TOMMY: Pop, what is a freethinker?
POP: A freethinker, my son, is a man who isn’t married.
oOo
3 guys at a ski lodge.
There aren’t enough rooms so they share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this dream of getting a hand job.” Guy on the left wakes up too and says he had the same dream. The guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny. I dreamt I was skiing.”
oOo
Her Father: So my daughter has consented to become your wife. Have you fixed the day of the wedding?
Suitor: I leave that to my fiancee.
Her Father: Will you have a church or a private wedding?
Suitor: Her mother can decide that, sir.
Her Father: What have you to live on?
Suitor: I leave that entirely to you, sir.
oOo
Question: What’s the difference between a pussy cat and a pussy?
Answer: One hates water while the other loves to be wet!
oOo
“How long have you been working here?” one employee said to another.
“Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.”
oOo
Some smiling facts
1: Fuck a girl & she’ll love you.. Love a girl & she’ll fuck you!
2: M0st men have split pers0nalities; they hate cats but love pussies.
3: The w0rd “naked” & “nude” are n0t d same. Naked implies unpr0tected. Nude means unclothed.
4: W0men give sex to get love, men give love to get sex..
5: C0mm0n thing between a girl’s legs & butter: b0th are delici0us when spread.
oOo
Finally! Studies have been done & here’s the result on the survey on “How Professionals Have Sex”:
Doctors – As prescribed!
Med Rep – By samples
Dentists – Orally
Nurses- By shifts
Boxers- By rounds
Teachers- By demonstrations
Lawyers-.?.?.?
-While lying!
oOo
Please don’t ever dare to say…
I TRUST YOU…
because nowadays, it is tantamount to saying…
I CONDOM YOU.
oOo
In a street accident, a woman tried to help the victim but suddenly a nurse came in and said, “Ms. excuse me! Please stand back! I’ve a course in first aid and i’m trained in giving CPR.”
The woman stepped aside, watched the procedure and said, “If you need a doctor I’m just at your back.”
oOo
**All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of Mike
