SMS Jokes 67

Nakaranas ka na ba na mamatayan ng kapatid dahil wala kang pera pambili ng gamot?
Nakaranas ka na bang matulog sa bangketa sa palengke dahil wala kang sariling bahay na matulugan?
Pag si Villar ang iboboto mo, ang lahat ng ito ay mararanasan mo!

oOo

Pedro asks his doctor how to live longer?
Doc: Do u smoke?
Pedro: No
Doc: U drink?
Pedro: No
Doc: U gamble?
Pedro: No
Doc: Do u love sex?
Pedro: No
Doc: THEN WHAT THE FUCK DO U WANT TO LIVE FOR SO LONG?

oOo

Man: Hey, baby, if you come home with me, I can show you a really good time.
Woman: You know what your problem is? Your mouth is writing checks that your body can’t encash.”

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Things We Love About Being Pinay

Minsan ko na tinanong ang man op may layp kong si Kups, bakit sa tinagal-tagal nya dun sa Landon (UK), halos dalawang dekada na yata, eh mas choose pa rin ng lolo nyo ang Pinay para maging pakner.

Siempre, kumbaga sa pagkain, aminado sa akin si Kups na nakatikim na rin sya ng ibang putahe sa ibang bansa. Kaso may kasabihan nga tayo na iba pa rin talaga ang pagkain na lutong-bahay o sariling-atin, kaya mas hinahanap-hanap pa rin ng panlasa nya… ng dila nya (pun intended) ang – Pinay.  :p

Hmmn…siguro nga may something about Pinay kahit sa halimuyak pa lang – siguro nga mas yummylicious! Lol! Dagdag pa ni Kups, iba pa rin talaga ang Pinay!

Bilang Pinay, siempre mula hair split-ends hanggang ingrown ng toenails ko – proud aketch!

Heto, dagdagan pa natin galing sa mga kabaro ko ang churva kung bakit labs nila ang pagiging nay-pi nila. Nakulimbat ko ‘to sa Cosmopolitan (May 2002) magazine.

Things We Love About Being Pinay.

We Pinays, we just love…

  1. How we continually try to improve ourselves.
  2. How we’re so effortlessly sexy.
  3. How we’re so resilient and optimistic that can still wave and smile at a TV camera even after an earthquake or any calamity.
  4. How Pinays can manipulate men without coming across as too crass or aggressive.
  5. How we have so little body hair.
  6. The way people from other countries rave about our year-round tan.
  7. The way we have rhythm and can carry a tune.
  8. That we’re just about the right size for any kind of height.
  9. That we have so many other girl for different kinds of gripes.
  10. How creative and artistic we are.
  11. How we can get along with just about anybody.
  12. Our killer smile.
  13. How we can laugh during the most trying times.
  14. How we can find a bargain in just about any city in the world!
  15. How we’re so small we can fit all our girl friends in a car.
  16. How we always smell nice.
  17. How we have a sense of humor for every occasion.
  18. How we do not deny ourselves of our right to assemble and eat.
  19. What great company we are.
  20. That we will die if we don’t take a bath everyday.
  21. That we have just the right size boobs, butt, hips and waist.
  22. That we always stand out and excel in any field.
  23. That we’re so amazingly kuripot, it hurts.
  24. How we can all sing, dance and cook—well!
  25. How we absolutely love strange things like manggang hilaw, bagoong, aligue, and super-maasim na suka.
  26. How, because we’re so used to making do, no matter how dire the conditions, we will always find a way.
  27. How, no matter how poor we are magkamatayan na, we’ll still get manicures and pedicures and look fabulous.
  28. How we’re so irresistible, we drive men of all nations insane.
  29. How, once we put our minds to it, we can do and be whatever we want.

Mabuhay ang Pinay!

 

 

oOo