Girl: “Miss mo ba ako?”
Boy: “Miss pa sa ngayon…
misis na kita..” 😀
Boy: “Miss, bakery ka ba?”
Boy: “Kase pang gusto kong tikman yang big monay mo eh.”
masaya daw magmahal ng dalawa,
yung isa minamahal, ang isa naman pinapaasa..
para pag nawala ang isa meron pang isa,
eh pano kung nawala ang dalawa?
minsan maiisip mo rin mas masaya pala kung
AMA: “Bakit ka umiiyak?”
ANAK: “Pumasa po ako sa test. Huhuhu…”
AMA: “Aba, magaling! Anong subject yun, anak?”
ANAK: “Pregnancy test po, Itay!”
AMA: “Leche ka, JUNIOR, nag-iilusyon ka na naman!”
Itsura pala ni margarito nakaka awa mukha tama pala pangalan nya maga rito kc maga mukha nya at ang balita ay binitawan na niya ang pagka Mexican citizen nya, dahil sa pagkasara ng mata niya, magapply siyang Japanese citizen.
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a while. Urged on by friends, they decided it was
finally time to get married. Before the wedding they had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements, & so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of physical relationship.
“How do you feel about sex?” he asked, tentatively.
“I would like it infrequently,” she replied.
The old man sat quietly for a moment, leaned over towards her and whispered, “Is that one word or two?”
A guy looking to get married told his friend, “Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like.”
“Oh, that’s easy,” his pal replied. “Find someone who’s just like your mother.”
“I did that already,” he said, “and that one my dad didn’t like!”
A mother came home early & heard noises in her daughter’s bedroom. She went into the room & saw her daughter playing with a vibrator. “What are u doing?” the mom asks.
“Mom, I’m 40 years old & ugly. I will never get married, so this is pretty much my husband.”
The mom walked out shaking her head.
Next day, the dad came home & heard noises in his daughter’s bedroom. He walked in & saw daughter using the vibrator. “What are u doing?” he asks.
I already told Mom. I’m 40 years old & ugly. I will never marry & this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.” Dad shook head & left.
Next day, wife came home to find husband with a beer in 1 hand & a vibrator lying next to him, watching a ball game.
“For Christ’s sake, what are u doing?” she cried.
“I’m having beer & watching a game with my new son-in-law!”
** All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of Mike.
Pacquiao will put up his own university from the proceeds of his fight vs Margarito. He shall name this Pacquiao University; in short, “Pac U”. Hence, its students shall be called “Pacquers”; his mom will run it, and will be known as a “Mother Pacquer!”
** Above SMS Joke courtesy of Evan.