oOo
Babaeng bulol sa loob ng taxi:
BABAE:”dlaybel alam mo tong adles?”
DRIVER:”ano pong address?”
BABAE:”siksik oten patay titi!”
DRIVER:”patingin nga….ah….66010 PASAY CITY!”
oOo
Bakit nakakamatay ang butter?
Because….
It’s ment ti kil ya!
oOo
Laugh is..
ang gamitin para madaling magbura pag may mali!
oOo
Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord. . . “God, what does a million years mean to you?” The Lord replies, “A minute.”
Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to! you?” The Lord replies, “A penny.
“Smith asks,” Can I have a penny?” The Lord replies, “In a minute”.
oOo
Hidden Soldiers!
..ang sagot ni Pacman ng tanungin sya kung anung shampoo ang gamit nya!
oOo
QUESTION: What do women and police cars have in common?
ANSWER: They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.
oOo
“Nakakita ka lang ng mas makakapagpasaya sa yo, kinalimutan mo na ako.
Naaliw ka lang ng konti, hindi mo na ko binalikan. Binigyan ka lang ng pet,
farm at restaurant, akala mo kung sino ka na.” –Friendster
oOo
Boy: I love you.
Girl: Shut up!
Boy: I want you.
Girl: Shut up!
Boy: I miss you.
Girl: Shut up!
Boy: Ang ganda mo…
Girl: Really?
Boy: Shut up!
oOo
Difference between a high school student from a college student when they have their monthly period:
High school student: “Shit! Meron ako!”
College student: “YES! Meron ako!”
oOo
Consuelo is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children…and then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later…and has 22 children by her second husband. She dies.At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Consuelo as she lies in her coffin, looks up to the heavens, and says, “At last…they’re finally together.” A man standing next to him asks, “Excuse me, Father, but
do you mean her and her FIRST husband, or her and her SECOND husband?”"No,” the priest says politely, “I mean her LEGS.”
oOo
You may be sitting all alone today…but believe in the magic that someone is meant to sit beside you soon.
Tapos…pag puno na…aalis na ang dyip.
oOo
A guy went to the doctor because he was concerned about his sexuality.
Patient: “Doctor, I’m worried, I think I may be gay.”
Doctor: “Well, take off your pants and we’ll run a couple of tests.”
The man does so and the doctor grabs his p3nis.
Doctor: “Say ’55.’”
Patient: “55.”
The doctor then grabs his balls.
Doctor: “Say ’55.’”
Patient: “55.”
Doctor: Now, turn around and bend over.
The patient does so, and the doctor sticks his finger up his ass.
Doctor: “Say ’55.’”
Patient: “1…..2……3…..”
oOo
A guy walks past a mental hospital and hears a moaning voice “13…….13…….13………13″
The man looked over to the hospital and saw a hole in the wall, he looked through the hole and gets poked in the eye. The moaning voice then groaned
’14………14………14…….14.’
oOo
The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused. “Need some help?” a secretary, walking by, asked. “Yes,” he replied, “how does this thing work?” “Simple,” she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder. “Thanks, but where do the copies come out?”
oOo
**ALL of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of KUPS 
oOo
miss laro tayo plants vs. zombies
ikaw ung zombie at ako ung plant
…habang kinakaen mo ko , tinitira kta..^_^
**SMS Joke courtesy of bly_beer.
oOO
QUESTION: What’s the lightest thing in the world?
ANSWER: The penis, because you can lift it with just your imagination.
**SMS Joke courtesy of CallCenterGuy
oOo
JUAN: “Sir, pasensya na po kayo. Hindi po ako makakapasok ngayon, dahil masamang-masama po ang aking pakiramdam.”
TITSER: “A, ganoon ba? Saan masama ang pakiramdam mo?”
JUAN: “E, sir, sa test pong ibibigay nyo.”
