Ano difference ng chicken sa chicks? Ang chicken ME pakpak, ang chicks ME pekpek!
ANO difference ng pakpak sa pekpek? Ang pakpak pag buka lipad bird ang pekpek pagbuka dapo bird!
CHICK: “Tang, ayos ka na ba? Kung ilan beses mo nang ipinapasok ,ayaw pang lumabas, huwag mo ng pilitin. Kung d pwede, di pwede talaga. Bilisan n’yo at marami pang nakapila!”
TATANG: “Pasensya na, wala talagang kwenta pag matanda ka na. Nakalimutan ko number ng ATM Card ko.”
Hmmm…and what are u thinking?
Kapag SPAGHETTI ang nasa mesa..
ITALIAN: Pasta succulente! Italy’s pride!
KANO: It’s dinner time!
PINOY: Wow! Sinong may bertday?
The similitarity of P-noy and Erap:
1. they have pang masa name;
2. they have Tiyanak-alike Vice Presidents;
3. they are insecure of intelligent persons like d one in Pagasa;
4. first month of office- PAL pilot on strike.
A boy wr0te his m0m:
“D0n’t bother to find me i’m far away I eloped with sarah she’s 27 and her child is 7 yrs.old. I kn0w i’m still 17, we’re ok. I’m selling marijuana while she’s selling her body in order for us to live…
We wish that there’s cure for AIDS so sarah will be fine. By the way ma…she aborted our firts baby. She said it’s ok…coz we can always make an0ther. S0rry if i cAn’t pers0naly say Goodbye! Sorry Ma!”
Everythng i wr0te was just a j0ke i’m just here at d neighb0rz hauz..
Uwi din aq mamya..
A sunday school teacher said to her class “we have been learning how powerful kings & queens were in bible times. But there is a higher power. Can any one tell me what it is?”
One child blurted out… “aces!”
An 81-yr old guy heard a voice, “Pick me up.”.. He looked around and saw a talking frog.
FROG: “Kiss me, and I shall turn into a beautiful woman; and I shall give you sexual pleasure all you want.”
The old man, instead of kissing it, just placed the frog in his pocket.
FROG: “Are you nuts?! Did you hear what I said?”
OLD MAN: “Yes, but at my age, I’d rather have a talking frog.”
Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, ” two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.” His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing? Is this how your teacher taught you to do it?” “Yes, he answered.” Infuriated,she called up Little Johnny’s teacher the next day, “What are you teaching my son in class?” The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.” The mother asked, ” And are you teaching them to say 2+2, that son of a bitch is 4?” After the teacher stopped laughing, “What I taught them was, 2+2,the sum of which is 4.”
Ngayong limitado lang ang tubig dapat…
Tumayo sa palanggana kapag naliligo para maipon ang pinagliguan at gamiting pambuhos sa inidoro.
Ipang dilig ang tubig na pinaghugasan ng bigas.
Prituhin nalang ang bigas.
Soft drinks ang ipangligo.
Wag muna magrally ang aktibista para hindi muna magbomba ng tubig ang mga pulis.:D
Ang taong Mapagkumbaba…
Kausap si Mahal!!!:D
Bef0re, Managers used to give dictation to their Secretaries..
Now, Secretaries give
dick-tension to their bosses!
If your world spins and spins around, and your heart is beating faster, do u think ur in love?
Wag mag ilusyon!..
HIGHBLOOD ka lang!
All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of MIKE