SMS Jokes 94

Erap is standing at a vending machine putting money in the slot and collecting can after can after can of Coke. Jinggoy behind him is getting impatient, “For God’s sake, Dad, bilisan mo naman!” Sagot ni Erap, “Hindi mo ba nakikita, nananalo ako!”:-P

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Noynoy: Tito Erap, anu ho sikreto nyo at MA -CHICS pa rin kau ngayon?
Erap: Utang kong lahat eto kay Ninoy!
Noynoy: TALAGA?!
Erap: Hindi ako nawawalan ng Ninoy sa WALLET!

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Baka Nakalimutan Ninyo Ang Sariling Wika…

  • Abuloy.. Bayad sa nahigop na kape at nanguyang biskwit sa nilamayang sakla.
  • Bale.. Suweldong inutang.
  • Kabag.. Utot na naipon sa tiyan.
  • E.. Ireng paseksi.
  • Gahasa.. Romansang walang ligawan.
  • Gipit.. Kalagayan ng tao na suki na ng sanglaan.
  • Handaan.. Magdamagan na palakihan ng tiyan.
  • Hipo.. Haplos na may malisya.
  • Imposible.. Pagtaas ng unano.
  • Mano.. Kaugaling Pinoy na nakakapudpod ng noo.
  • Ngalngal.. Iyak ng walang ipen.
  • Ngisi.. Tawang tulo-laway.
  • Paa.. Bahagi ng katawan na amoy lupa.
  • Regla.. Masungit na panahon ng pagkababae.
  • Sampal.. Haplos na nakakatigas ng mukha.
  • Ta.. Ikli ng ‘tita’ o lalaking may bra. 🙂

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Political Tidbits:

Noy Aquino says he will not live at the Arlegui mansion because “Living in it, by myself, will just emphasize being alone,” to which Ninoy and Cory said, “Anak, hindi ka nag-iisa!” AWOO! 😀

Now it can be told. Remember when Noy promised to share 80% of his job with Mar. Rumors say Mar told Noy, “You want me to do 80% of the job? Who do you think you are, Korina?!“;-)

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Mukha kang tanga sa bago mong gupit.

Palusot #1 – Ano ngaun, naunahan ko na kayo sa latest trend sa hairstyle.. Ako palang may gupit na ganito.. Inggit!

Palusot #2 – Alam nyo, sinadya ko ito para mapansin nyo ako. Tingnan nyo.. Pansin kaagad baka ma discover pa nga ako sa showbiz.

Palusot #3 – Ah eto ba. Ganito daw kasi yung gupit ng character ko. May ginagawa kasi kaming play sa Repertory Philippines..

Palusot #4 Naawa ako sa pinsan ko nagseseminar kay Ricky Reyes walang nagvolunteer. Napagpraktisan lang po.:-D

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Ara Mina: I want size 30 BRA.
Saleslady: Ma’am, I think it’s too small for your breasts.
Ara: It’s not for my breasts, stupid! It’s for my Nipples! Boba!:-D

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Jai-Alai result:

Mare: Sus, pare! Kalahati lang ang lumabas sa akin.
Pare: Ako, mare, dulo lang.
Mare: Pare, kung ang dulo mo ang tumama sa hati ko, panalo tayong dalawa!:-*

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LALAKI: Honey, paki ipit nga nang konti!
BABAE: He! Nag titi ka nang maliit tapos gagawin mong Vise Grip ang pekpek ko! 😛

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PGMA dies & goes to heaven. When she got there, St. Pete tells her that she belongs to hell. Satan gives her a warm welcome & tells her to make herself at home. Then PGMA notices she left her luggage in heaven. “No problem,” says Satan, “I’ll send some little devils to get your stuff.”

When the little devils get to heaven & find the gates locked, they started thinking on what to do. Finally, one came up with idea of scaling the wall & get the luggage.

As they were climbing the wall, two little angels see them, & one angel said, “My goodness! Ate Glue has been in hell no more than 30 minutes, & we’re already getting refugees!”:-D

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Congman-elect Manny Pacquiao says he is set to enroll in U. P. in preparation for his new job as Sarangani’s representative. Asked if he’s enrolling in a crash course, he replied, “Kungrisista na aku, hindi pilutu! Gagu!:-|

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ALL OF THE ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE

2 thoughts on “SMS Jokes 94

  1. Pampalubag loob sa hindi kagandahan araw ng Miyerkules. Sana bigay ni Noy kahit 0.5% ng work niya. Bahala na sila nila Mar, Korina at siya sa natitira. lols

    Love your blog’s current theme/layout.

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