Category: GENERAL |
Archive for 7 October, 2010
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SMS Jokes 129
Business Newsflash!
Facebook, YouTube, Myspace and Friendster have merged!
The new company will be called..
“FacYouMyFriend!”
oOo
BOLD SHOW:
Paghubad ng damit at bra ng GRO, palakpak at hiyawan lahat! Pag hubad ng panty, tumahimik lahat.
GRO: “Anung nangyari sa inyo?”
LALAKI: “Hindi kami makapalapak ng isang kamay lang!”
oOo
(hit n run)
PULIS:”Sinong witness sa pangyayari.”
BOY: “Ako po.”
PULIS: “Nakuha mo ba yung plate number?”
BOY: “Di po kasi naka turnilyo!”
Category: HUMOR, October 2010, SMS Jokes 2010 |
Tags: Green Jokes, jokes, lafftrip, Pinoy Jokes, SMS Jokes
Do-It-Yourself Mom
Being a single mom, I always dread when house problem arises or when there are repairs that needsimmediate solution. Having no mate to rely on to do the fix, there are times that I just apply the rule of thumb that “hammer-or-duct-tape-fixes-anything”.
Well, in tough economy that a single mom faces daily, sometimes I just don’t have the luxury to hire a professional to do the repairs.Whenever things go wrong that need easy and quick fix, with a little help of my recent purchase of bifocal safety glasses (I have poor vision) plus some MacGyver ways on solving problems, whenever I am able to resolve troubles at home, the least that I can say is, I did it my way – and I did it all by myself!
Esep-Esep 6
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Kahapon pa ako pabalik-balik ng pagbukas ng notepad ng ‘pyuter ko. Pero nauuwi sa tunganga lang ang nagagawa ko. Gusto ko mag blog pero lintek naman, wala akong maisip na i-chuva. Nawawalan na ng sustansya ang utak ko. Malamang apekted ‘to sa patuloy na pagbaba ng timbang ko. Oo, tinimbang ako lately ngunit kulang pa rin.
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Speaking of timbang, paseksi ako ng paseksi. Syet! Ka-afraid at baka pag-interesan ang pagiging yummy ko ng mga aso sa daan. Baka mapagkamalan nila akong naglalakad na buto. Pati fez ko, paliit ng paliit. Syet ulit! Ayoko maging sobrang kyut dahil nagmumukhang akong togue.
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Gusto kong umeskapo. Ang mawala ng sandali. Yung magpakalayo-layo muna. Yung ako lang mag-isa. Pumunta sa isang lugar na malayo. Yung walang makakakilala sa akin na mga fans. Dun sa lugar na hindi ako sikat. Charooot!
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Pag nawala kaya ako o kaya naglaho, may maghanap kaya sa akin? May maka-miss kaya sa Maruism (senti-mode)? Ipanawagan kaya ako ng mga bagets ko? Hanapin kaya ako ni Kups? Charooot ulit.
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Mahirap din ang walang nakakausap. Mahirap maghanap ng paraan para ma-maintain ang katinuan. Wiz ko naman type ang maging babaeng-grasa someday kaya naghahanap na lang talaga ako ng mapagkakatuwaan dito sa balay. Kanina lang, eto ang saglit kong pinagkatuwaan panoorin…
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Ewan ko kung anong klaseng insekto yan. Basta natuwa akong panoorin sya kung paano niya nililigtas sarili nya sa loob ng timba na puno ng tubig. Kakaawang mag-isa na nakasampa sa tabo. Para syang na-Ondoy. Hmmmn…kakasawa na kasi manood ng porn sa net kaya eto na lang watch ko para maiba naman at baka may kapulutan ng aral. Wahaha!
Our Home – Bedroom
May natira pa pala akong hindi nai-post sa Our Home series of post ko. Natingga sa aparador ng mga DRAFT entries ko.
Last December 2009 nang pinunturahan ko ng ponkan na ponkan na kulay ang bedroom ko. Tukso pa nga sa akin, parang SOGO Motel daw ang kwarto ko dahil sa kulay! Lol!
Ok lang naman noon kay Kups ang kulay ng kwarto ko pero ayaw ng sister ko kesyo madilim daw ang dating. Siempre dinedma ko lang ang komento noong una. Kebs ko naman eh sa gusto ko ang kulay na orange. Bakit ba!
Pero dahil sa isa akong moret na papalit-palit ng isip, naisipan ko rin i-repaint last July ang kwarto. At dahil kauupo lang din noon ng bagong presidente ng Pinas na si Noynoy at fan ako ng taklesa niyang sister – yellow ang kulay na ipinalit ko! Hehe! I’m so julius babaw talaga.
Ayan, impernes lumiwanag at sumigla naman ang ambience ng kwarto ko kahit hindi ko malaman kung paano ipu-pwesto ang kama at ibang gamit. Juice ko, halos makuba ako noon sa kabubuhat ng kama.
Kalurkey ang shade/kulay ng aparador namin, iba-iba! Lol!
Ayus! Next time, post ko naman yung indoor swimming pool at garahe namin na may 3 luxury cars na nakaparada. Wahaha!
The Old Ways
Food processing now has really evolved from simple ways into more complicated and dubious methods. Today, food companies use to process our food with thousands of additives, preservatives and chemicals that many of them have harmful effect on our health. That is why we better be responsible on ourselves on cleaning up our organs like colon from toxins. Let’s take initiative to seek colon cleansers that can help our intestines wash out toxic materials to prevent development of cancer in the future. Oh, how I missed the old folks or our ancestors when they preserved foods naturally, using salt, fermentation, sun drying and where food before are healthier and much safer to eat.
SMS Jokes 128
Huhuhu! Lagi na lang bang ganito? Nakatago? Wala na ba aköng karapatang masilayan? Kahit maituwid man lang? ~ Pubic hair
oOo
Man1: “Pare, inom tayo.”
Man2: “Bakit ba yang pareng ‘toy mula ng iniwan ng asawa ay ayaw ng uminon?”
Man1: “Syempre, dahil wala na siyang dahilan para uminom pa!”
oOo
Sa isang jeep:
Bata: “Bayad po.”
Driver: “San galing?”
Bata: “Sa nanay ko.”
Driver: (nainis)
Bata: “Ma, pakibaba nga ako jan sa may kanto..”
Driver: “Bakit? lumpo k ba?”
oOo
If your wife is getting fat, let her walk 3kms in the morning and 3kms in the afternoon.
By the end of the month she will be 180kms away from you. Odiba?
Category: HUMOR, October 2010, SMS Jokes 2010 |
Tags: Green Jokes, jokes, lafftrip, Pinoy Jokes, SMS Jokes
No Direct Effect
I went to the mall this afternoon for some errands and to pick up several items at the supermarket. While inside the supermarket particularly in the beverage section, can’t help but notice the fast rising of various brands of drinking beverages that contains acetyl l carnitine or L-Carnitine for short. Juices with L- Carnitine are really in!
However, consumers (especially those who wants to lose weight), should understand that simply drinking beverages with L-Carnitine will not make you lose weight – you still need to exercise. Although L-Carnitine helps in turning fat into energy, it has however, no direct effect on weight loss. Well, that is how I understand it from my reading on the web about Acetyl L-Carnitine.
BER Months
Whew! How time flies so fast! The last time I remembered it was only summer and how I complained about the scorching heat of El Nino! Now the BER months are here. The weather is starting to get cold in the morning and chilly in the evening. Well, it’s time for me now to pull out and wear those stocks of jackets, cardigans and sweaters from the closet to help keep me cozy and same time stylish through December.
SMS Jokes 127
Erap at Sen. Lapid magkasamang nagiinuman.
Tinaas ni Erap ang baso nya at sinabi, “Here’s hoping you’re in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you’re dead!”
“Huh? Ano yun?” tanong ni Sen. Lapid.
“Irish toast yun,” mayabang na sagot ni Erap.
“Ganun ba? Well, here’s to tinapay, itlog, at gatas!”
“Ano iyon?” tanong ni Erap.
“French Toast iyon!”:-D
oOo
GF: “Ala’y kelan ga tayo papakasal?”
BF: “Ay, saan mo ga gusto ikasal, sa pari o sa mayor?”
GF: “Natural ay di sa iyo, e bakit mo ga ko pnamimigay?”
oOo
TEACHER: “Imagine u are a millionaire.Write your life history.”
(1 boy didn’t write.)
TEACHER: “WhY are you not writing?”
BOY: “I’m waitin for my secretary to take notes..”
oOo
Mother Pig: “What did you learn in school today?”
First Piglet: “Oink! Oink!”
Second Piglet: “Oink! Oink!”
Third Piglet: “Woof! Woof!”
Mother Pig: “What?”
Third Piglet: “I’m taking a foreign language.”
oOo
May isang pagong na umibig sa isang baboy.
Isang araw, naglakas loob ang pagong na magtapat sa baboy. “Minamahal kita nang buong puso!”
Sumagot ang baboy, “Kami na ni kuneho! Ambagal mo kasi!”;-)
oOo
Kapag balisa ka..
remember your family.
Kapag inis ka..
control yourself.
Kapag may problema ka..
pray.
Kapag wala kang pera..
isipin mo, hindi ka nag-iisa.
At kapag taglibog, huwag ka nang mag-isip..
nandito ako, nanginginig pa!:-P
oOo
Pinoy talasalitaan:
KALMOT: haplos ng nasasarapan
DAKMA: hawak ng sobra sa pagnanasa
DAHAS: pwersang pakiusap sa maarteng kausap
GAHASA: romansang walang ligawan
BATI: pagroromansa sa sarili sa pamamagitan ng kamay
MAHAL: damdaming nakakabuntis
O: sarap na pinipigil
OOH: sarap ng di mapigil-pigil
OOOOOHHHHH: sarap na sarap na di papipigil
HAHAHA: tawa ng manyakis ng nagbabasa nito
oOo
An urgent call was put in for a plumber at noon but he didn’t arrive till 5 hours later. “How is it?” he asked entering the house.
“Not so bad,” replied the homeowner. “While waiting for you to arrive I taught the wife how to swim.”
oOo
** thank you so much MIKE, for the above SMS Jokes! 
