Man1: Mula nang mag-away kami ng misis ko, hindi pa ako kumakain. Tuwing nag-aaway kami hindi ako makakain e.
Man2: Talaga?! Sobra ka naman. Huwag ka masyadong sensitive.
Man1: Hindi yun e. Tuwing mag-aaway kami, tinatago niya pustiso ko!
* * * * *
Wise saying:
let the wind blow through your hair, while you still have some…
* * * * * *
GIRL: Mirror, mirror on the wall make my bust grow to 44. (Boom! It grew!)
MAN: Mirror, mirror on the wall, make my dick reach the floor. (Boom! His legs became short.)
* * * * * *
2 women waiting 4 d bus,w/c was running late. Aftr som tym: 1ST WOMAN: u kno, I’v bin siting hir so long, my butt fel asleep! 2ND WOMAN: I kno!I cld hear it snoring!
* * * * * *
3 Bagay Ginagawa Ng Kababaihan Sa Honeymoon:
1. Umiyak dahil masakit.
2. Humahalinging dahil sa sarap.
3. Tahimik dahil may nakasubo.
* * * * * *
Confucius says:
“Erection is like theory of relativity, the more you think about, the harder it gets.”
* * * * * *
Ano ang difference ng LIBAG sa LIBOG?
Ang Libag pag remove sa body ng guy, dumudume ang banyo.
Ang Libog pag na remove sa body ng guy, dumudulas ang banyo.
* * * * * *
People wasted a lot of time talking about which came first, the chicken or the egg.
But it was surely the COCK!
* * * * *
An admiral asks a young lady officer how she felt in the Navy.
Lady: Very well, sir, whole day passes in saying ‘yes sir, yes sir!’ & the whole night in saying ‘no sir, no sir!’
* * * * *
Have u heard of a really great salesman?
Well, our hero is a guy who can actually make his wife feel sorry for the girl who lost her panties n bra in his car.
* * * * * *
Common Symptoms of Swine Flu:
1. High fever
2. Upset stomach
3. Occassional cramps
4. Irresistible urge to fuck in the mud!
* * * * * *
When a man takes off his pants in a hotel room, the first thing he hangs out is the DO NOT DISTURB sign!
* * * * *
Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that’s not prohibited. ü
* * * * *
2 blacks talking.
one sez, “u notice aftr sex w/ a white woman, ur eyes burn, ur nose burns & u got all teary-eyed?”
2nd guy sez, “ya, always. Its the pepper spray!”
* * * * *
ALL OF THE ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE
