Sariwang sariwa pa ‘to sa You Tube.
Syet! Kinilabutan ako. Kawawa ang kabit dahil nagdala talaga ng “hawi girls” si Misis. May taga-video pa!
Moral Lesson para sa mga kabit: Wag magpahaba ng buhok! 
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Archive for 7 December, 2010
Kerida Binugbog Sa Mall
Monday ME Time
ME TIME … my quiet moments… the “in between” pauses na gusto kong makasanayan para sa SARILI ko na naumpisahan ko ng mga ilang months na rin. Sana nga ay maging kaugalian ko ang mag ME Time sa mga darating pang araw…hanggang sa pag tanders ko at hanggang sa araw na matigok ako. Eto ang simpleng kapritso ko na sa tingin ko ay magandang gawin bisyo para sa sarili.
Mga ateng, wag mag-atubili na gawin ang ganitong oras para sa sarili kahit paminsan-minsan lang. Iisa lang naman ang buhay natin eh pagaanin na kahit na ang totoo ay may kahirapan talaga ang mamuhay ngayon. Iisa lang din ang katawan natin, aba eh alagaan na rin!
Heniways, gusto ko sana gawin ang frequency ng ME Time ko ng weekly pero dehins ko pa afford na maisingit sa regular budget ko kaya every other week na lang muna.
Sa totoo lang, marami naman talaga akong oras para sa sarili ko kasi tatatlo lang naman kami dito sa mansyones ko. Pag nasa school ang mga bagets ko…well, solo ko na talaga ang mga oras ko para sa sarili ko dito sa bahay. Pero minsan, siempre…gusto ko rin yung nasa labas ako para naman maalikabukan ang ganda ko, yung makalanghap ng buga ng usok mula sa tambutso ng jip ang baga ko at masikatan ng araw ang mala-sutla kong kutis. Wahihi!
Paano nga ba ako nag Me Time kanina?
Hmmm…nagpa-foot spa si Mamaru ng face.
Eto, nag-kodak ako. Alam nyo bang sa mga katas ng ubas nakalubog ang mga paa ko dito?
Siempre wish ko lang yun at hindi kayo maniniwala kasi ume-exaj lang aketch. Hehe!
Category: Personal Thoughts |
Tags: me time
SMS Jokes 151
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Isang araw nangingisda sa park ang isang probinsyanong si Juan. Nakita siya ng guard..
Guard: “hoi!!! Bawal mamingwit dyan… hindi mo ba nakikita at nababasa “NO FISHING ALLOWED”
Juan: “grabe ka naman… nililiguan ko lang naman ang uod eh…”
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BOY: “Kaw lang ang babae sa buhay ko!”
GAL: “Bakit wala ka bang nanay?”
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“Parang elevator lang yan eh. Bakit mO pagsisiksikan un sarili mo kung wala ng puwesto para sayo. Eh meron namang hagdan, ayaw mo lang
pansinin.” ~ Bob Ong
May sumagot naman ng: “Mapuno man ang elevator, sigurado namang babalik din ito at darating yun panahon na makakasakay ka din.” ~ Juan Tamad
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PROFESSOR: Which of the two travels faster – heat or cold?
NURSING STUDENT: “Heat, sir.PROFESSOR: why?”
NURSING STUDENT: “We can’t catch heat but we can catch cold.”
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Facts:
Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story:
In life, no one helps you once you get fucked!
Category: December 2010, HUMOR, SMS Jokes 2010 |
Tags: Green Jokes, jokes, lafftrip, Pinoy Jokes, SMS Jokes
Walang Pasko Dito
Sa mga balita sa TV ngayon, makikitang ramdam na ramdam na ng mga otaw sa kalakhang Menila ang Pasko. Ops, base lang ‘to sa nakikita ko sa TV ha?! Andun yung mas nagiging triple ang pasakit ng trapik kahit saang lansangan at parang siksikan na rin ang shoppers sa mga mall na akala mo walang naghihirap na Pinoy.
Kabaliktaran naman dito sa probinsyang kinaroroonan ko ngayon, haynaku! walang ka-layp layp. Wala! Dedma lang ang madlang pipol. Parang hindi December. Parang walang Pasko dito. Wala kang maaamoy na diwa ng Pasko sa kahanginan, pwera na lang pag dumaan ang trak ng basura, sure yun -may maaamoy ka talaga.
Kahit pumasok ka sa mall dito…dry pa sa dry goods ang ambiance. Kadismaya! Tuloy, parang wala akong kagana-gana lustayin ang milyones na ipinadala ng dyowa kong nilalangit. Sus, namobrelema tuloy ako kung paano ko wawaldasin ang salafing pinagkolboyan ni Kups sa Landon. Wahihi! Joklang! Baka naman maniwala kayo ha, pagtsi-tsinelasin ko kayo!
Heniways, buti na lang at sa Cainta kami magpapasko hanggang bagong taon. Kahit papano naman siguro ay mararamdaman namin doon yung sinasabing ‘holiday rush’.
Aminin ko, nai-excite ako sa pagtitipon-tipon na gagawin namin ng mga shopatid ko dun sa Cainta. Nai-excite din ako sa kina-aadikan naming BINGO na lalaruin namin dun.
Shet! Maalala ko, por hanred tawsan ang natalo sa akin sa Bingo noong Sabado! Kelangan makadayo na para makabawi ako dun sa Cainta. Lol! Asa pa ‘ko!
Mga ilang araw na lang eh bagong taon na rin. Hindi ko pa nababasa ang bagong sinasabi sa akin ng mga bituin ko sa langit. Ano kaya ang naghihintay na kapalaran sa akin sa susunod na taon? Mananatili kaya akong kaaya-aya, maganda, bata, sariwa, at maalindog neks yir? Howel, kung ano man ang mangyari…bahala na si Batman at bahala na rin ang mga bituin ko sa langit.
Pero sabi nga ni Manang Zenaida Seva (na hindi pa rin nagbabago ang hairdo hanggang ngayon. Kalokah!):
“Hindi hawak ng mga bituin ang ating kapalaran. Gabay lamang sila. Mayroon tayong freewill, gamitin natin ito. At ngayon bumalik tayong muli, sa masayang barkadahan ng, Umagang Kay Ganda.”
SMS Jokes 150
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JUAN: “Ano ang pinakamatinik na isda?”
JOSE: “pare yung tilapia.”
JUAN: “Mali.”
JOSE: “Alam ko na… bangus!”
JUAN: “Wrong again!”
JOSE: “Talakitok, mahi-mahi, bisugo..”
JUAN: “Nope, mali pa rin!”
JOSE: “Sige, sirit na!”
JUAN: “Ang pinaka “matinik” na isda eh ung hindi pa nahuhuli!”
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SOAP SA RADYO:
“Huwag mo akong hawakan, Berting! Nasasaktan ako! Magulo na ang buhok ko at pumapalag na ako ngayon.”
“Magtapat ka, Lorena! Habang humihigpit ang hawak ko sayo!”
“Tama na, Berting! May nakita akong kutsilyo sa mesa, kukunin ko ito at bigla kong isasaksak sayo… ayan nakuha ko na… sinaksak na kita.”
“Ahhh!!! Sinaksak mo ako sa tiyan, ito ngayon nagdurugo at mamatay na ako… ayan patay na ako!”
Buti na lang naimbento ang TV!
oOo
Sabi ng isang misis sa kanyang mister…
“Kung magiging hay0p ka sa next life mO. .
hindi ka pa ba nagsasawa?”
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Teenager to Trainer: “There’s a hot chick that I’m crazy about that I want to impress. What machine do you suggest I use?”
Trainer: “Try the ATM machine outside the gym!”
Shun From Sun
Skin wrinkles. With thousands of wrinkle cream products on the market, it’s nearly impossible to determine which one will really work. Having wrinkles is a sign of aging. Aging is inevitable. Therefore, wrinkles is unavoidable. Although there are many ways to help reduce or delay the sign of aging, one approach is to protect the skin from the sun because according to dermatology experts, 90-95% of the wrinkles are caused by sun exposure. That’s it! I think that is also the most inexpensive way to keep away from having wrinkles.
Moderation and Dedication
When it comes to aspiration of losing weight, it really takes a lot of willpower to meet the goal during holidays. Christmas and New Year is fast approaching and for sure to feast on food is hard to resist. No wonder why cissus quadrangularis weight loss supplement is in demand during the holiday season as well. Actually you can still maintain your weight even during holidays or even continue to lose weight just as long you know the meaning of the term “moderation” in what you eat and of course not to forget the “dedication” to your weight loss goal.
SMS Jokes 149
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A male census taker rang the doorbell and was greeted by a naked woman.
“Don’t be embarrassed, I’m a nudist,” she said.
Although alarmed, he proceeded to ask routine questions.
“How many children do you have?” he asked.
“Nineteen,” the woman replied.
“Nineteen?” he said. “Lady, you’re not a nudist – you just don’t have time to get dressed!”
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The science teacher asked her class. “Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?”
Jimmy raised his hand and said, “I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Corvette.”
Jenny raised her hand and said, “I would want platinum, because it is worth more than gold and I could buy a Ferrari.”
Johnny stood up and said, “I would want silicone.”
The teacher asked, “Silicone? Why silicone?”
Johnny said, “Because my Mom has two bags of the stuff and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!”
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GIRL: I have committed a great sin. I called a boy a bastard.
PSYCHIATRIST: That’s not a nice thing to say. What did he do to you?
GIRL: Well, he kissed me.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean, like this?
GIRL: Yes.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well, that’s no reason to call him a bastard.
GIRL: But he put his hand inside my bra.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean, like this?
GIRL: Yes.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well, that’s no reason to call him a bastard.
GIRL: But he took off my clothes.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean, like this?
GIRL: Yes.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well, that’s no reason to call him a bastard.
GIRL: But he had sex with me.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean, like this?
GIRL: Yes!
PSYCHIATRIST: Well, that’s no reason to call him a bastard.
GIRL: But he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: The bastard!
Does Size Matter?
Does size really matter? I am proud to say that my significant other definitely don’t need those male enhancement products. Thank God! Lol.
Seriously, does size matter? Yes! I am referring to individual’s waist sizes. Women with a waistline greater than 35 inches and men who measure greater than 40 inches, regardless of height, a lot of greater risk of the five most common causes of premature death nowadays: heart disease, cancer, stroke, respiratory disease, and diabetes. Again, does size matter? Size matters, but mostly at the waist.
Road Assistance Club
I admire the efficiency and reliability of company like Good Sam Emergency Road Service that gives 24 hour service for RV, 5th wheel and travel trailer owners in case of road emergency and vehicle breakdown. Any time if the owner is a member, he can simply call the roadside assistance club for help. Check out their website, goodsamers.com for other great benefits and products. They have coverage in U.S.A., Canada, Mexico, and anywhere in North America.
