SMS Jokes 69

Husband: Sobra ka na, napakaselosa mo! Kung pwede ko lang iwan ang titi ko, para hindi ka nag-iisip ng kung ano ano!
Wife: Oy oy oy! Ano ako tanga? Iwan mo rin ang dila mo!

SMS joke courtesy of Kups

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Yoga Master: Has yoga any effect on ur husband’s drinking habit?
Wife: Yes, an amazing effect! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down on his head!

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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NON-SENSE TRIVIA –

  • If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months & 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat a cup of coffiee (pwede palang gawing coffeemaker ang bungagera!)
  • Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.(salamat naman! lindol yan pagnakataon!)
  • If you farted consistently for 6 years & 9 months, enough gas is produce to create the energy of an atom bomb. ( now, that’s more like it!)

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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Wife woke up her husband in the middle of the night..

SHE: There’s a burglar downstairs eating the cake I baked this morning.
HE: Whom shall I call, the police or an ambulance?

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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ANAK: ‘Tay, bakit malakas humilik ang mga lalake?
AMA: Yun lang kasi ang paraan ng isang lalake para makabawi sa mga misis na bungagera.

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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Notice sa Male CR ng isang beach resort:
‘Kaibigan, iwasan ang pagdumi na parang palaka at kung umihi, huwag mong itaktak si Manoy para di kumalat ang patak ng ihi mo sa gilid ng bowl. Hindi ka baboy, Kaibigan!’

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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According to Pulse Asia:
Villar in neck-and-neck tie with Aquino!
To the rest of the pack,
“Neck-neck nyo!” 😛

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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Why do men cheat and lie?
It’s because they know it’s easier to get forgiveness than permission!

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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Doug went to a psychiatrist & said, “Doc, I’m really worried about my wife. Yesterday she posed for a nude picture.”
The psychiatrist said, “Well I wouldn’t worry about that. It’s probably just an expression of her interest in art. What was the nude picture for?”
Doug said, “Her driver’s license.”

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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Relationships…
LIPSTICK (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring on a tramp would wear…!

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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CHINESE PROVERB:
If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day, go shopping.
If you want happiness for a lifetime, don’t get married, but if you want a lifetime of happiness despite marriage, have a party…

A Third PARTY!

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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DEFINITIONS:

Adult – someone who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Beauty Parlor – where women curl up and dye.
Character Lines – what you have on your face.
Wrinkles – what others have on their faces.

SMS joke courtesy of Mike

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