SMS Jokes 39

A guy was eatIng a girl out wen he stopped for a sec and moaned: “Geez, dis pussy’s big! Geez, dis pussy’s big!” ” I know,” she said, “but y did u say it twice?” He said,”I didnt.”

SMS Joke courtesy of KUPS

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BAGONG KASAL
BOY:Tay, pano ko malalaman kung virgin pa asawa ko?
TATAY: duduguin sya anak, may lalabas na kulay pula.
GIRL:Nay,pano ko itatago sa asawa ko na di na ko virgin?
NANAY:bumili ka ng food coloring anak, ibuhos mo sa kama.
(Girl, nagkamali ng kulay na nabiling food coloring)
BOY:tay!tay!,bat ganon? Kulay green ang lumabas?.
TATAY: naloko na! tinamaan mo apdo nya anak.

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Nag-apply sa trabaho si Juan. “Ano ba ang work nais mong hawakan?” tanong boss. “Iyon pong may pagka-exec, halimbawa, bise-presidente,” sagot ni Juan.
BOSS: E 12 na ang aming mga bise-presidente!
JUAN: Hindi po bale! Hindi naman ako naniniwala sa pamahiin!

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Ang Kabayo

Oo na! Alam ko Year of the Tiger ngayon. Eweno naman ngayon? Keber ko naman! Basta ako…Year of the Horse ako. Kaya pala sabi ng ex ko, magaling daw akong mangabayo. Joke!

Pero mas Ok na yun, kesa naman sabihan ‘tong lola nyo na mukhang kabayo. Waaaa!

Imperness, compatible daw kami ng mga pipol na isinilang sa Year of the Tiger. Pero mas na-excite akong nalaman na kabagang ko rin daw ang Year of the Dog. Si Kups ko kasi…year of the dog din. Hmmn…does it follow kaya na magaling din sya sa dog-sty… ? Ay wag na nga lang. Ang halay isipin!

Natutuwa akong basahin ‘tong mga traits ng mga isinilang sa Year of the Horse kasi medyo may bahid ng katotohanan tungkol sa sarili at pag uugali ko.

Year of the Horse ka rin ba? If yes….

Basa!

1918, 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002

HorsePeople born in the Year of the Horse are popular. They are cheerful, skillful with money, and perceptive, although they sometimes talk too much.

They are wise, talented, good with their hands, and sometimes have a weakness for members of the opposite sex. They are impatient and hot-blooded about everything except their daily work.

They are very independent and rarely listen to advice. Horses crave love and intimacy, which is a double-edged sword since it often leads them to feel trapped.

Love connections tend to come easily to Horses, since they exude the kind of raw sex appeal that is a magnet to others. This Sign tends to come on very strong in the beginning of the relationship, having an almost innate sense of romance and seduction. Horses are seducers in general.

This Sign possesses a sharp wit and a scintillating presence; it really knows how to work a crowd. Horses tend not to look much at the big picture; instead they just follow their whims, which can result in a trail of prematurely ended relationships, jobs, projects and so on.

This Sign really knows how to motivate others, though, and get a lot accomplished. Once they find some peace within themselves, they can curb their wandering tendencies and learn to appreciate what’s in their own backyard.

They are most compatible with Tigers, Dogs, and Sheep.

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