SMS Jokes 142

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Bago ang laban: Margarito
Matapos ang laban: MAGArito! 😀

Go Pacman!
Go Phelepins!:-)

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Isipin mo kung lahat ng mag-Ama ay bading..
Ama: “Junaknak ikyeme mo sa mudra mo, l8tr na akiz juwe, overtym akiz sa work chenez.”
Anak: “Trulalu ba yan pudra? Baka chochorva ka lang e!”
Ama: “kafal ng feslak mo! Wit na nga q panglafang kakagetlak mo ng anda q n0!”
Anak: “Keribelles! Ok fyn kyeme q na kay mudra!”
Ama: “keri mo yan go!”

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GREG: “Miss, ano ang masarap na almusal?”
WAITRESS: “Tapsilog, sir.”
GREG: “Ayoko nun! Wala bang iba? Meron kayong light meal?” (sabay kindat sa waitress)
WAITRESS: “Sige…ah gusto nyo PUKE? ”
GREG: “Ha? Napakapilya mo pala! Mamaya na yun! Kain muna tayo!”
WAITRESS: “Si sir naman…ang ibig kong sabihin eh…PUto at KEso.”

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Isang araw, punding-pundi si
ST. PETER kay Satanas kasi konti lang umakyat sa langit. Sabi niya kay Satanas: “If you don’t stop sowing chaos on earth, I’ll have you arrested!”
SATAN: “Yabang mong magsalita. Wala ka namang mga police, andito lahat sa’kin! hehehe…”

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If it’s your birthday falls between today and the end of this month…
then you know your parents really enjoyed Valentine’s Day!!!:P

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Any attention,
no matter how painful,
is better than none.

Sa Tagalog, KSP ka lang!:-D

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Employee: “Boss, I just got married. May I request for a salary increase?”
Boss: “The office is not responsible for accidents happening outside its premises!”

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Bakit di pwedeng mag-asawa si Marc Logan at Beth Tamayo?
Ang pangit kasi nang dating eh! Kasi kapag sila ang nag-asawa magiging pangalan ni Beth Tamayo ay Beth Logan!

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Tikboy: ‘Pare alam mo ba na hanggang ngaun di pa rin nakikita ng mga Kano si Osama Bin Laden?”
Buknoy: “Oo nga, pare, bakit kaya?”
Tikboy: “Kasi ayon sa balita…nagpa-breast implant na raw sya at nagpapalit na ng mukha, babaeng-babae na raw kaya di na sya makilala.”
Buknoy: “Gano’n ba pare? Mautak talaga si Osama Bading Laden, no?”

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QUOTE:
“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.” – Afred Hitchcock

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Kung gusto mong sumikat, magdala ka ng sariling spotlight na nakatutok sayo wherever you go.
Para mas bongga, mag-hire ng alaylay na taga-bitbit at taga-tutok ng spotlight sayo.
Ewan ko na lang kung di ka pa mapansin niyan.

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Husband & wife had a tiff, wife calls Mum, ‘he fought w me again, am coming 2 live w you’
Mom: ‘no no, he must pay 4 his mistake, am coming 2 stay w you!’

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DENTISTA: “pakibuksan mabuti ang bibig.”
PASYENTE: “A-a-a-a-a!”
DENTISTA: (ipinasok ang maraming bulak, maliit na tuwalya, spongha, at pambunot na instrumento.)
“Kamusta naman ang iyong pamilya?”

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A beggar was pleading, “Have mercy and give me a dollar. I want to call my girlfriend.”
A passerby said, “What a life, even a beggar has a girlfriend!”
Beggar with tears in his eyes, “No, sir. It is the girlfriend who made me a beggar.”

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** All of the above SMS Jokes…courtesy of MIKE.

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