SMS Jokes 87

Nag concede na mga presidentiables kay NoyNoy, si Erap ay ayaw pa kasi nakita nya sa PCOS machine na nag ‘congratulations’ sa kanya. Sure na panalo na sya.

oOo

Some Birthday Messages Left on Sen. Mar’s Answering Machine Yesterday:

1. Mar, si Loren to. Ayaw kong makipagplastikan. Kung malungkot ka sa birthday mo, masayang-masaya ako for Jojo. Tandaan mo kung kay Noli never akong nag-concede, lalong hindi sayo.

2. Isang mainit na pagbati sa iyong kaarawan! Si Chiz ito. Ilang tulog na lang 2016 na. Handa ka na ba?

3. Mar, kamusta? Si Erap to. Wag kang malungkot. Bday na bday mo pa naman. Alam mo ang regalo ko sayo? Sssssh, wag kang maingay. Atin lang to. Yung VP ko… walang B. Walang boto mula sakin. Ayos ba?

4. Mar, partner, si Noy to. Hapi bday tol! Wag kang mag-alala. Kung matalo ka man, dito parin ako. Remember, single ako. Since wala akong 1st Lady, baka interesado kang maging 1st Gent o kaya 1st Best Friend. Basta walang malisya, bro. 🙂

oOo

Heard da funniest theory whyMar Roxas is losing- voters thought Mars real name is jejoMAR

oOo

M1: Mare, nag-e-exercise ba asawa mo?
M2: Oo.
M1: Anong excercise?
M2: Marami:
nagbubuhat ng sariling bangko, tumatakbo sa utang at umiiwas sa responsibilidad.:-D

oOo

Joke: A Pinoy cannibal was walking thru the jungle and came upon a restaurant owned by a fellow canibal. Feeling hungry, he sat down & read the menu:
adobong pulis 150 pesos,
nilagang doctor 170 pesos,
pritong guro 120 pesos,
inihaw na politico 800 pesos…

Customer: bakit mahal ang inihaw na politico?
Owner: kasi sa sobrang kapal ng balat… MATAGAL LUTUIN!

oOo

Sa tanang presidentiables, ang pinakakusog sa mga Bisaya si Noynoy gyud! Bisan asa – sa jeep, sa merkado, sige mdunggan:

sa jeep.. NOY, bayad!
sa merkado.. tagpila ni, NOY?
sa dalan.. asa ka NOY?
sa tindahan.. pa-utanga ko NOY!
sa terminal.. itlog mo, NOY, orange!

oOo

Anak:nay!
Ano meaning
nung “RIP” did2 sa krus ne tatay?

Nanay: Dah! Ang hina mo naman, ‘nak! Eh di
“Regardz Imung Papa”;-)

oOo

As the ratio of women is decreasing, so in the next decades names on marriage announcements might look like this…

James and Raul wed Mona.

oOo

Teacher: Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field.”

Erap: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
Teacher: Huh? Explain.
Erap: Ladies first!

oOo

With time, women gain weight because they amass so much data and wisdom in their heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of…
…ow smart I am!” Must be where the term ‘SMART ASS’ came from!

oOo

Husband: Whenever I get mad at you, you never seem to get upset. How do you control your temper.
Wife: I just go and clean the comfort room.
Husband: How does that help?
Wife: I use your toothbrush.

oOo

All of the above SMS jokes courtesy of MIKE

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