¤
SINGIT!!! Bakit? Kasi sa sobrang init nagkakaroon ng BIYAK!!!
* * * *
Pwede bang tawaging ‘finger food’ ang kwan ng babae?
?
?
?
oo naman, kasi pini-pinger yun tsaka kinakain di ba?
* * * *
Girl went to her friend’s place to tell her horrible experience she’d had with a bloke she brought home.
Friend: Well, what happened when you got there?
Girl: The bastard called me a slut!
Friend: (shocked) And what did you do then?
Girl: I told him to get the fuck out of my bedroom and take his eight mates with him!
* * * *
Wife: (complains while ironing husband’s pants.) What will happen to men if there’s no women in this world?
Husband: If there’s no women in this world, we don’t need to wear pants.
* * * *
May tip ako…
para humaba ang buhay,
kumain palagi ng gulay!
May kilala ako na mahilig sa gulay,
103 years old na, buhay pa!
Kaya lang…
gulay na!
* * * *
An elevator is so full, it’s nearly bursting. One passenger feels irritated at the fat lady behind him who keeps pushing him forward. He complains to her, “Would you please stop pushing me?” Fat lady replies, “I’m not pushing you, I’m only breathing.”
* * * *
Guy1: I’m a walking economy.
Guy2: How’s that?
Guy1: My hairline is in recession, my stomach is on inflation, & my organ is in deep depression.
* * * *
Girl1: Ayoko na sa BF ko. Ngayon ko lang nalaman ang tunay niyang pagkatao at nandidiri ako.
Girl2: Bakit naman?
Girl1: Isipin mo ba naman na usisain ako kung sino-sino ang mga naging BF ko bago sya?
Girl2: Iyon lang pala eh. Anong masama dun?
Girl1: Anong masama? Eh ba bigla naman akong pinagmumura dahil ako raw pala ang nang-agaw ng mga BF nya!
* * * *
SIGN IN A BAR:
“If you are drinking to forget…
please pay in advance.” 
* * * *
ALL ABOVE SMS courtesy of MIKE
now i can ask my bf if he wants a finger food… =D
Reply
mamaru… nag boblog na nga pala ako, nainspire ako sau eh. pero hindi ako ganun kagaling magsulat. masyado nga personal eh. aun. daan ka ha… shynyrd.wordpress.com
tnx…
Reply
MARU
reply on June 24th, 2009 6:40 am:
huwaw shea! welkam to blogosphere! nakow, tuloy mo lang yang pagbo blog…wag mo masyado intindihin ang mga mambabasa mo at ang importante eh may napagbubuhusan ka ng pinagkaka interesan mo. tsaka libre naman yan di ba?
Sige bibisita ako dun at link kita.
Reply