Jinggoy: Dad, bakit lumulubog ang karayom sa tubig? eh ang barko, napakabigat di lumulubog?
Erap: Common sense lang anak, panong di lulubog yung karayom eh may butas yun sa dulo!
Sabi ni P-Noy sa masa sa Luneta: “kayo ang boss ko.”
Nasabi niya iyon kasi wala pa siyang asawa!
Bagong kasal naghanimon sa ibang lugar. Naligaw sila at napadpad sa simbahan. Sila’y pinatuloy ng kura at pinatulog sa 2nd floor.
Sa kalagitnaan ng gabi nayanig ang 2nd floor.
PARI: Ano ba nangyayari dyan?
LALAKI: Wala po, 1st time lang po namin.
Paglipas ng 1ng oras naulit muli.
PARI: Ano nangyayari dyan?
LALAKI: Wala po, 2nd flight lang po namin.
Pagkalipas ng 1ng oras ang 1st floor ang nayanig.
LALAKI: Father, ano nangyayari dyan?
PARI: Wala, nag sosolo flight lang!
FIFA WORLD CUP Trivia:
Girls are the best goalkeeper in the league.
Because no matter what, they will never let the ball go in!!!
A man came home with a tube of KY Jelly and told his wife, “This will make you happy tonight.”
He was right! When he went out of the bedroom, the wife squirted it all over the doorknob… he couldn’t get back in!
BOY: hay naku! mahirap talaga maging gwapo.
GiRL: oo nga eh, pasalamat ka, hindi mo naranasan.
(Baby James nakikipag-usap sa yaya)
Baby James: Yaya, am i normal?
Yaya: obkors iho, you’r not lyk dem. Why ask you to me?
Baby James: I’m so confused. My Grandpa is Ninoy,
my uncle is Noynoy,
my brother is abnoy,
my dad is chickboy,
my mom is lover of boys.
-ambot nimu baby james!
A woman walked into kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
SHE – What are you doing?
HE – Hunting flies.
SHE – Oh! Killing any?
HE – Yep. 3 males & 2 females.
SHE – How can you tell them apart?
HE – Easy, 3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.
Juan, with a chronic cold, consults a herbalist.
Herbalist: You must eat a lot of fruits, including the skin. By the way, what’s your favorite fruit?
Juan: Coconut, Durian & pineapple.
The children in a Catholic elementary school were lined up for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. A nun wrote a note, “Take onlyone. God is watching.”
Moving further down the line, there was a large pile of chocolate chips. A child had written a note,” Take all you want! God is watching the apples.”
A nice and cool quote from our national hero:
“ang taong hindi marunong mag mahal sa sariling wika…
ay isang….”J E J E M O N “
One boy took a girl to a motel
The girl was so hot she was wearing a transparent dress thru which evrything was visible.
The girl laid on d bed & spreadher legs.
The boy went near
To be continued….
Pasaload P5 for the next episode naman,
ALL OF THE ABOVE SMS JOKES courtesy of MIKE