M A R U I S M

Archive for 16 August, 2009

MARU | 16 August, 2009

Sunday SMS Jokes From Mike

Gloria: Tita Cory, anu ba dapat ko gawin para mahalin ako ng mga Pilipino, para matapos na ang kaguluhan sa bansa?
Cory: Sumama ka sa akin!

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“A 21 gun salute will also be given to Gloria once she dies. But all guns will be aimed at her casket to make sure she stays dead.”

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With her $20,000 feast in New York and $17,000 dinner in DC, PGMA has shown the world the Filipino is worth dining for.:> hindi man lamang nasamid o na choke?

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Erap: Bilib ako dito sa Dept Store, pag di mo kursunada ang nabili mo ,puede isauli, walang charges!
Mayor: Mas magaling dito sa ospital na ito, pag di mo nakursunadahan ang serbisyo, ibabalik ang sakit mo!

MARU | 15 August, 2009

One comment

Weekend SMS Jokes From Wow_Kalabaw

Pacquiao: Doc, gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doc: (nagulat!)
Pacquiao: breast sa ngepen, para umayos yung ngepen ko..

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Teenager: lola, papunta lang kami sa tipar.
Lola: anong tipar?
Teenager: party
Lola: puro salitang kalye alam nyo! mga p.s. kayo!
Teenager: anong p.s. lola?
Lola: pakin syet!

Category: August 2009, HUMOR, SMS Jokes 2009 | Tags: Green Jokes, jokes, lafftrip, Pinoy Jokes, SMS Jokes

MARU | 12 August, 2009

16 comments

Si MJ At Ang Tunay Na Kagandahan

Nagbasa-basa ako kanina ng online news sa Yahoo nang maalala ko na naman si Michael Jackson.

Napakasikat nya sa buong mundo dahil sa galing sa pagkanta at siempre sa pagsayaw. Nakakalungkot lang isipin na noong nabubuhay pa sya… eh praning sya. Nasabi ko ‘to dahil hindi naman sekreto na halos hindi sya magkandatuto noon kung ano gagawin sa mukha at kulay nya, di ba?

Category: PEOPLE and POLITICS, Personal Thoughts | Tags: beauty, external beauty, inner beauty, michael jackson

MARU | 10 August, 2009

One comment

Dapat Lang Na I-Clap Clap!

Bago ang lahat…

Ako lang ang luma.

Asus! Gasgas na ang intro ko.

Grabeeeeee! Ang tagal din bago ko nai-angat ang sarili ko na magka-gana para chumika ulit dito sa blog ko. Eh kasi naman…grabe naman yung nagdaan na week. Mula ng namayapa si Tita Cory ay araw-araw na lang yata din na tumutulo ang luha ko tuwing napapanood ang tv coverage ng funeral nya. Bentang-benta sa akin ang mga paggaralgal ng boses ni Kris tuwing ini-interview at sa mga pamamaalam nya sa nanay nya. Hayss… todo-crayola talaga si Mamaru.

Nways, kahit alam ko na purgang-purga na kayo sa kwentuhan ng tungkol sa lamay at libing ni Tita Cory…bago mahuli ang lahat, gusto ko lang din ibulalas (ibulalas daw o’) ang paghanga ko dun sa apat na gwardya na naging tuod ng mahigit sa walong oras na nakatayo habang nagpo-prosesyon.

Category: PEOPLE and POLITICS, Personal Thoughts | Tags: Corazon C. Aquino funeral, honor guards, Tita Cory

MARU | 7 August, 2009

3 comments

SMS Jokes 08.07.09 (Friday)

BLACK PROPAGANDA ANG KINAKALAT NG OPOSISYON NA BINASTOS SI PGMA SA MANILA CATHEDRAL

Maayos naman daw ang pagdalaw ni PGMA sa Cathedral. Sinalubong syang mga kaanak led by Joshua & Baby James.

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Jamby Madrigal will run for president in 2010. In case, she wins, she vows to double the budget of PCGG…to fast track the recovery of her wealth from her relatives!

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Aling Dionisia called Manny in LAS VEGAS…
Aling Dionisia: helo operitor i want to mik very very far away col
Operator: Wats youur name?
Aling Dionisia: i’m dionesia pacquiao
Operator: Spell ur surname
Aling Dionisia:
P as in papa
A as in epol
C as in Sicily
Q as in cuba
U as in me
I as in eyebrow
A as in epol agen
O as in august
Now u know…
Operator: Come Again?
Aling Dionisia: U dont understand me? im d mader of d fam0s boksir! Yur so patitic..niver mind…ill enterneth na lang!

Category: August 2009, HUMOR, SMS Jokes 2009 | Tags: Green Jokes, jokes, Pinoy Jokes, SMS Jokes

MARU | 6 August, 2009

8 comments

Sex Trivia

How much sex trivia have you heard? Here are some strange things about sex that might be of interest.

Male doctors in Bahrain can examine women’s genitals, but are limited to look at them only through their reflection on mirrors.

The word "sex" was coined in 1932.

Francis I of France once said, "Anyone who doesn’t have a mistress is a nincompoop."

Foreplay usually lasts from 14 to 17 minutes.

The missionary position was the favorite sexual position of both modern Europeans and ancient Romans.

For most Americans, summer is the season for losing their virginity, particularly in June.

Neutering a cat extends its life span by two or three years.

Think ostrich eggs are huge? Apparently, sharks lay the world’s largest reproductive eggs.

Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world.
Apparently, Anne Rice’s version of Sleeping Beauty is not the first sexualized imagination of the tale. In the original fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty, the Prince rapes her while she sleeps and then leaves before she wakes up.

**Sources: The Lilith Gallery of Toronto, New York Erotica, and Cosmopolitan Magazine

Category: GENERAL | Tags: sex, sex trivia

MARU | 6 August, 2009

One comment

SMS Jokes 08.06.09 – (Thursday)

Boy: Baril ka ba?
Girl: ‘Lam ko na yan kasi mukhang tinamaan ka sakin noh?
Boy: Hinde! Ang lakas kasi ng PUTOK mo!

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BAGONG BUGTONG
-isang bAkLita nakaupo sa papa. (lapt0p)
-mahaBa’t matiGas nang isub0′y kumatas. (ice cAndy)
-malaki at maumb0k, hinihimas bago pumas0k. (do0r kn0b)
-malapad sa paninGin, masarap pindUtin. (i-ph0ne)
-ibuka at hiGupin sungkitin bago kainin. (talaba)
-ipinasok na lambUtin, matiGas nang hugUtin. (yelo)

Category: August 2009, HUMOR, SMS Jokes 2009 | Tags: Green Jokes, jokes, Pinoy Jokes, SMS Jokes

MARU | 1 August, 2009

20 comments

Salamat, Tita Cory

cory-aquino

Aminado ako, yung late nanay ko never liked her. In fact she hated Cory so much. Lol. Ino-off agad ni mader ang TV noon tuwing nakikita nya si Cory. Obyusli, masasabi kong hindi close si mader ko at si Cory. Hehe!

Well, nagkataon lang na loyalista ang nanay ko sa mga Marcos. Siguro kung si Marcos noon ay isang relihiyon, malamang una sa pila para magpa-convert ang dakilang ina ko sa sobrang fan ni Marcos.