SMS Jokes 111

INDAY:Ang gwapo ni sir, ano kay gagawin ko para mapansin ako? Ah ilagay ko nga sa mesa ang panty ko.
SIR: Kaninong panty ito?
INDAY: Akin po.
SIR: May tae!

oOo

QUESTION: Bakit ang aso pag-umihi nakataas ang isang paa sa pader?
ANSWER: Para hindi mahulog ang pader!

oOo

Isang gabi sa bahay nung pupil pa lang si Erap. . .
ERAP:  Tay, siguro magiging agriculturist ako paglaki ko.
TATAY:  Bakit mo nasabi yan anak?
ERAP:  Kasi Tay, sinasabihan ako lagi ng titser ko…go home and plant camote!

oOo

A pinoy in New York was masturbating while looking at the sky. An American asked. “Hey, what are you doing?”
“Fucking my wife in the Philippines via satellite!” The pinoy replied.

oOo

PARI: Ikaw ha, nanilip ka raw kay sister!
SAKRISTAN: Sorry po.
PARI: Anong nasilip mo sa kanya?
SAKRISTAN: Wala po father, kasi nakaharang po puwet nyo!!!

oOo

5 palatandaan na ang isang lalaki na gaya mo ay tumatanda na:
1. Lumalayo ang paningin at lumalapit ang pag ihi;
2. Nakaupo… inaantok, nakahiga… hindi makatulog;
3. Natandaan pa ang nakaraan at nakakalimutan ang kasalukuyan;
4. May naisip ang itaas walang magawa ang ibaba;
5. Dati.. matigas na naghihintay, ngayon naghihintay kung kailan titigas.

oOo

11 people were hanging on a rope from a helicopter. 10 men & a woman. Rope was not strong enough for 11, one had to go.
They couldn’t decide who. Woman gives a speech saying she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman she’s used to always making sacrifices for her husband & kids. All the men clapped their hands.

oOo

An applicant filling out a job application answered ‘No’ to the question, ‘Have you ever been arrested?’
Next question for those who answered ‘Yes’ to the previous question was ‘Why?’
The applicant answered it anyway: ‘Never got caught.’ :D

oOo

NANAY: Ayusin mo ang kama mo!
BRYAN: ‘Nay, magugulo naman uli yan, bakit ko pa aayusin? Para lang akong nagmahal, tapos, masasaktan lang muli….
NANAY: Ay sorry, anak! Emo ka?!

oOo

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