SMS Jokes 35

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IBARRA: Maria Clara, ang iyong kagandahan at hinhin ay walang katulad.
MARIA CLARA: Ulul!

SMS courtesy of Pryss

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Lalake: Pag tayo na, magkasama na nating haharapin ang mga problema.
Babae: Pero wala naman akong problema..
Lalake: Kasi nga, hindi pa tayo. Wag ka excited!!

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Mr: Hon, buksan mo ang pinto!
Mrs: Sori, hindi pwede. Wala akong suot.
Mr. (tumawa) ok lang. Wala akong kasama.
Mrs: Ako, meron!

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Erap was brought to court for drunken driving. Just before the hearing there was a commotion in the courtroom. The judge pounded the gavel on his bench and shouted, “Order! Order!” Erap replied, “Thank you, your honor! I’ll have a Johnnie Walker Blue!”

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Tatay Ko Po!

Today is January 5.

Birthday ng yumao kung TATAY.

Na-miss ko ang matanda. Yung last 3 years niya dito sa mundo, he spent it with me and my kids. Sinamahan at tumira sa akin si ama sa rason na kesyo na naaawa daw sya sa akin at single mom ako.

Achuchu! Ayaw lang aminin ni ama na ako ang pinaka-LABS nya sa lahat ng mga anak nya. (nyay! sana hindi ‘to mabasa ng mga kapatid ko.)

Si Tatay ko ang naging katuwang ko sa buhay sa loob ng 3 taon mula ng ipinanganak ko ang daughter kong si Keziah. Naging magaan ang buhay ko noong bagong panganak ako dahil si Tatay ang naging TIGASIN ng buhay ko.

Siya ang tiga-saing ko, tiga-bantay, taga-alaga, at taga-timpla ng gatas ni Keziah. Siya rin ang taga hatid-sundo kay Kevin noong nag umpisa sa school ang bagets ko. Taga-salo ko rin sya sa mga gawaing-bahay na hindi ko matapos-tapos sa sobrang pagod.

Sa mga pagkakamali ko noon sa buhay, I heard him say, “Life is what you maketh”. “Sa pagkakamali mo, huwag ka manisi ng ibang tao!” Pero sa sobrang ikli ng buhay, dagdag pa niya, “Life doesn’t have to swim in tears”! “Tumayo ka at umayos!” “Maganda ka, matalino, maalindog at cute!” (dagdag ko na lang ‘to). Harapin mo ang buhay!”

Da best talaga si Fadir, kaya naman tuwing sasapit ang January 5…di ko maiwasan ang medyo mag-emote. Nakaka-miss!

Siguro kung nabubuhay lang sya ngayon…nai-imagine ko na ang gara siguro ng cellphone unit nya na bigay ng sister kong si Millette. Siguro madalas syang papasahan ng load ng brother kong si Evan at malamang sagot din ni Ate Ellen ang pang-sabong niya tuwing Sunday.

Eh ako? Siempre malamang sagot ko na ang pagtuturo kay Tatay kung paano maglaro ng Ragnarok at Counter Strike sa computer. Sisiguraduhin ko na ako na bahala mag refer sa kanya ng mga magagandang porn sites sa internet. 😛

‘pi bertdey, ‘tay!

Lessening The Pain

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“The best part of being in love with someone is being convinced that that person will be with us forever. Most of us start relationship believing in the promise of love without end. Unfortunately, not all relationships end the way we want them to.

To some, love comes in a fleeting moment and goes just as fast. But getting over the feeling always seems to take a lifetime, because the only person who can heal the pain is usually the very same person who hurt us and made us cry.

Sometimes just as we are about to accept the failure of our relationship, that person comes back to us and unknowingly destroys our defenses. Suddenly, we find ourselves hooked on love again. And it hurts even more because we know that person doesnt share the same feeling anymore.

Even if there is the urge to forget because it hurts, there would always be that compelling reason to hope for love to come back. It is like waiting for the sun to shine in the middle of a storm.

The love that brings us pain should be the same love that would heal our hearts. When you love so much that it begins to hurt, then you have to learn to let go to lessen your pain.

Love hurts, and sometimes it hurts like there is no tomorrow. But there still is and there will always be one. No matter how battered and stricken we have been, there will always be a tomorrow that will bring hope and love. But that tomorrow will never come unless we leave the past behind and live today as we should.

Let the pain remain for a while and let the tears fall as they please. Then after all that, move on and find your place in this world where you will feel that everything is going to be all right.”

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SMS Jokes 34

May isang lalaki umihi sa pader..
.. nang biglang kumidlat.
Napasigaw si lalaki.. “panginoon ko!
wag mo pong ipa-develop, bukas po magpapatuli na ako PROMISE!”

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AMO: Ikaw ba ung applicant?
GIRL: Opo, sir.
AMO: Eh, bakit ganyan ang suot mo? Naka 2-piece bikini ka? Ano ba inaapplyan mo?
GIRL: Summer Job po…

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Ngayong year of the tiger, sabi ng mga feng shui masters na ang pinakabwenas na lucky charm ay ang baboy. Kaya tiyak na suswertehen na naman si Ate Glue kasi kasama niya lagi ang lucky charm niya!

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