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2001: Kay Gloria, gaganda ang ekonomiya!
2004: Ccgla ang ating agrikultura! Dadami bigas!
2005: Aangkat tayo ng bigas para mas marami!
2006: Mahal at imported, pila tayo. Sa NFA mura lang!
2007: Para makatipid sa bigas, haluin natin ng kamoteng kahoy.
2008: Mahal na sa NFA, ma22 tyo kumain lang ng kamoteng kahoy.
2009: Mahal na kamoteng kahoy, ma22 tyo kumain na lang kahoy.
2010: I am sorry…
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PROPOSED CAMPAIGN SLOGANS:
Villar: Akala mo sipag at tiyaga!
Noynoy: Dugong Bayani!
Recto: Ko Recto!
Sonny Osmena: Ang ganda ng lola moh!
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NEWS-FLASH!!! .. inggit na inggit si Mikey kay Noynoy .. wish niya na ma-assasinate daddy niya at mamatay sa cancer mommy niya para ma-endorse siyang Presidente!
MIKEY for PRESIDENT!!!
.. gather 10 million signatures for his wish – pls pass to 12 of ur intelligent frends .. do not break d chain!
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Q: Why did Noynoy have to pray for discernment even after Mar withdrew from the presidential derby?
A: Because in their meetings, Mar said package deal ang FIRST LADY.
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”ang buhay ay isang sugal, kailangang handa kang mawalan kung gusto mong magkaroon…”-mahj-ONG
-”matuto kang maghirap at magtrabaho, hindi lahat ng oras nasa taas ka…” -gul-ONG
-”ang lahat ay may katapusan, hindi maibabalik ng mga luha mo ang dati nang nawala…”-kaba-ONG
“kaya mo mang pr0tektahan ang mahaLaga sau, sinu naman ang poprotekta sau?”-bub-ONG
“ewan ko senyo,.”-bob ONG
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“In fairness, GMA is the BEaST prisedent..”
-Manny Pacquiao speaking…
How prophetic ba? 
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Langis ng niyog ang gamit na ilaw sa isang baryo. Nang nasa kuwarto na ang mga bagong kasal namatay ang ilaw. Sigaw ng bagong kasal na babae, “‘Nay, langis nga!” Sagot naman ng nanay, “Langis ka dyan! Kami nga ng tatay mo eh…
“LAWAY LANG!”
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Woman: Taga Census po sir, sino po ba ang decision-maker sa inyo?
Husband: Dear, sino ba nagde-desisyon dito sa bahay?
Wife: Syempre ikaw
Husband: Ako daw po.
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Necklace na bigay ni mister, pinagyayabang-
MISIS 1: He was forced to buy it for me kasi nahuli ko siyang nakapatong sa maid namin.
MISIS 2- Terrible!Pinalayas mo na yang maid mo?
MISIS 1- Di pa. Gusto ko pa ng matching earrings, eh. Balak ko pa nga magdagdag ng maid, eh!
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“Ang tunay na kagandahan at kaguapuhan ay
di nakikita sa
pisikal na anyo
ng isang tao
kundi nasa PUSO”
Yan ang paniwala ng mga panget!
Tayo quiet lang!
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How to say ‘I Love U’ In Different Languages:
Spanish – Te amo.
French – Je t’aime.
German – Ich liebe dich.
Japanese – Ai shite imasu.
Italian – Ti amo.
Chinese – Wa ai ni
Swedish – Jag alskar dig.
South U. S. – Nice chest!
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Q: Why did God gave men dicks?
A: So they have at least one way to shut women up..
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Love and Beer are equal…
because once you have had too much, you begin to act stupid…
So why break your heart! Have a BEER instead!
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Today’s Quote:
“My Dick is so small if I got circumcized, I’d have a scab on my ass…
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Isang medicine student pumasok sa klase na gusot-gusot ang uniform nya. Sabi ng classmates nya, “‘Tol, may IRON deficiency ka!”
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Speaking at a staff meeting, a very pert and pretty female engineer told the male manager of the division, “I’d like to get something off of my chest.”
“What’s that?”
“Your eyes.”
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Playboy contacted a rare VD, went to see doctor.
DR: we’ve got to cut your thing off!
Playboy then went to other doctor for 2nd opinion. He was told dsame thing.
Playboy decided to see a Chinese Herbal Doctor, he told him what d other doctors said.
Chinese DR: hmm.. Trouble with these doctors, they always think money, money, money.
PLAYBOY: really?!
CHINESE DR: yes! You wait 2 to 3 weeks. Your thing will fall off all by itself.
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A little girl asks her dad, “Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time?”
And he replies, “No, there’s a whole series of ‘em that begin with ‘If elected I promise…’”
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Which is more addictive?
DRUGS or SEX?
99 out of 100 women respondents replied:
“it depends on the pusher.”
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A New Medical Fact:
The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy.
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All of the above SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE
