Mama: Oh anak, musta ang 1st date nyo ng boyfrend mo?
Anak: ok lng ma. Sinusulat ko nga sa diary ko ngayun eh. ..Ay ma! Ano nga ung past tense ng virgin?
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CONFIRMED: Matatalo si PACQUIAO sa next fight niya dahil ang ginamit niyang shampoo ay Head & Shoulder laban sa dandruff. Nalimutan niya na COTTO pala ang kalaban nya at hindi dandruff!
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Boy: fetus ka ba?
girl: bakit? dahil cute ako?
boy: hindi. mukha ka kasing pinalaglag. Kumapit kapa!
All above SMS Jokes courtesy of Wow_Kalabaw
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boy: lam mo ba ibat’ibang view? 
girl: oo, may topview, sideview, frontview, rearview.. ano pa ba?
boy: loview..ü
Above SMS courtsey of Joan
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A naive sailor meets a wild girl at a bar and took him upstairs. She took off her dress and undies. He looks between her legs and asks, “What’s that?”
She replies, “It’s my lower mouth, it’s got a moustache…it’s got lips.” He asks again, “Has it a tongue in it?”
“Not yet..” she answers back.
* * * * *
Imagine a gay coaching a basketball team…
“keber sa mga chakang julaban, just focus. We cannot afford to luz valdez. Getlakin nio yung last free throw. Windangin yung mga chenes na julaban. Kailangan malorka sila ha! Kabugin ang mga itey! Go for the goldilacks to the highest level mga chorva! Shala tayu compared sa kanila.Gowlalu mga frendships! Make ur mama proud! O tara, group hug na!”
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Ang pagmamahal daw ay iniisip, nararamdaman at tumatalab.
Iniisip ng utak, nararamdaman ng puso, at tumatalab pag nararamdaman na ng babae ang etits ng lalaki.
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Characteristics of Presidentiables:
CHIZ- doble kara
VILLAR- doble kalye
ERAP- doble hirap
MAR & JAMBY- double gender
LOREN- double lover
PING- double murder?
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Woman met her gynecologist in a party & asked him, “Doc, do you recognize me?”
The doc replied, “I’m very sorry ma’am, I don’t recognize my patient by their faces.”
* * * * *
A guy picks up a girl for a date.
GUY: Why are you wearing your belt around your knee?
GIRL: I promised my mom that I wouldn’t let you touch me below the belt.
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A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her passing B.Ed (Bachelor of Education) Exams, which the father receives as, “Father, your daughter has been successful in BED.”
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On hearing Sen. Ping’s bombshell last Monday, Erap said, “Gago ba siya? Hindi ako takot sa bombshell. Hindi ako takot sa kahit anong klaseng babae!!”
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ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE
