SMS Jokes 71

U.S. Pinoy being interviewed to be a potential juror.
JUDGE: If you were chosen for this jury, can you follow instructions?
PINOY: Yes, Your Honor! I have been married for twenty five years.

oOo

What’s the difference between a non-Chinese woman and a Chinese woman?
A non-Chinese lady urges her husband to take Viagra.
A Chinese lady urges her husband to invest in Pfizer, Viagra’s maker!

oOo

Thoughts to ponder:

* Money can’t buy happiness, but somehow its more comfortable to cry n a BMW than on a tricycle;
* Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name;
* Help a man when he is n trouble & he wil remember you when he is in trouble again..

oOo

Things a man would do if had a vagina:
1. Go shopping for a huge cucumber.
2. Squat over a hand held mirror for 2 hours.
3. See if he could actually do the splits.
4. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts.
5. Have multiple orgasms and still be ready for more, without taking a nap first.
6. Go to a gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
7. Finally find the damned G-spot!!

oOo

Q: How come it seems whoever we elect as President can’t seem to resist the temptation of being in power?
A: Because Malacanang is better known to ambitious politicians as “CameLOOT.”

oOo

Sa isang girls’ CR sa U.P. Diliman may nagsulat sa wall:
“My boyfriend and I had sex and now I’m pregnant”
Reply:
“Pray to God”

oOo

A person of intelligence is admired;
A person of wealth is envied;
A person of power is feared;
but a person with a HARD COCK, aba, all of the above yan. Keep it up!

oOo

“Hinatak ako ni Ibarra na tila isang kagamitang pagaari nya. Habang c Elias nama’y nasa aking likuran.. Nadama ko ang init ng kanilang damdamin mula sa aking kaibuturan. Halinhinan silang naptampisaw sa matamis na lawang ngayon pa lamang nakadanas ng ibayong kaligayahan.” -- Maria Clara(sinaunang Orgy/3s0me)

oOo

THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Dancing is a vertical
expression of a
horizontal desire. 😀

oOo

At a HOTEL in US.
Receptionst: excuse me Sir, Wiil u b staying here for a week?
AMERICAN: I’m afraid not!
Receptionst: How about u, Sir?
ERAP: I AM NOT AFRAID!:-P

oOo

A man said, “I can identify any drink while blindfolded.”
Blindfolded, he was given several glasses.
He said, “Johnnie Walker Blue ito!
San Miguel Pale Pilsen ito!
Pweh! Ihi ito!”
A voice asked, “Correct, pero kanino?”

oOo

All of the above SMS JOKES courtesy of Mike

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