SMS Jokes 83

Quote For The Day:

Hindi mo ako kayang labanan kahit gaano ka pa katapang o kalakas. – ANTOK

 

oOo

Erap, when sked why he fathered so many children out of wedlock, answered, “Di ko nman talaga binabalak yan. Siguro SPERM OF THE  MOMENT Lang!

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Wife goes to Rustan’s, sees men’s underwear on sale. She buys a dozen of the same colour. Goes home and gives to hubby. Hubby protests “why buy me the same colour? People wil think I do not change underwear!” Wife asks “Which people?”

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A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong…”Ohhh, it’s my girlfriend.”

“What’s the problem?”

“When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education.”

oOo

Tinanggap na ng marami na totoong MAHIRAP talaga si Villaroyo….Mahirap paniwalaan!

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A tourist ask a man in uniform, “Are you a policeman?”

“No, I am an undercover detective.”

“So why are you in uniform?”

“Today is my day off!”

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DON”T FORGET WHEN VOTING this election:

Ibalik si Jiggoy sa… kulungan?

Ibalik si Sotto sa….EAT BULAGA?

Ibalik si Enrile sa…Home for the aged?

Ibalik si Revilla sa…sinehan?

Ibalik si Lapid sa …Chicharon?

Dagdagan pa natin…

Ibalik si Miriam sa… NMH!

Ibalik si Satur sa…bundok!

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A sign outside a brothel…

“Married mean are not allowed, we are here to serve the needy not the greedy.”

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Erap as a cop…

MAN: Officer! There’s a bomb n my garden!

ERAP: Don’t worry, sir! If no one claims it within 3 days, you can keep it!

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Nahuli ng mg Abu sayaf si Erap at iba pang mga tao…

ABU: Mamatay na kayong lahat! hahahaha! Turukan ko kayo ng Aids!

(Erap pinigilan ang tawa)

LALAKI: ui mamamatay na tayo natatawa ka pa jan…

ERAP: Natatawa kaSI ako eh…

LALAKI: Bakit ba?

ERAP: Kasi di naman ako magkakaroon ng AIDS kahit ano gawin nila.

LALAKI: oh talaga? buti ka pa…may bakuna na ba dun??

ERAP: wala pa noh… naasuot kasi ako ng condom kaya di ako magkaka AIDS! hahaha! Gusto mo din? Meron pa ako dito.

oOo

PACQUIAO: Kay Villa ako kasi pareho kaming Manny.

BATA REYES: Ako rin. Kasi nga, may money na, may bilyar pa.

PACQUIAO: Ala ka naman ngipin, bweset!

oOo

ALL OF THE ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE

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