SMS Jokes 22

GIRL1: Nakipaghiwalay na ko sa boyfriend ko.
GIRL2: Bakit ka naki pag-break?
GIRL1: Gago talaga yon. Maganda at sexy daw ako sabay patay nung ilaw.

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Woman at 18 is lyk a football where 22 men run after her..
at 28,she is lyk a basketball,where 10 men run after her..
at 38,she is lyk a golf ball where 1man is after her..
and at 48 she’s lyk a tennis ball,where 2 men are pushing her to the other..

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A guy walks into a drugstore operated by a prudish woman. He asks, “Can I have a dozen condoms, Miss?”
“Don’t Miss me, mister.”
“Well, then, you better make it thirteen.”

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SMS Jokes 21

Man1: Mula nang mag-away kami ng misis ko, hindi pa ako kumakain. Tuwing nag-aaway kami hindi ako makakain e.
Man2: Talaga?! Sobra ka naman. Huwag ka masyadong sensitive.
Man1: Hindi yun e. Tuwing mag-aaway kami, tinatago niya pustiso ko!

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Wise saying:
let the wind blow through your hair,while you stillhave some…

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GIRL: Mirror, mirror on the wall make my bust grow to 44. (Boom! It grew!)
MAN: Mirror, mirror on the wall, make my dick reach the floor. (Boom! His legs became short.)

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2 women waiting 4 d bus,w/c was running late. Aftr som tym: 1ST WOMAN: u kno, I’v bin siting hir so long, my butt fel asleep! 2ND WOMAN: I kno!I cld hear it snoring!

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3 Bagay Ginagawa Ng Kababaihan Sa Honeymoon:
1. Umiyak dahil masakit.
2. Humahalinging dahil sa sarap.
3. Tahimik dahil may nakasubo.

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Confucius says:
“Erection is like theory of relativity, the more you think about, the harder it gets.”

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Ano ang difference ng LIBAG sa LIBOG?
Ang Libag pag remove sa body ng guy, dumudume ang banyo.
Ang Libog pag na remove sa body ng guy, dumudulas ang banyo.

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People wasted a lot of time talking about which came first, the chicken or the egg.
But it was surely the COCK!

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An admiral asks a young lady officer how she felt in the Navy.
Lady: Very well, sir, whole day passes in saying ‘yes sir, yes sir!’ & the whole night in saying ‘no sir, no sir!’

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Have u heard of a really great salesman?
Well, our hero is a guy who can actually make his wife feel sorry for the girl who lost her panties n bra in his car.

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Common Symptoms of Swine Flu:
1. High fever
2. Upset stomach
3. Occassional cramps
4. Irresistible urge to fuck in the mud!

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When a man takes off his pants in a hotel room, the first thing he hangs out is the DO NOT DISTURB sign!

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Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that’s not prohibited.

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2 blacks talking.

one sez, “u notice aftr sex w/ a white woman, ur eyes burn, ur nose burns & u got all teary-eyed?”

2nd guy sez, “ya, always. Its the pepper spray!”

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ALL OF THE ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE