Lola: Ikulong nyo ang asawa ko, puro dogstyle ang gusto nya!
Pulis: Lola, wla pong illegal sa dogstyle.
Lola: Pero inaamoy lang nya tapos iihian!
SMS Joke courtesy of Kups
oOo
Husband: I fancy kinky sex. How about i cum in your ear?
Wife: No, i might get deaf.
Husband: I’ve been coming in your mouth for twenty years, and you’re still bloody talking!
SMS Joke courtesy of Kups
oOo
Babae at lalaki, nagkasalubong, matagal nagkatitigan:
Babae: “Bakit mo ako tinititigan? Ano iniisip mo sa kin?”
Lalaki: “Katulad din ng iniisip mo sa kin.”
Babae: “Bastos!”
SMS Joke courtesy of Kups
oOo
A lesson in logic:
Ang kape ay pampanerbyos samantalang ang gatas ay pampalakas. Kaya huwag uminom ng kapeng may gatas dahil ito ay pampamalakas ng nerbyos. May point sya!
SMS Joke courtesy of Kups
oOo
This Valentine, make sure you send the one you love a basket of flowers, buy her a box of chocolates and tell her you love her very deeply.
And then do the same for your wife para walang problema.
SMS Joke courtesy of Mike
oOo
kakaiba na talaga ang tao ngaun..
nasa loob ako ng church kanina, nasa harap ko ang isang babae. at the middle of the mass, she lights a cigarette. nashock ako!!!
natapon ko tuloy ang San Mig ko!
SMS Joke courtesy of Mike
oOo
Vendor: ma’m bili na kayo ng relos. Matibay kahit pasagasaan mo sa 10- wheeler truck aandar pa din.
Ma’m: talaga aandar pa din ang relo?
Vendor: hindi ang relo kundi ang 10- wheeler truck.
oOo
A husband reminded his wife..
“Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and I want to start the day with two minutes of silence.”
oOo
Old guy comes home early, finds his young wife standing in the middle of their apartment wearing a red G-string, 7 inch heels, and the whole flat flooded.
‘What happend here?’ he asks.
‘I think the water bed got busted,’ she replies.
Just then a naked guy floats by.
‘Who’s he?’ he demanded.
‘I dunno, must be a life guard.’
oOo
WOMEN Vs. MEN
Women: A wife was not home for the night. Next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at a friend’s flat. So he called 10 of her friends and none of them confirmed what she said.
Men: A husband was not home for the night. So he tells his wife the next morning that he stayed at a friend’s flat for the night. She calls 10 of his friends and 5 of them confirmed his statement and the other 5 claim that he is still with them.
MABUHAY ANG MGA LALAKE!!!
oOo
Women’s Advice:
If you love someone, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn’t
come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your phone, takes your money, and doesn’t appear to realize that you had set it free… You either married it or gave birth to it. =)
oOo
As man goes older,
it is harder and harder…
for him to get harder!
oOo
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I don’t speak French…
but I know how to kiss that way!”
oOo
Tarzan swings,
Tarzan falls,
Jane saves him by grabbing his balls..
Now you know why Tarzan yells…
“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”
oOo
“Lapit na naman ang Election..
Sana lang iboto ako ng nanay at tatay mo..
PARA SAYO.” cheesy! 
oOo
Paano mo sasabihìn sa kausap mo na MAASIM ang amoy nya nang di nya daramdamin?
Ganito: Bestfriend, may dugong bughaw ka ba?
Siguro anak ka ni Datu Puti ano? Halata kasi sa amoy mo eh!!!
oOo
The rest of the above SMS jokes courtesy of Mike
good mornig mamaru… uu ingat palagi hahhahhahhahha tawa kai ng tawa nga kaibigan ko… hahha by the way… ni recommend ko blog muh sa isang ko pang bastos at bading na babae kong kaibigan sa abroad para marami pa kaming tatawa at matototo sa blog muh hahhahhha ..
belated happy valentines day… muwahhh….
[Reply]
Oist! Tawa ka ng tawa diyan! Parang feel ko tumatalsik pati laway mo sa monitor mo. Lol!
Abah! Ibig mong sabihin magiging GLOBAL na ang MARUISM? Naglevel up na ngaaaaa! Lol! Maraming salamat, ateng! Mabohey keyong lehet! Yaan mo at pag iigihan ko ang mga chorvah ko. Pwede ko ba kayong okray-okrayin din? Joke!
.-= MARU´s last blog ..Ramdam Nyo Rin Ba? =-.
[Reply]