SMS Jokes 38

TODAY’s QUOTE:
Kung ikaw ay isang ice cream..
huwag mong hayaang matunaw ka ng hindi ka man lang nadilaan.

* * * * *

Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son: Not much, Dad, just a radio with a Ferrari around it. ü

* * * * *

PEDRO: Niloko ko yon tindera kanina. . . .hahahaha!
JUAN: paano mo naman niloko yon tindera?
PEDRO: nagpaload ako eh! wala naman akong cellphone!!!!

* * * * *

PEDRO: Ang tapang talaga ni kumpare. Biro mo, tumalon sa eroplano na walang parachute.
LEO: Oh totoo? San mo naman nabalitaan yan?
PEDRO: dun sa burol niya!

* * * * *

There once lived a lovely old maid named Aiz who was dying but extremely proud to die a virgin. So she asks the cemetery caretaker to make a tombstone with the inscriptions: “Here she lies, the Virgin Aiz.” When she died, the carekeeper forgot the exact inscriptions she wanted. He thought long and hard, then he chiseled out, “Here she lies, DEVIRGINIZED.”

* * * * *

A sad story. A woman’s husband died & she had him cremated. She then blew his ashes into the ocean & said “Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you”.

* * * * *

Your Stars and After Sex Behavior..

Aries: ok, let’s do it again!
Taurus: i’m hungry – pass the pizza!
Gemini: have u seen the tv remote?
Cancer: when are we getting married?
Leo: wasn’t i fantastic?
Virgo: i need to wash the sheets.
Libra: i liked it if u liked it.
Scorpio: perhaps i should untie u!
Sagittarius: don’t call me, i’l call u!
Capricorn: do u have a biznes card?
Aquarius: now let’s try it with our clothes off!
Pisces: what did u say ur name was?

Tama ba sayo?! 🙂

* * * * *

“Dad, are you scared of the dark?”
“No son, who told you I was frightened of the dark?”
“No one, but why do u creep into Mummy’s bed at night?”

* * * * *
Son to dying father: Itay, ano po ang gusto nyo, magpalibing ba o
magpa-cremate? Ama:Ikaw na ang bahala, anak. I-surprise mo na lang ako.

* * * * *

Misis: Darling, akala ko ba, mahal mo ako…
Mister: Oo nga! Handa akong mamatay alang-alang sayo.
Misis: Sus! Puro ka naman satsat, hindi mo naman ginagawa!

* * * * *
A large signboard says: “ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY.”
Nakita ng lasenggo… “So what?! Sino ba nagmamadali? “?

* * * * *

Teacher: Juan, give me colors that start with letter M, except maroon!
Juan: Hhmmm…
Maitim!
Mapute!
Maputla!
Madilaw!
Mukhang berde!
Mejo asul!
Mamink-mink!

* * * * *
Kid: “Yaya look, boats!”
Yaya: “Dows are not boats, dey’re yachts.”
Kid: “Yaya, spell yachts?”
Yaya: “Yor rayt, dey are boats.”

* * * * *

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.