SMS Jokes 129

Business Newsflash!
Facebook, YouTube, Myspace and Friendster have merged!
The new company will be called..
“FacYouMyFriend!”

oOo

BOLD SHOW:
Paghubad ng damit at bra ng GRO, palakpak at hiyawan lahat! Pag hubad ng panty, tumahimik lahat.
GRO: “Anung nangyari sa inyo?”
LALAKI: “Hindi kami makapalapak ng isang kamay lang!”

oOo

(hit n run)
PULIS:”Sinong witness sa pangyayari.”
BOY: “Ako po.”
PULIS: “Nakuha mo ba yung plate number?”
BOY: “Di po kasi naka turnilyo!”

oOo

Lolo nakalimutan itaas ang zipper niya.
Apo: “Lolo, ang zipper nyo ha ay nakabukas.”
Lolo: “Ok lang iho. Ang patay na ibon ay hindi lumilipad.”

oOo

Isang lalaki nagmamadali pumasok sa simbahan at sumigaw: “Ihinto kasal, me asawa na ang babaeng yan!”
Sumagot ng pasigaw ang pari: “Brod tumahimik ka! Binyag ito!”

oOo

MISIS:”Napapansin ko iba ang mga tingin mo dyan sa kasambahay natin.”
MISTER: “Puro ka duda! Hindi nga kita pinagdudahan sa pagkuha mo ng driver! Kahit wala naman tayo kotse!”

oOo

Kano 2 GRO:”Care 4 a cigarete?”
GRO: “Sori, i don’t smoke short-size.”
Kano(touchng his organ): “‘Bout dis?”
GRO: “No, I dont smoke long-size”
Kano: “Wat size do U want?”
GRO: “I only smoke CIRCUM-SIZE!”

oOo

Sa party…

MOM: Son, please lead the prayer.
SON: Paano po?
MOM: Just pray what you heard me kanina.
SON: Diyos ko! Bakit ko inimbita ang mga taong ito?

oOo

Patient: “Doc, I always see spots before my eyes.”
Doc: “Didn’t the new glasses help?”
Patient: “Sure, now the spots are CLEARER!”

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A man walking down a boardwalk runs into a hooker, and he asks, “How much?”
She says, “A thousand bucks.”
He agrees, they climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her.
The next night, he runs into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time while he’s banging her, she has two incredible farts. When they get done, he hands her five hundred bucks.
She asks why the extra five hundred, and he replies, “That’s for blowing the sand off my balls.”

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A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
“I’m O. K. but I didn’t like the four-letter words the surgeon used during the operation,” he replied.
“What did he say,” asked the nurse.
“OOOPS…!”

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STAGES OF MARRIAGE:
Year 1: Man goes home, Wife gives slippers and the Dog barks.
Year 2: Man goes home, Dog gives slippers and Wife barks.
Year 3: At home, Man and Wife bark. SLIPPERS HIT DOG!

oOo

A diner in the cafe asked the waiter, “What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup?”
The waiter looked for a minute and said, “learning to read, sir.”

oOo

ANAK:’nay natinik po ako.”
INA: “Kumain ka ng kanin o saging.”
ANAK:”Ayaw pa rin eh”
Nay: “San ka ba natinik?”
Anak: “Sa talampakan!”

oOo

BOY: “Baby, ikaw ang susi ng puso ko…”
GIRL: “Aww, really? eh siya, ano siya…”
BOY: “Siya naman ang duplicate mo.”

oOo

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