Alam mo ba kung paano nabuking ni Jinky sina Manny at Krista?
During the fight, Jinky joined the fans cheering “pacman! pacman!”
Krista also cheered”pacme! pacme!”
* * * * *
Erap kumuha ng NBI clearance…
NBI: Sir, paki buo po yung ‘M’ na sinulat ninyo sa ‘Marital Status’ ninyo.
Erap, medyo inis, pero sumunod din at bumulong, “Kilala naman nila ako ah. Simple lang sagot nito … ‘MANY.’”
* * * * *
During sex, the gal asks repeatedly, “Do you love me, do you really love me?”
Irritated by this, the guy replies, “What the hell do you think I am doing? Push-ups?!?!
* * * * *
Unmarried girl got pregnant, went to insurance company for claim.
OFFICER: Your policy covers sickness & accident, not pregnancy!!
GIRL: It was an accident.
* * * * *
Taking a cue from the recent tax legislation, a call girl now charges extra for anal entry…
She calls it “turn over” tax.
* * * * *
Dona Buding:
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.
I told them to get lost!!!
Anybody who fits into my clothes isn’t starving!!
* * * * *
Love is not measured by HUGGING, KISSING and SEX.
It’s all about Trusting, Respecting, and Accepting a person with OPEN LEGS,CLOSED EYES and WET LIPS, and
saying “PUSH IT SOME MORE!
* * * * *
A handsome patient was a bit hungry and asks a nurse for milk.
She opens her top and puts her nipples in his mouth.
He remarked, “Thank God, I didn’t ask for water!!!”
* * * * *
Euphemisms for Impotence:
1. 180 degrees shy of heaven.
2. Ascension deficit disorder.
3. Bouncing check of love.
4. Serving boneless pork.
5. Unleavened Man-Bread.
* * * * *
There is a small gap between CONFIDENCE and OVER CONFIDENCE.
YOU can fuck your girlfriend is CONFIDENCE.
ONLY YOU can fuck your girlfriend is OVER CONFIDENCE.
* * * * *
Short skirts have a tendency to make
men polite.
Have you ever seen men get on a bus ahead of one? O di ba?
* * * * *
During a bridal shower party, the married women were giving tips on the do’s and don’ts of sexual intercourse when the soon-to-be bride asks, “Hindi ba kasama yung betlog sa pinapasok?”
* * * * *
In a demanding voice, Noah said there will be no sex while on board. “All males are to take off ur penis and hand it to my sons who will write you a receipt. After we see land, you’ll get ur penis back.”
After a week, Mr. Rabbit excitedly went into his wife’s cage. “Quick!” he said, “get on my shoulders and look out if there’s any land out there!” She got into his shoulders and looked out but didn’t see any land yet.
This went on every day till Mrs. Rabbit got fed up and asks Mr. Rabbit why he acted so excited every day.
“Look!” Mr. Rabbit with a sly expression, as he held out a piece of paper, “I GOT THE HORSE’S RECEIPT!”
* * * * *
TODAY’S QUOTE:
“Girls, just to let you know…
if you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.”
* * * * *
ALL OF THE ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE
