Kumpisal:
Forgive me Father for i hav sinned. I lied, nagsusugal, nambabae, nagnakaw!
Pari: Erap, akala ko reformed ka na!
Sagot..Di po, si Mike Arroyo na po ito!
* * * *
Husband and wife having dinner.
WIFE: Darling, tell me something that would make me both happy and sad.
HUSBAND: Your nipples are better than your sister’s.
* * * *
MANAGER: Siya ang bago kung talent.
PRODUCER: Maganda!
MANAGER: Makabangong Cinderella yan!
PRODUCER: Di ba si Cinderella nawawala ang sapatos paggabi?
MANAGER: Oo, siya naman panty nawawala!
* * * *
Two women are standing in front of a zoo’s gorilla cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets an invitation.
He yanks her over the fence & takes her to his nest where he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for 2 hours till he is tranquilized, & the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend, concerned, visits her next day, “Are you hurt?”
She replies, “Of course, I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
* * * *
BABALA sa lahat na di kumakain ng meat, taba, di nagpupuyat, di nag kakape, di umiinom!
Balang araw mawawala ka ng mga KAIBIGAN. PATAY NA KAMING LAHAT, BUHAY KA PA!
* * * *
Gma to Noli De Castro “malakas ka sa Survey”, kaya gawin kita Standard Bearer ng “La Cash Party” Eto One Billion Pesos para mag CASH-Sundo Tayo, ha ? Ok bä.
* * * *
BAYANG PINAS: darling, akala ko ba, mahal mo ako…
PGMA: oo nga! handa akong mamatay alang-alang sayo.
BAYANG PINAS: sus! puro ka naman satsat, hindi mo naman ginagawa!
* * * *
MOK: pupunta daw dito ang mga kaklase ng Mrs.
PEK: mga B. I. R. yun.
MOK: huh? Bureau of Internal Revenue?
PEK: Hindi. Mga Babaeng Inubusan na ng Regla.
* * * *
All hotel rooms were occupied, a guy pleaded for bedspace for the night…
HOTEL MGR.: I got a room with 2 beds. Its occupied by a sailor who snores very loudly but will be happy to split the bill with you.
MAN: Il take it!
(The next morning, the tourist looked fresh and smiling..)
MGR: How wer you able to sleep so well?
MAN: He was already asleep and snoring when I came in. I went over, kissd him and said, ‘gudnyt handsome.’ He sat up all night watching me!
* * * *
Son, looking at pretty girl on arms of old man..
Son:”Dad, why s she called a mistress?”
Dad:”Because with her, u will..
..MiSS STRESS.”
* * * *
ALL Above SMS courtesy of MIKE
