SMS Jokes 22

GIRL1: Nakipaghiwalay na ko sa boyfriend ko.
GIRL2: Bakit ka naki pag-break?
GIRL1: Gago talaga yon. Maganda at sexy daw ako sabay patay nung ilaw.

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Woman at 18 is lyk a football where 22 men run after her..
at 28,she is lyk a basketball,where 10 men run after her..
at 38,she is lyk a golf ball where 1man is after her..
and at 48 she’s lyk a tennis ball,where 2 men are pushing her to the other..

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A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman. He asks, “Can I have a dozen condoms, Miss?”
“Don’t Miss me, mister.”
“Well, then, you better make it thirteen.”

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Food Fete

Whenever I hear the word Christmas, one scenario that immediately comes to my mind is that there will be super-rich foods, irresistible delicacies and limitless drinks in friends and family reunions. There will be round of parties for sure. Well, to those weight and body conscious, need for appetite suppressant? Because Christmas, it is the time of the year where most people usually gain weight.

It Is Inevitable

It is common knowledge that wrinkles will develop as we age. I myself have fine lines or some wrinkles already although my daughter says that it is not that obvious yet. Lol!
While there are many effective wrinkle cream available now in the market, keep in mind that everyone’s skin is different, so be careful in choosing which products work best for you and which produce an anti effect.

SMS Jokes 21

Man1: Mula nang mag-away kami ng misis ko, hindi pa ako kumakain. Tuwing nag-aaway kami hindi ako makakain e.
Man2: Talaga?! Sobra ka naman. Huwag ka masyadong sensitive.
Man1: Hindi yun e. Tuwing mag-aaway kami, tinatago niya pustiso ko!

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Wise saying:
let the wind blow through your hair, while you still have some…

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GIRL: Mirror, mirror on the wall make my bust grow to 44. (Boom! It grew!)
MAN: Mirror, mirror on the wall, make my dick reach the floor. (Boom! His legs became short.)

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2 women waiting 4 d bus,w/c was running late. Aftr som tym: 1ST WOMAN: u kno, I’v bin siting hir so long, my butt fel asleep! 2ND WOMAN: I kno!I cld hear it snoring!

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3 Bagay Ginagawa Ng Kababaihan Sa Honeymoon:
1. Umiyak dahil masakit.
2. Humahalinging dahil sa sarap.
3. Tahimik dahil may nakasubo.

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Confucius says:
“Erection is like theory of relativity, the more you think about, the harder it gets.”

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Ano ang difference ng LIBAG sa LIBOG?
Ang Libag pag remove sa body ng guy, dumudume ang banyo.
Ang Libog pag na remove sa body ng guy, dumudulas ang banyo.

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People wasted a lot of time talking about which came first, the chicken or the egg.
But it was surely the COCK!

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An admiral asks a young lady officer how she felt in the Navy.
Lady: Very well, sir, whole day passes in saying ‘yes sir, yes sir!’ & the whole night in saying ‘no sir, no sir!’

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Have u heard of a really great salesman?
Well, our hero is a guy who can actually make his wife feel sorry for the girl who lost her panties n bra in his car.

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Common Symptoms of Swine Flu:
1. High fever
2. Upset stomach
3. Occassional cramps
4. Irresistible urge to fuck in the mud!

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When a man takes off his pants in a hotel room, the first thing he hangs out is the DO NOT DISTURB sign!

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Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that’s not prohibited. ü

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2 blacks talking.

one sez, “u notice aftr sex w/ a white woman, ur eyes burn, ur nose burns & u got all teary-eyed?”

2nd guy sez, “ya, always. Its the pepper spray!”

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ALL OF THE ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE

Loving It

I love my newly purchased cream gel that I unfailingly put on my face as part of my daily beauty regimen now. In a week time, some skin improvement is already noticeable. It minimized and tightened my pores, reduced the appearance of fine lines, and I can say that I have a better facial skin now. I am happier with how my cream works while I am getting hopeless for solution on my dark circles under eye.