SMS Jokes 42

Son kills butterfly…dad says, “no BUTTER for 2 weeks.”
Son kills honeybee…dad says, “no HONEY for 2 weeks.” Mom kills cockroach….son says, “cmon dad tell her!”

SMS Joke courtesy of Kups

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There are two choices when you wanna sleep with someone:
1. There’s the torrid kisses, hot foreplays & non stop sex; or
2. warm embrace, a goodnight kiss and the phrase “sweet dreams, LOVE you.. mwah!”

which one would u ch0ose? –ang pumiLi ng number 2 .. pLastik!

SMS Joke courtesy of Grashiela

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Sadyang pinaglaruan tayo ng panahon…
kung kelan di mo hinihintay, du’n dumadating…
kapag sobra na umaasa ka naman, saka wala…
Haaay…

Ang utot talaga, pabigla-bigla!

* * * * *

Top 10 TXT Na Mahirap Replyan..
10. Ganun ba
9. On nga..
8. Ah..
7. Ngek!
6. K!
5. Hehe..
4. Haha..
3. Cge
2. Yup
at higit sa lahat,
1. Pwede pautang?

* * * * *

BOKABULARYO:
KUKURIKABU – libag sa ilalim ng boobs ng mga babae pag ngpowder
WENELEKLEK – makapit na amoy sa balat galing sa leather ng relos
BAKTOL – ika3ng antas ng pamatay na amoy
AGIHAP – libag na gumuhit sa brief o panty
BURNEK – buhok sa puwet
BULTOKACHI – splash ng 2big sa pwet pgkbgsak ng dumi
MULMOL – buhok sa nunal
TUTCHANG – malagong buhok sa ilong
PROKWIT – pgtnggal o pghugot ng undwear o short sa nangangaing pwet

Uy! Uv learn something!

* * * * *

Boss walks up to one of his employees & exclaims “Your’e fired!”
“I didn’t do anything!” replies d employee.
“I know. That’s why you’re fired!” says the boss.

* * * * *
2 gays in a heated argument with one of them saying, “Well, you can kiss my ass!”
The other one blurted out, “This is no time to talk about romance, Bitch!”

* * * * *

According to old Sigmund Freud, Life is seldom so fully enjoyed,
as in human coitus in every position,with the usual organs employed.

* * * * *

Best Reasons To Go To Work Naked…
1. Ur boss is always yelling, “I wana see ur ass here by 8 am.”
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on ur tan.
3. “I love to chip in but I left my wallet in my pants.”
4. Gives ‘bad hair day’ a new meaning.
5. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down ur blouse.
6. People stop stealing ur pens after they’ve seen where you keep them.
7. No one steals ur chair.

* * * * *

A girl was telling her date about her old BF, while stroking her beer bottle up and down many times. Finally her date had enough and says, “You’re always thinking about him. Why don’t you think about me once in a while?”

“Ok!” she says and starts stroking the top 2 inches of her bottle.

* * * * *

QUOTATION OF THE DAY:
“A man loses his direction after four drinks…
a woman loses hers after four kisses.”

* * * * *

The rest of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of MIKE


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