EVA: alin ang mas malinis,ang ihi nming mga babae o ang ihi nyong mga lalaki?
ADAN: syempre ang ihi nming mga lalaki kasi sa tubo dumaan. ang ihi nyong mga babae sa kanal dumaan.
oOo
A baby mosquito came back after its 1st flight.
Dad asked: “How was it?”
Baby: “Dad it’s wonderful. Everyone was clapping for me”:D
oOo
Tarzan naligo hubad kasama ang elepante.
TARZAN: Huy, ang laki ng sa akin noh?
ELEPANTE: Diyos ko, malaki ba yan?? Bakit nga ba diyan napunta ilong mo?
oOo
Lord,wag mo kaming pabayaan! Ang bansa namin ay matagal ng naghihirap. Binigyan mo kami nung…
1986- biyudang walang alam.
1992-tabako king mukhang talakitok’ sundalong nagpayaman lang
1998-babaero, lasinggero, jueteng king, magnanakaw naman, tapos inagaw ng nagpanggap na mabait na ala Nora Aunor ang dating hayop pala sa kawalanghiyaan.
Ngayon naman, MATUWID AT MAKATAO ang naging pangulo! HINDI PO KAMI SANAY.. Waaahhh!!!
oOo
In view of her being a congresswoman now, ex-Pres Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo has changed her initials from PGMA to REGLA, (REp GLoria Arroyo). Several people are saying that this is another Lie. At her age this can’t be true!
oOo
Wife of an old man died and friends and family were gathered at the graveside service.
The service was barely over when there was massive thunder claps followed by even more thunder rumblings.
Widower looks at the priest and calmly said, “Well, she’s already there.”:D
oOo
Women: Love to wear mini skirts to feel the breeze between their butts.
Men: Love to SEE women wearing those mini skirts and try to BE the breeze between their butts!
oOo
A man watching basketball on TV kept switching channels to a raunchy porn showing a lusty couple having sex.
“I don’t know whether to watch them or the game,” he told his wife.
“For heaven’s sake, watch them,” wife said. “You already know how to play basketball!”
oOo
UNIQUE SIGNS…
Golf Course Entrance Sign: >ENTER COURSE HERE!
Sign beside copier at Sen.Lapid’s office: >NO ONE WILL BE ALLOWED TO USED SECRETARY’SREPRODUCTIVE UNIT!
Cinema Lobby: >BEWARE OF PRICKPOCKETS!
Maternity Ward Signs: >ALL VISITORS – HUSBANDS ONLY! & ONLY ONE HUSBAND PER PATIENT!
oOo
For texters everywhere..
joy, delight, success and victory over struggles can be summarized in two words:
MESSAGE SENT!:D
oOo
Before, in all the fairy tales…
-the prince will fall inlove wth the princess
-n the prince will fight the witch, the dragons n all the other monsters to have his princess
-but nowadays, the prince would simply fall inlove wth another prince n they would live happily ever after! He he he.
oOo
The Van Gogh family:
A dizzy aunt=Verti Gogh
A Mexican cousin=A Mee Gogh
A ballroom dancing aunt=Tang Gogh
A fruit-loving cousin=Man Gogh!
Have a great day, Ami Gogh!
oOo
Importance of the thumb:
_ Roman kings use it to signify life or death
_ children use it for sucking
_ hitchhikers use it to get a ride
_ shooters use it to cock their guns
_ priests use it to anoint
_ illiterates use it as signature
_ winners use it as victory sign…
_ and my fans use it to read my text messages… Hehehe!
oOo
What is the next thing that a husband has to do after winning an argument with his wife?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ano pa, e di APOLOGIZE!:D
oOo
A father was showing his son the family album, and came across his wedding picture. The son asks, “Was that the day Mom came to work for us?”
oOo
All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of MIKE
