A guy goes to bar and told bartender to give him 6 double whiskies. Barman said, “Wow, you must have had one hell of a day.” Man replied, “Yeah, I found out my oldest son is gay.”
Next day, man was back and asked for same drinks and told the barman, “Just found out my youngest son is gay too.”
On the 3rd day, man came again to the bar ordering another double whiskies. Bartender asked, “Jesus, doesn’t anyone in your family like broads?”
The man shook head and replied, “Yeah, my wife!”
* * * *
A dying Mafia don called for his grandson.
“Grandson, I wanna you lissin to me. I wanna for you to take my chrome plated Colt .45 so you will always remember me.”
“But grandpa, I really don’t like guns… how about leaving me your Rolex instead,” the grandson replied.
The don gets a bit pissed off and hissays, “You lissin to me. Somma day you gonna be runna da biznes, you gonna have beautiful wife, lotsa money, big home and maybe a couple of bambini. Right?”
“I guess so, grandpops.”
“OK, soma day you gonna coma home and maybe finda wife in bed with another man. Whada you gonna do then? Point to da watch and say… TIMES UP?”
* * * *
One woman says to another, “I can’t understand why you haven’t gone to see that new gynecologist yet!”
“Mine is just fine. I don’t need to change.”
“But the new one’s so young and handsome, while your gynecologist is so old.”
“Yeah, I know. His hands shake all the time!”
