SMS Jokes 155

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Eksena sa jeep:
Miss: "Mama, usog naman ng konti, ipit na ang pearly shell ko eh."
Mister: "Buti ka pa ipit lang ang pearly shell mo, ako nga basag na ang tiny bubbles ko!"

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Wife: "Pag ako ang naunang namatay, ayoko "RIP" ang naka -lagay sa nitso ko. Gusto ko  "SUS."
HUSBAND: "Eh, ano yon?"
Wife:"SEE U SOON"

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Tanong ng isang girl:
"Alam mo mare, ung dati kong classmate, tuwang-tuwa sakin. Ang bait-bait ko daw. Kasi lagi niyang hiram ang panty, blouse, kamison, lipstick tsaka colgate ko. Gabi-gabi gamit nya kotse ko, kasama pa nya boyfriend  ko. Kaya lang nung minsan kumakain kami napansin ko suot-suot niya ngipin ko. Palagay mo, magagalit na ba ko?"

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Dear Santa,
Naging mabuting bata ako ngayong taon, at tanging hiling ko ay kayapaan at kasiyahan para sa lahat.
Love,
Josh

Dear Josh,
Nakatira ka ba ng shabu?
Santa

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JUAN: "madam, gusto ko pong magpahula."
MANGHUHULA: "Iwasan mo ng ang pagsinghot ng katol! Masama ito sa kalusugan mo. Lalo na at mukha ka pa namang lamok!"

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The car sped off the highway, went thru the guardrail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop.
A passing motorist, who saw the entired accident, helped the miraculously unhurt driver of the wreck. "Mister," he gasped, "are you drunk?"
"Of course," said the man. "What do you think I am… a stunt driver!"

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QUESTION: "What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?" ANSWER: "A rumor!"

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Great Words by an Unknown Lover:
"Nothing in this world is more expensive than having a girlfriend who is totally free on weekends..!"

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A girl wearing very short skirt.
Boy: Won’t ur mom say anything about ur dress?
Girl: My Mom will be very angry because I’m wearing HER dress!

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KMP
It is fulfilling & gratifying that one of our members,  Hayden, is finally acquitted. Justice is truly served & alive.
Kapisanan ng mga Manyak na Pinoy

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Misuse of English…
The diagram in a book was not clear. . .
So the female teacher said, "Don’t look at the book’s figure.
Look at my Figure."

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Confucius says:
1. Man who drops watch in toilet will have shitty times ahead.
2. A secretary is not a permanent unless screwed on desk.
3. Man becomes naughty when rich. Woman becomes rich when naughty.
4. There is no such thing as rape because woman with skirt up can run faster than man with pants down.:D

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** All of the above SMS Jokes courtesy of Mike.

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