SMS Jokes 36

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  • Boyfriend to Girlfriend, may LQ: What do you take me for?! Granted?
  • Guard, answering the telephone: Hello?… Ah yes, for a while. Please hang yourself.
  • Starlet in an interview: If the odds are against me, then I will against them.
  • Inday Badiday asks a starlet about her mother’s burial:                          Inday: Kumusta ang libing ng nanay mo?                                                  Starlet: Successful naman po.

  • Army officer to cadet: “Do you know why I ask you to stand?” ”No, sir.” “Ok, why?” (anlabo!)
  • Teacher to students: Baka gusto nyong ibilad ko kayo sa covered courts.

Teacher: Class, I want you to watch sex scenes.
Class: What?! Teacher!
Teacher: What’s wrong? It’s a beautiful film starring Bros Welles!
(Bruce Willis)
Class: Aah, Sixth Sense!

  • Sa isang examination: Student: Mam, pwedeng gumamit ng liquid paper? Teacher: Ang kulit naman! Sinabi nang pad paper lang eh.
  • A reporter interviews a politician about the Philippine economy. Politician says: Talagang mahirap ang buhay natin ngayon. Pero slow by slow, we will success.
  • Teacher: Sorry, class. I’m late. My mother died three years ago. And now she’s dead. (Ano daw?!)
  • Heard in a fastfood chain: Yaya: Ma’m, gusto po ni Mark ng KIDNEY MEAL!
  • Teacher: What is ur name? Student: Dell.                                                Teacher: What is ur old? (maybe she meant how old are you?)
  • In a restaurant: Waiter: Sir, How do you want your egg?            Customer: Side in, side out.
  • Mom interviews her daughter’s suitor:                                                          Mom: What’s your course?                                                                              Suitor: Geo po (for geology).                                                                            Mom: Ahhh… Geo-rnalism. Ok yan. (ok nga!)
  • Guy to Girl: I love you. This is not a ball. (“Hindi ito bola” in English)
  • Teacher to students: Okay, form two straight circles and find your height alphabetically!
  • Teacher to students: Okay class, it’s time to go home. Form a line and pass out slowly.
  • Angry teacher to student: I want you to bring your father and your mother, especially your parents, understood?! Bring them tomorrow in front of me, right here, right now!
  • Emcee, in a party: The next song is the favorite song of my best friend, and neither do I!
  • Teacher: Oy, magdala kayo ng chip ahoy a.                                                  Student: Miss may “s” yon…                                                                         Teacher: A, sorry. Chip ahoys!
  • Two lousy-in-english friends talking to each other:                                  Friend 1: Am I raining outside?                                                                      Friend 2: Not yet. Sprinkle only.

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