* * * *
PGMA: Father, everyone thinks I’m a liar.
Priest: Really?… I don’t believe in you!
* * * *
S0meone 0ut there is deadly in scrabble. When u rearrange the letters, new w0rd will c0me up:
GL0RIA
bec0mes, G0 LIAR;
MIGUEL TUAS0N ARR0Y0
bec0mes,
AM REAL N0T0RI0US GUY.
* * * *
The Pope and GMA are on d same stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope said, ‘Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand i can make every person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your constituents, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice.’
GMA seriously doubts this and says, ‘one little wave of your hand, and all people wil rejoice forever?? Show me!’
So the Pope slapped her!
* * * *
If Sharon is MEGASTAR, Nora is SUPERSTAR & Vilma is STAR FOR ALL SEASONS, how is GMA called?
TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR!
* * * *
Controversial director Carlo J. Caparas is reportedly running for senator in 2010. Asked about his major qualification, he replied, “Mas marami akong alam na English words kaysa kay Lito Lapid.”
* * * *
An ugly man looking for love sent his pic to the Lonely Hearts Club.
The reply came back immediately, “We are not that lonely!”
* * * *
“Wag magmadali sa babae o lalake.
Tatlo, lima, sampung taon, mag-iiba ang pamantayan mo at maiisip mong di pala tamang pumili ng kapareha dahil lang maganda o nakaka-’L’ ito.
Totoong mas importante ang kalooban ng tao higit anuman. Sa paglipas ng panahon, maging ang mga crush ng bayan magmumuka ding pandesal, maniwala ka.” - Bob Ong-
* * * *
Mga uri ng pabango ng babae.
Dalaga: GUCCI
Bagong kasal: BVLGARI
Matagal ng kasal: SWEETHONESTY
Matandang dalaga: GREEN CROSS
Gurang: TIGER BALM
* * * *
A man drove his girlfriend to a quiet country road & made his move. When the girl responded to his kiss, he slid his hand up her blouse. She jerked away and ran home. She wrote in her diary, “a girl’s best friend are her 2 legs.”
On their next date, the man went back to the country road. As they kissed, he slid his hand up the girl’s skirt. Again she bolted home & wrote, “a girl’s best friend are her 2 legs.”
On the 3rd date, the girl didn’t get home till 8 pm. In her diary, she wrote, “there comes a time when even best friends must part.”
* * * *
kapag bilugan ang mukha mo, wag ka masyado mag-ngingiti…
baka mapagkamalan kang YAHOO MESSENGER!
* * * *
During a shower for the bride, the married women were giving tips on the do’s and don’ts of sexual intercourse, when the bride suddenly asked, “Hindi ba kasama yung betlog sa pinapasok?”
* * * *
Ang sex
parang alak.
Mapait sa simula
pero masarap
na pag tumagal.
Ang pagkakaiba
pag naubos
ang alak
makabibili ka.
Ang sex
pag nawala
SENIOR CITIZEN KA NA!
* * * *
Watching a bold show, a judge and a lawyer bet on who can have an erection first. Lawyer saw judge fondling dick…
Lawyer: Objection! You’re coaching the witness!
Judge: Overruled! I was just refreshing the witness’ memory!
* * * *
A man goes to burger stand & asks for a burger. The waitress takes the frozen patties & sticks them under her arm.
The man asks, “What the heck are you doing?”
She replies, “I’m defrosting them!”
Other guy at the counter says, “In that case, you can cancel my freaking hotdog!”
* * * *
ALL of the ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE.
joke lang .-= zaizai´s...
