SMS Jokes 37

TINO: ‘nay, kanino po ako nagmana? maitim ako samantalang maputi kayo.
NANAY: sa tatay mo!
TINO: ho? eh maputi din nmn c tatay ah!
NANAY: pero maitim bird nya!

* * * * *

Sabi ni Aling Dionisia nang tumunog ang cel ni Manny…
“Manny! May me seeds ka.”

* * * * *
TAPOS NA ANG  O ‘nine…

NAWA’Y LABASAN KAYO
NG MADAMING TAGUMPAY
AT SWERTE SA PAGPASOK NG..

O ‘ten.

* * * * *

This Pinoy dude was taking a piss on the side of a building and this Kano guy sees him. After the Pinoy is done, the Kano asks him, “How come you don’t wash your hands after you pee?” And the Pinoy replies, “Because we Filipinos don’t piss in our hands.”

* * * * *

ERAP: Take it from me. Wrinkle cream doesn’t work. I’ve been using it for years & up to now my balls still look like prunes! :-

* * * * *

Boy to girlfriend:
“If you don’t want to see me smoking… then you better find a way to keep my lips busy!” ό

* * * * *

News:
Pacquiao-Maywheather fight is final: Feb 5, 2010.
Roach said that to add more attraction to the fight,

Dionisia will dance inside d ring!

* * * * *

2 women were talking. One said that her boyfriend had a dandruff problem but she gave him “Head & Shoulder” and it cleared up. The other asked inquisitively, “How do you give shoulders?”

* * * * *

HEALTH ADVISORY:

1. Sex is the safest tranquillizer in the world. It is 10x more effective than Valium.

2. Love making can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
3. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is an antihistamine that combat asthma and hay fever.

* * * * *

Kissing each day will keep the dentist away.

Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque buildup.

Go, Ladies and Gents!ό

* * * * *

“Doc, Doc!” shouted a woman coming into the doctor’s office, “I think I’m turning into a man!”
“Now hold on lady what makes you think that you’re turning into a man?”
“Well” said the woman, “I’m starting to grow hair on my chest.” and then the doc asked, “Well, then, how far down your chest is your hair growing?”
“All the way down to my dick.” she replied.

* * * * *

Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope Died.

Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament
4. PopeDied

Lesson Learned
The next time Charles gets married…
Someone please warn the Pope!!!!

* * * * *

Family Planning Advisory:
If you want to practice safe sex…
Do it with the same sex.
LOL! Safe nga!

* * * * *

2 hookers were at a street corner. They started discussing the trade, and one of the hooker remarks, “Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.” The other hooker looks at her and says, “No! I just burped!”

* * * * *

Thought Of The Day:
“Rape is not a crime…
it’s just a surprise SEX!”

* * * * *

ALL OF THE ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE

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