Archive for 31 March, 2010
Kahit Anong Mangyari – Be Happy
Lip Balm
Yesterday, I went to Cagayan De Oro City to pick-up my mini-notebook from HP service center. Just before returning home to Iligan City, I dropped by at SM Watsons to buy some medicines and checked as well the mall’s deals of the day that perhaps will interest me.
At Watsons, this lip balm caught my eyes. This is just what I am looking to replace my missing-in-action old lip balm for over two weeks now .
Watsons Moisturizing Lip Balm for only P49.00
SMS Jokes 74
IN A CLASSROOM
NENE: maam si pedro siniko po ako!!!
TEACHER: pedro! bkit mo ginawa yun! alam mo bng masakit ang maniko!!
PEDRO: eh bakit po kayo pumasok? masakit pla MANI nyo!!!
oOo
Apat na Uri ng Palautot…
MAPAGKUNWARI: Uutot nang tahimik at aastang inosente.
MAHIYAIN: Uutot nang mahina at ngingiti.
MAYABANG: Uutot nang malakas at tatawa nang malakas habang nagyayabang.
MALAS: Susubukang umutot pero t@e ang lalabas.
oOo
Tindera: HOII! Kahit nagtitinda lang ako ng juice dito may mga anak ako na nasa UP, UV, UC, USC, USJR ug STC.
Student: WOW! Anong course nila?
Tindera: Wala! Nagtitinda rin ng juicce..
oOo
Lunes Na Naman
Lunes na naman ngayon.
Kahapon lang eh.. Linggo.
Noong isang araw eh… Sabaders.
Bukas… Martes na agad?
At ang susunod na araw Miyerkoles na? Lol! Sensya na at nangungulit lang. Bilis naman kasi ng mga araw.
Ano ba ginawa nyo noong Sabaders, naki-Earth Hour din ba kayo? Kami kasi pasok na pasok talaga sa Earth Hour, hindi lang isang oras kundi 3 oras kaming brownout! Pak! Hindi ako makapagluto ng hapunan kaya lumabas kami na mag-nanay at tumambay na rin sa isang coffee shop dito sa planeta namin.
Wala lang, pa-chill-chill lang kami kunyari habang nagpapalipas ng brownout.
SMS Jokes 73
Dok: Anong nangyari sa mga tenga mo?
Joshue: Nagpaplantsa kasi ako nang kumiriring ang telepono. Aksidenteng na-pick up ko ‘yung plantsa.
Dok: Eh bakit dalawang tenga mo ang nagkaganyan?
Joshue: Ang gago, tumawag uli!
oOo
Isang gabi, nagsisiping ang mag-asawa…
Misis: ohhhh… bilisan mo… bilisan mo pa…
Mister: h’wag ka maingay… eto na bibilisan ko na.
Misis: dalian mo… ohhh… dalian mo
Nagising ang bata…
Bata: saan kayo pupunta? Sama ako?
Hindi Po Nagpatuli
Kahit gaano katibay o kasaya ang isang relasyon, hindi talaga maiwasan na may manaka-naka at pabugso-bugsong problema na dumarating minsan.
Para sa isang katulad ko na hindi masyado nasanay ang sarili na mag-alala, pag nasusubukan talaga ng pagkakataon…talaga naman… henaku! ang hirapppppp! Basta hindi ako mapakali at pakiramdam ko natatae ako lagi. Nyemas!
SMS Jokes 72
Sa morgue, 4 ang patay. naka-SMILE lahat:
1. Nanalo sa lotto, Inatake sa puso!
2. Nag-sex sa sexy star, Namatay sa sarap!
3. Tinamaan ng kidlat, Akala picture taking!
4. Nilayasan ng asawa, namatay sa sobrang tuwa!
SMS courtesy of Grashiela
oOo
BABAE1: Peste itong kasal-kasal na ito! Mula ng makasal kami, di na ako hinahalikan ni Teryo.
BABAE2: Aba, dapat hiwalayan mo na agad hanggang maaga.
BABAE1: Huh? Hindi naman si Teryo ang napangasawa ko eh, si Juan!
oOo
Kung gusto kong
yumaman pa…
eh babalik na lang ako sa
pagiging negosyante…
Pero…Bakit p ako magnenegosyo ng maliit kung pwede maging negosyo ang buong Pilipinas kapag naging PRESIDENTE ako.-Money Vil-liar
oOo
Umaga, mag dyowa may hangover pa kakagising lang galing sa isang night wild party:
BF: Ikaw ba ang ka sex ko sa may garden kagabi?
GF: Mga anong oras?
Category: HUMOR, March 2010, SMS Jokes 2010 |
Tags: Green Jokes, jokes, lafftrip, Pinoy Jokes, SMS Jokes
Walang Iwanan
Ilang beses ko na rin sinabi ang ganito sa mga pag-uusap natin. Ilang beses ko na rin itinext sa ‘yo na magpakatatag ka.
Ngayon, idadaan ko na lang ulit sa kanta ang mensahe ko.
“Keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
Just stay strong..”
SMS Jokes 71
U.S. Pinoy being interviewed to be a potential juror.
JUDGE: If you were chosen for this jury, can you follow instructions?
PINOY: Yes, Your Honor! I have been married for twenty five years.
oOo
What’s the difference between a non-Chinese woman and a Chinese woman?
A non-Chinese lady urges her husband to take Viagra.
A Chinese lady urges her husband to invest in Pfizer, Viagra’s maker!
oOo
Thoughts to ponder:
* Money can’t buy happiness, but somehow its more comfortable to cry n a BMW than on a tricycle;
* Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name;
* Help a man when he is n trouble & he wil remember you when he is in trouble again..
Category: HUMOR, March 2010, SMS Jokes 2010 |
Tags: Green Jokes, jokes, lafftrip, Pinoy Jokes, SMS Jokes
Maria’s Diary On A Cruise Ship
DEAR DIARY – DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship — all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this “all-girls” trip.
DEAR DIARY – DAY 2
Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today — seems like a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY – DAY 3
At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
DEAR DIARY – DAY 4
Won P50,000.00 in the ship’s casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY – DAY 5
Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship. I was shocked.
DEAR DIARY – DAY 6
Today I saved 1600 lives.
Twice.
oOo
Category: HUMOR |
Tags: funny story
