SMS Jokes 76

ERAP na ang Pilipinas, wala ng MANNY ang mga pinoy, GIBO na din ang mga moral. Puro tambay na lang sa mga VILLARan, EDUkado man o mangmang, hirap mamuhay ng MARangal, AQUINO man sa kanila ang iboto, walang kasiguruhan na BAYANI ang mapipili. DICKdikin man natin ang utak natin, mahirap makakita ng PERFECTOng lider para mamuno sa PERLAS ng silangan. Pag BINAYaran pa ang boto natin EDDIE mag people power na tayo dyan sa kanto ng LEGARDA st. at NICANOR REYES at paabutin hangang ROXAS blvd. NOY to vote buying.;-)

oOo

(Holy Week 2010

Did you know what happened when news came out that Sen. Manny was the president bet of FG Mike? Manny denied the FG 3 times before the cock crowed!

oOo

Manny has agreed to play Jesus on one condition. His cross will be carried alternately by Adel, Gilbert and Alan Peter.oOo

PGMA never left the bedside of FG. She cannot afford to miss Mike’s seven last words, if any.

oOo

Several candidates have gone to the influential Manalo family. This tradition is called ‘Visita Iglesia.’

oOo

A guy came home to his wife and said to her: “Guess what? I found a great job. A 10am start, 2pm finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays 30,000 a week to boot.” “That’s great,” his wife said.

“Yeah, sounds unreal,” he agreed. “You start Monday.”

oOo

Men are like toilets

They’re either:

-Vacant

-Occupied

-Out of order

or

-Full of shit!

That’s why girls call them.,

BOILETS .. ‹

oOo

X and Y were in a public bath.

X: what shaving cream do u use?

Y: Mark’s

X: what deodorant do u use?

Y: Mark’s

X: which toothpaste do u use?

Y: Mark’s.

X: what shirt do u use?

Y: Mark’s.

X: Tell, me, what is this Mark’s? Is it a boutique?

Y: No, he’s my roomate! :-)

oOo

T0P LIES OF b0ys:

-promise, hindi kita iiwan..

-wala ak0ng ka-text..

-i’m with my friends..

-ikaw lang talaga..

-’friend’ ko lang yun..

-wala akong load..

-hindi kita ipagpapalit..

-kinalimutan ko na siya..

-miss na kita..

-mahal kita..

#1 LIE OF girls:

‘I BELIEVE IN YOU..’

oOo

Sen. Lito Lapid says he loves socializing, dancing, wining & dining so he feels very bad that he was not included in the Partylist! ..

oOo

Man: I’d really like to get into your pants.

Woman: No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there… :)

oOo

Two secrets to keep your marriage peaceful:

1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it!

2. Whenever you’re right, shut up!

oOo

One mother was worried about the bird tattoo her daughter had got below her navel. She thought what her future son-in-law would say.

When her daughter got married, she asked what her husband said. She replied, “Well, he didnt mind the bird, but he sure got excited when he saw its nest below it.”

oOo

After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, a youngster played a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly colored one. After a few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and broke the peacock’s legs.

oOo

When your wife says, “Well, what do you think?”

REMEMBER: She is not asking for YOUR opinion. She is asking for HER opinion, from your mouth!

oOo

If Holy Week traffic in Baguio is getting on your nerves, take a note of wisdom from this sign in a Tokyo street:

“When a passenger on foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet at him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage, then tootle him with vigor.”

oOo

Women! Who can figure ‘em out? Now that the kids are grown and gone, my wife sez she needs more “outside

interests”. I thought I’d surprise her with a brand new fancy lawn mower. Now she’s mad at me!

oOo

** ALL OF THE ABOVE† SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE

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