SMS Jokes 08.23.09 (Sunday)

SOSYAL, BUMILI NG ICEWATER:
GIRL: can i buy?
TINDERA: ano po un?
GIRL: mineral water, yung nasa sachet.

SMS Joke courtesy of wow_kalabaw

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Thought For Today:

Gaano man kalalim ang ilog, dagat, o karagatan, lagi mo sanang tatandaan,
hanggang dibdib lang ng duck yan.

SMS Jokes courtesy of Zai-zai

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LOLO: ano kaya ibalik natin ang nakaraan nung bago pa lang tayo magshota?
LOLA: o cge
LOLO: cge bukas dun tyo mgkita sa dati nating tag-puan ha!
LOLA: oo hintayin mo na lang ako dun

Naghintay si lolo sa my tabing ilog dala ang 3 rosas w/ chocolate. Maghapon si lolo nghintay ngunit walang dumating. Kaya umuwi ns lang sya. Pgdating sa bahay nadatnan si lola nakahiga at tumatawa.

LOLO: bakit di mo ko sinipot?
LOLA: di ako pinayagan ni mommy eh!

Above SMS Jokes courtesy of Zai-zai

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Papagawa si Manny Pacquiao ng school, PACQUIAO UNIVERSITY, in short, PAC U.
Eh ano naman ang tawag sa mga students?
Eh di PAC-kers!

* * * *

Wife mad at drunk husband said, “From now on, lips that touch liquor will never touch mine…” A bit later she asked, “What are you thinking?”

Husband replies, “Trying to decide between 12 year old Scotch and 50 year old lips!”

* * * *

In a seminar, attendees were required to draw an animal to describe their character. The attendees drew their favorite animal like dogs, cats, carabaos,tigers, etc. A participant was called by the coordinator why he drew a woman’s face. He replied: “Asawa ko yan Ma’am, talagang ANIMAL yan.”

* * * *

Pansinin mo:
Ang taong BOLERO, masarap ka-text.
Ang taong TAHIMIK, maurirat ka-text.
Ang TWO-TIMER, sweet sa text.
Ang taong STICK TO ONE, matipid sa text.
Ang taong CUTE, ayan pa basa basa lang ng text na ‘to.

* * * *

Without a doubt … women are the foundation stones of our society … But … you must always remember… foundations HAVE TO BE LAID!

* * * *

D0ct0r teaching med students..
Dr: First thing u must learn is to rem0ve your fear.
(he insertd his finger in d anus 0f the c0rpse & licked it)
Dr: n0w you d0 it
(old students did as the d0c had afterwards)
Dr: Next is that you must be very 0bservant. H0w many 0f you n0ticed that I put my middle finger but licked my index finger?

* * * *

A jobless pinoy in the U.S. finally got a job in the zoo, playing the part of a gorilla. Everyday he delighted the crowd with his twisting & turning. One day, he slipped & fell in the lion’s cage. He screamed, “Help! Get me out of here!” The lion quickly pounced on him & said, “Tumahimik ka! Matanggal tayo sa trabaho!”

* * * *

B0Y: you are like the sun to me, because you give me light
GIRL: aww, so sweet. well, to me you are like the rain,
B0Y: why?
GIRL: because you make me wet!

* * * *

A barber gave a free haircut to a German. The next day, he found frankfurters at his door.
He gave a free haircut to a Japanese, & found a bottle of saki the next day.
He gave a free haircut to a Filipino, & what did he find the next day?
A line of 10 Filipinos waiting for a free haircut!

* * * *

Rest of the above SMS courtesy of MIKE

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